Bridesmaid dresses

[Sparkey47]

My best friend is getting married and asked me to be her bridesmaid, I’m over the moon of course and would love to support her on her big day, however she’s asked the bridesmaids (there’s 3 of us) to pay for our own dresses and make up, she’s already found the dresses and she’s in love with them, I don’t particularly like them however, and altogether it would cost me £190 for it all. I know it may not sound like a lot of money to some, but I’ve got a young baby so I’m still on maternity pay and my and my partner don’t earn that much as it is so money is a bit tight, she’s not struggling for money as they both still live at home and work good jobs. I get that weddings can easily add up but then she could just cut back elsewhere to make it work, one of the other bridesmaids is in the exact same boat as me. Everyone else has been shocked at why she’s asking us to pay for stuff when it’s her wedding, I’m never going to wear the dress ever again, AIBU to not want to pay? Should I say something? I just don’t want to upset her.

Unless you are in the US then no. If she has chosen the dress then she needs to pay.
I paid for EVERYTHING for my bridesmaids including their flights and hotel as it was a destination wedding.

Of course YANBU.
Tell her that, whereas you were honoured that she asked you to be bridesmaid, at the time of accepting you hadn't realised you would be being expected to pay for the privilige, and doesn't she realise that it is expected that the B&G pay for all costs to do with the wedding.

Tell her that neither you, nor at least one other of the bridesmaids has the sort of money to be spending £190 on a dress you are never going to wear again, so, if that is the way she is planning her wedding then you will have to step down as bridesmaid.

Then the ball is in her court to re-think what she is paying for, or go with one bridesmaid in stead of 3

(The make up - I can't help feeling you could all do yourselves.)

As she's your best friend I'm thinking you won't want to upset her, so I'd suggest something along the lines of "I'm really sorry but £190 is way outside my budget, especially for a dress I can't use again. I won't be at all offended if you want to have someone else as your bridesmaid, I'll still help out and be there to support you on the day!"

Please tell her.

This whole ‘bridesmaids pay for their dresses’ -like it’s some kind of honour to pay for a dress you will never wear again seems to have migrated over to the UK.

Very bad form. Like those couples that expect people to book into their wedding venue so to reduce the cost to them of their own wedding package.

Blimey. She’s definitely BU. I had one bridesmaid. We went shopping together to choose something she’d like and I paid for it. I wanted her to feel happy and comfortable in what she was wearing. She wasn’t a Barbie doll for me to dress as I please, she’s someone I love and wanted to treat kindly

A friend asked me to be her bridesmaids back in August and she was excepted me to pay for the bridesmaid dresses ect ....I also was getting married in the may. I have a child and started school in September so uniform doesn't come that cheap...she doesn't have any children.... she wanted me to buy the bridesmaid dress which was £90 just for the dress and pay the make up and hair a week before my wedding....I simply said no I can't be your bridesmaids as I just can't afford it....she ended up not coming to my wedding and I didn't her and we haven't spoken since. Bearing in mind it's her second marriage as she only just turn 30 🙈🤣

Oh and I didn't have any bridesmaids because I simple couldn't afford one....as I do think it's the bride job to pay for the dresses.