I need a handhold

[red91]

I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I can't cope.

My ex has made mine and my partners life hell for months. He's on bail with a no contact condition but he broke that yesterday.
I'm on edge in my own. All I can think is something bad is going to happen.

My DP has gone out until 10:30pm. I don't know how to get through 5 hours this terrified, I'm struggling.

Do you have to be in? Is there a friend you could visit?

Can a friend come to yours? Are the doors locked?

Have you informed the police that he's broken his bail terms? Because that should ensure he gets taken into custody again.

hey there.

First of all, concentrate on your breathing. Breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of four. This really helps to calm you down. It's a physical and psychological way of managing the feeling of panic.

Presumably you reported the breach to the police?

Have you spoken to the police?

Is there anyone who can come and sit with you until your partners home?

Thanks everyone.

No friends/family that could come round.

I didn't want to bring DS out until after 10pm, he's only 2 and he's been confused enough by stuff going on, I wanted to keep some stability.

Breach was reported today. They were vague on when he'd be re-arrested though ('could be this afternoon, could be tomorrow') and just said they'd update me.

Had someone ringing the doorbell and disappearing after a few seconds this afternoon too so even more on edge.

Ensure all doors and windows locked, close curtains, make sure. Phones are fully charged.
Do not answer the door or phone. Think of it as lock down phone a friend.

Broken bail conditions, mean police can respond much quicker.

Stay safe
.

Your partner has gone out leaving you in this state? That's not very supportive. Did he have to go?

Can a friend come over to be with you until he returns?

Make sure doors and windows are shut and locked, curtains drawn. I doubt your ex would risk trying to get in but having a secure home would make you feel better perhaps?

x-posted with you OP.

Longer term could you get some cameras for the house?

Keep your phone close by and dost hesitate to ring the police if you think he's there and the situation could turn violent. Has he made any threats?

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe he did unfortunately because of work. He's cancelled so many things/called into work so many times over the past few months because of this situation

Everything's locked and shut. I just worry about a door being kicked in or him having some other weird plan about how to get in etc! Probably overthinking too much!!

@Wattagoose90 exactly my mums suggestion this afternoon.

There's been no very recent threats but there's been continuous incidents of aggression and threatening behaviour for 6+ months now.

Could you request a panic button from the police?
My sisters ex partner was abusive and he was on an order where he wasn't allowed anywhere near her. He broke it and the police installed one in her house for her. It's connected to the police.

@Greggers2017 sounds like a really good idea - I've never even heard of it!

Oh, red91. That's not good. Why were the police so vague about the breach, he's broken the law!

You can't go on like this, being in fear. Of course your partner has to go to work.

I would ring the police again, explain that you have a young child and that you are worried. If that doesn't get you anywhere then I'd consider contacting my local councillor. They can often apply pressure with the police where members of the public can't.

I'm sorry that you're scared. Nobody should have to live in fear like this. Be prepared to make a nuisance of yourself to get action.

Here with you, OP.
Keep everything locked and keep the phone handy.
Try to keep yourself distracted...

Hope all is well.

Have the police given you any contact info for Victim Support OP? Think their helpline is still open and thought it might help if you could speak to someone with experience of this kind of situation. They might be able to advise/get the ball rolling about a panic button and anything else the police can do to help as well.

www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help

Having supported a friend through similar, my experience was that you have to be very proactive in seeking help and get informed about your rights.

She had an IDVA but that was because she had been removed from a DV situation. I am not sure if this would apply to you.
Certainly contact Victim Support and ask them to help with you things like panic buttons.

Why were the police so vague about the breach, he's broken the law

Friends has an injunction out on her stbexh. He has broken it multiple times.

The police don’t do anything. They arrive at her house 24 hours after she has reported him and because he isn’t there they don’t do anything because it is one word against the other.

Thanks everyone

Going to get in touch with victim support!

I'll be here on and off through the evening OP if you need someone to chat to. Hope VS are helpful

Thanks again everyone.
DP is on his way home now early anyway so I'm more than relieved!

Glad to hear that OP, hope you can get some reassurance from the police tomorrow

I'd contact victim support, IDVA and women's refuge. They will all give you valuable advice. They take any kind of abuse or control seriously.
Speak to the police about the panic button and good luck tomorrow.