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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you ‘tip’ your postie/bin men etc at Christmas?

100 replies

FiveFarthings · 29/10/2019 15:44

Just wondering if people do this and if so, what do you do? Cash in a card? Box of mince pies/chocolate?

My parents are in their 60s and I remember they always used to leave cash in a card for the postie/bin men when we were kids but I don’t know if people do this now?

I’ve never done it as where we used to live we always had loads of different posties so never gave anything, but in our new house we have just the one regular and he’s really nice and friendly, always has a chat and always makes a fuss of the dog, was considerate when DD was born and left the parcels inside the gate rather than ringing the bell etc

I’d like to give him something, just not sure what the done thing is now days? Thoughts?

OP posts:
TildaKauskumholm · 29/10/2019 22:33

Wouldn't dream of it. Hardly ever see the same postie twice, and the binmen are idle bastards who can't be arsed to walk 2 extra steps to put the bin back where they got it from (instead leaving it almost in the road, no pavement here, where passing lorries cause it to blow over into the road).

greypetex · 29/10/2019 22:39

In this day and age I think it's pretty patronising to stick a £10/£20/£50 note into a card and give it to another adult you barely know.

Why in this day and age? Was it ok before? What's changed? Why patronising? Someone giving you a Christmas gift, it's a nice gesture

If I were a postwoman doing my job I'd feel a bit insulted tbh. It's demeaning.

Why?

AtiaoftheJulii · 29/10/2019 22:44

I usually give the postie something - he's always cheery and helpful when I see him.

Don't give the bin men anything any more mainly because it would be difficult to actually get it to them - couldn't leave anything out overnight as it would be picked up, and they come really early in the morning. Actually, they generally wake us up about quarter to six, so maybe we could think of something we could just chuck out the window to them!?

I don't think it's demeaning at all. I'm a community nurse and we bloody love it when patients or their families give us anything! Including just cards, they all go up in the office.

If I was having my hair cut just before Christmas I'd give the hairdresser an extra tip. I've got a cleaner this year, I don't know if she's someone I'd be expected to give a Christmas box to? I'm not sure she's very good so I don't really want to! There aren't that many people who provide a regular service to me.

People who are saying why is it just some professions - if you had to see a solicitor every week for a year and you thought they were doing a good job, you might give them a card and a bottle of wine at Christmas - that sort of behaviour is hardly unknown! Lots of people like to show their appreciation of others.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 29/10/2019 22:48

Why in this day and age? Was it ok before? What's changed?

Well, in this day and age, in the UK at least, we have minimum wage which we never had "back in the day" when presumably these traditions became the norm.
Min wage for adults around 8 pounds an hour.
When we all get paid the same, why do we tip some but not others?
Is it to tip those we still think we think have jobs beneath us, how they could "do" with a few extra pounds?

Frenchmom · 29/10/2019 23:14

I live in France. In the next few weeks the post person, firemen and bin men will come round with calendars to sell for their Christmas ‘box’.

pigsDOfly · 29/10/2019 23:32

@WotchaTalkinBoutWillis. That's exactly it. Giving money in this way smacks of playing lady bountiful.

JonnyPocketRocket · 29/10/2019 23:49

Min wage for adults around 8 pounds an hour.
When we all get paid the same, why do we tip some but not others?

But we don't all get paid the same Confused Some people earn minimum wage; others earn a lot more.
I work in the NHS and am fortunate to earn more than minimum wage, but I'm always very touched when patients give a card or a small gift. We're not supposed to accept money but I've had patients tuck it into my handbag without my realising when I'm on a housecall. More often they give food. It's not about the value of the gift at all; it's just nice to be appreciated. I think most of the people saying "it's demeaning" don't work in service-industry-type jobs and don't realise how heartwarming it is when the people you're looking after or providing a service for say thank you and do something to show their appreciation. I've never met anyone who finds it offensive to receive this sort of gift.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 29/10/2019 23:55

But we don't all get paid the same confused Some people earn minimum wage; others earn a lot more.

That's not what I was saying though - obviously people do get paid more than others, we don't all get paid the same.
When it comes to "low paid jobs" though, we do. Why do some get tips but not others?

ThreeLittleDots · 30/10/2019 00:07

I think most of the people saying "it's demeaning" don't work in service-industry-type jobs

I have a part-time service industry job (not in food), and actually I do feel patronised and demeaned when given a tip. I know it's well meaning, and gets shared with the team. But I find it patronising and embarrassing.

I'm on the same wage as supermarket staff, shop assistants and others, yet they don't get tipped.

It's all very old-fashioned and 'lady bountiful' as a pp said. Just feels divisive I guess.

escapade1234 · 30/10/2019 00:12

If I wasn’t a respectable married woman, I’d like to do more than give my postman a tip.

I’d like him to stick more than just letters through my door. He’s very attractive.

Defender90 · 30/10/2019 00:15

I leave a fiver in a card for the milkman (milk lad I suppose really) never see the bin man or the postie.

HalfManHalfLabrador · 30/10/2019 00:22

No. I don’t think I’ve ever actually even seen my postman or binman

greypetex · 30/10/2019 00:26

Well, in this day and age, in the UK at least, we have minimum wage which we never had "back in the day" when presumably these traditions became the norm.

Giving a gift of a tip at Christmas had absolutely nothing to do with anyone trying to subsidise the bin man (or whoever) wages though. It is just a kind gesture.

Is it to tip those we still think we think have jobs beneath us, how they could "do" with a few extra pounds?

You are the only one suggesting people have 'jobs beneath us'

Weird.

PapayaCoconut · 30/10/2019 00:29

I don't generally tip anyone, but I give the cleaner a Christmas bonus. I think that's different as she works directly for us and we pay money into her account anyway.

When I was very young, I used to work in the reception area of a large office building housing several law offices. At Christmas, the CEO of one company would come down personally to hand us each a Christmas card with £20 in it and we had to act all grateful. He made such a big deal out of rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi, it was quite ridiculous.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/10/2019 00:30

@escapade1234
If I wasn’t a respectable married woman, I’d like to do more than give my postman a tip. I’d like him to stick more than just letters through my door. He’s very attractive.

Grin fnarr, why don't I have a postman I'd phwargh over lol

PapayaCoconut · 30/10/2019 00:32

You are the only one suggesting people have 'jobs beneath us'

I think the act of tipping implies that. People don't tip their accountant or solicitor.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/10/2019 00:33

You are the only one suggesting people have 'jobs beneath us' Weird

Nope. Just wondering why some jobs are OK to tip, leave out tins of chocolates to, the odd fiver, but not others? Even though they get paid the same as others whether it be carers or whoever?

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 30/10/2019 00:34

We used to have an a different lot of post people (not sure of the neutral term here but were definitely both sexes) and most were not good. Over the last couple of years we've had a regular postman and he's been great. Last year had a card for him and he wasn't around at Christmas! He's genuinely lovely, remembers preferences as to whether you'll take a parcel and will actually knock on an obliging neighbours door. May need to make sure I get his card ready before the star of December this year.
Never thought about the bin men feel safer saying that as I've not had a bin woman before here though. Have they got enough room in their cab to hold lots of lager/chops etc?

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/10/2019 00:34

I think the act of tipping implies that

Exactly, cross posted

MiniMum97 · 30/10/2019 00:34

No I am anti tipping generally. I don't see why some professions are more worthy than other low paid jobs and require tipping. I do however get my cleaner a gift and card at Christmas but then I know her as I see her all the time and she works in my home. I never see my bin men or postman.

PenguinsOnParade · 30/10/2019 00:36

We used to as we have a regular postie but they bring so many seasonal staff in that it's rarely him over the Christmas period.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/10/2019 00:41

I do however get my cleaner a gift and card at Christmas but then I know her as I see her all the time and she works in my home.

See, that's different, you know and see her all the time and want to buy her a Christmas present. You "know" her, feel like she's close?
Can see why then...
randomly tipping your hairdresser or bin man you never really see though not so much.

greypetex · 30/10/2019 00:42

I think the act of tipping implies that. People don't tip their accountant or solicitor.

I use my accountant once a year to do my books. I have seen a solicitor once in my life and I'm over 40. My postman delivers mail to my house 6 days a week in all weathers. My postman therefore is more deserving of a tip than my accountant. Based on what he actually does and how often, not what his salary is Confused

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 30/10/2019 00:51

My postman delivers mail to my house 6 days a week in all weathers. My postman therefore is more deserving of a tip than my accountant

OK, fair enough but I don't get this reasoning.
What about the lollipop lady with a friendly hi every morning and gets my kids safely across the road to school?
A carer in a nursing home looking after a relative?
All get paid the same,, minimum wage type pay.
Why some but not others?

greypetex · 30/10/2019 00:59

OK, fair enough but I don't get this reasoning.

What about the lollipop lady with a friendly hi every morning and gets my kids safely across the road to school?

I would give her a gift from the children in those circumstances. My kids never crossed with a lollipop last though so I never did it.

A carer in a nursing home looking after a relative?

We always handed in chocolate & wine for the care home staff at Christmas, unlike the postie they don't work alone so it would be unrealistic to give individual tip/gift.

All get paid the same,, minimum wage type pay.
Why some but not others?

I generally gift most people I deal with on a day to day basis. It's nothing to do with what they earn.

I also gift my regular coffee shop £50 at Christmas towards their staff night out.