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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice please? Tips on re-homing a much loved dog.

16 replies

DirtyNumbAngel · 28/10/2019 23:07

Hi Sorry not an AIBU but I'm seeking advice on re-homing my Mum's dog. She's 9/10yo and a rottweiler. She is the sweetest loveliest dog you would ever meet and has been treated so well since she was a puppy Does anyone have any advice on making this easier?
TIA

OP posts:
Span1elsRock · 28/10/2019 23:13

Find a breed specific rescue close to you. They tend to be smaller charities, and more invested in finding the right home for the dog. I'm a member of several spaniel groups, and it's lovely to see the dogs going from foster into adoption.

And that way, the dogs age won't be a negative factor. A simple google search brought up these and they may be able to point you somewhere more local if they are miles from you.

www.rottweilerwelfare.co.uk/
www.rottweilerrescuetrust.co.uk/

Wolfiefan · 28/10/2019 23:16

Why do you need to?

Willowkins · 28/10/2019 23:19

Another vote for a breed specific group. The Kennel Club can help with this.

DirtyNumbAngel · 28/10/2019 23:25

Sorry, reading my OP back it's a bit vague. My mum, who adores her dog, has terminal cancer. The dog is coming to live with me and my two sons (11&13) and she is very used to us but shes a lovely old girl and I want to make this as easy for her as i can.

OP posts:
FurrySlipperBoots · 28/10/2019 23:28

Awwww. I'm sorry about your mum. Well, the fact that she knows you already will help of course! I think it's important you bring her own bed/bowls/toys to yours, even if they're looking old and tired, don't replace them until she's really settled with you. Decide what your rules will be for her coming on the sofa/in the bedrooms etc now, so you can all be consistent from the start.

DirtyNumbAngel · 28/10/2019 23:43

Thank you furryslipperboots she is very close to my boys and they love her. We're just all struggling through but I feel bad for her having all this change and not being able to understand it.

OP posts:
fourquenelles · 28/10/2019 23:50

I have 3 big old boys (10 +). Not Rotties but sighthounds. They sleep a lot, like routine and also like to have a place that they can retreat too for some alone time - vital I think as you have children.
They are happy to bimble about on a walk and love their food. Old age health issues are becoming more apparent so insurance is great if you can get it.

I am sorry to hear about your mum Flowers

Willowkins · 28/10/2019 23:58

I understand now. I think bringing some of your mum's things (eg a favourite old cardigan) will help the dog to settle in. It's lovely that you are thinking about the dog's needs when you have so much else going on Flowers

DirtyNumbAngel · 29/10/2019 00:05

Thank you for your kind words and adivce. I know I probably sound cold worrying about a dog but she means so much to my mum and us all and to be honest. I feel pretty useless and so much is out of our control now I just want to help my mum anyway I can. And this is one of the few things I can help with. Sorry I'm rambling now Blush

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 29/10/2019 00:21

OP you sound very loving and considerate, and are not rambling in the slightest. No advice re: how to settle the dog other than bring plenty of things from your DM's house for her that smell of 'home'- her own bed and toys, some clothing or blankets your DM has used that will smell of her etc, and give her time. Things will seem much more settled a few weeks in that they might say the start at that is normal and no reflection on you.

Very sorry about your DM's illness OP. What a weight off of her mind that you will be looking after her beloved dog. I'm sure that must mean the world to her Flowers

Tellmeagain · 29/10/2019 00:26

I don't have any useful advice that hasn't been offered already but have been through similar with my mum and just wanted to say I'm sorry about your mum's diagnosis and send you very best wishes for the time you have with her.

HowlinProwlin · 29/10/2019 01:34

Ahh I understand (I had to read through twice...)

Let her settle in at her own pace, so don't go instilling hard fast rules at this point - by that I mean, let her figure out where to sleep, let her access you at night if she needs to (if she can get to you, she's unlikely to cry or howl for you), basically be pretty easy going.

If at all possible, don't leave her alone for well, as long as it takes for her to feel secure and comfy in your home - realistically that might mean getting a dog sitter in for the first few weeks.

Treat her much like a new puppy, you don't know her routine, her communications and she doesn't know your home and your routine and how you communicate. Let all that settle in first THEN you can start to change things if you need to do that.

Bring smelly things from home. Use an Adaptil collar and plug in around the house.

Try to devise routines that make sense to her, for example if taking her for a walk - put her harness and lead on FIRST.. then put your shoes/coat/etc on.

That way she will soon pick up whether she is coming with (because harness and lead go on) or she is not (they don't) rather than getting all excited or anxious because you are all getting ready and she doesn't know if she is coming too..

Give her whatever comfort she asks for, if she LIKES cuddles and asks for those, do that - if she doesn't however, then don't. That might seem like common sense but on the one hand you have people (idiots) who believe being nice or kind to an anxious/frightened animal will reinforce fear and on the other you have those who go hysterical and giddy and clingy, and frighten the poor dog further!

LaLoba · 29/10/2019 06:07

You’re giving her a home, have I got that right OP?
You don’t sound cold at all, if I was facing a terminal diagnosis, my first concern would be my dog. You’re doing a caring thing for both your mum and your dog.

@HowlinProwlin has excellent advice re settling her. As she’s used to you and your family, any anxiety coming from the dog is likely to be because she’s missing your mum (and being a dog will know she’s ill). As pp suggested, something specific to your mum, like a jumper or a blanket might help. (When I moved house my cat was petrified, so I didn’t wash the duvet and left it in a room with him - he was very comforted by our familiar smell).

From your description of the dog (I may be biased as I love Rotties) I think she’ll be fine - it’s just so sad for all of you. Wishing you strength.

MrsMozartMkII · 29/10/2019 06:09

I'm sorry lass.

As others have said, calm and own space (but also being a Rottie company!), known scents, routine.

yearinyearout · 29/10/2019 06:56

I think if you bring all her belongings and follow the same routine she has been used to, she will be fine.
Same feeding time, same bowls, same bed, same house rules, lots of reassurance.
Sorry to hear about your mum 💐

Booboostwo · 29/10/2019 08:44

I am very sorry for your mum. It must be a weight off her mind to know her dog is being looked after.

I’d provide the dog with a safe space to retreat to as well as the choice to come be with you. An item of clothing that smells like your mum might be nice and Adaptil or Zylkene can help relieve stress.

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