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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU parent's evening

15 replies

JADS · 28/10/2019 22:17

Yes probably IABU, but it's a right pain.

My DS has ASD and attends a special school. The education he receives is great, the head and his deputies are marvellous and they work miracles.

What is a right old pain is the communication. They email system is a bit hit and miss plus they run everything very last minute. Which is fine if you don't work, but I am one of the lucky parents who does. I have raised this issue several times, given suggestions like a Google calender, but they don't seem interested.

My gripe is parent's evening. I know it will be on a Thursday PM (annoying as I work Thursdays with little flexibility). The school shuts an hour early so I end up paying for an extra hour of child care. Annoying enough and another niggle to organise at short notice. Fortunately they run until 7pm so I can finish a touch early, pray to the TFL gods for a smooth tube journey, hope that the traffic isn't horrendous at our end and make it for one of the later appointments. Go me!

I log on tonight to find they have changed the system and the latest appointment is 4.45! That's not evening FFS.

Would I be unreasonable to contact to the school tomorrow and ask to be seen on one of my days off instead? My and dh's annual leave is precious beyond belief as DS1 struggles in all day child care and has different holidays to DS2 who is NT. I get that teachers have lives and shouldn't have to stay late, but these meetings are important (more so than for NT DS2 who doesn't take the bus to school). DH works away, but can get back for 7pm, but not 4.45.

OP posts:
JADS · 28/10/2019 22:18

TLDR: AIBU that the last appointment for parent's evening is 4.45?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 28/10/2019 22:19

We’d accommodate parents who couldn’t make the main parents evening with alternative slots. Definitely ask.

SummerHouse · 28/10/2019 22:20

Totally not unreasonable to arrange an appointment convenient to you/them. I wouldn't give it a second thought. You have enough on your plate.

Divebar · 28/10/2019 22:27

Both DH and I missed a parents evening appointment because our trains were heavily delayed. We just contacted the teacher and re arranged at a mutually beneficial time.... no drama at all.

Starlight456 · 28/10/2019 22:30

My ds’s primary often saw parents outside of parents evening if they couldn’t make it. So yes ask

AmberAndAlexsMum · 28/10/2019 22:31

My son is in a special school which is 25 miles from home. I asked for, and got, telephone appointment instead. Makes life a lot easier.

frogsbreath · 28/10/2019 22:33

My DS's school will make alternate arrangements for people who can't make parent's evening. However last appointment on parent's evening is 6pm, 4.45pm is ridiculous!

I wonder if the teacher this year has commitments which mean they cannot work the previous hours.

buckeejit · 28/10/2019 22:39

Ask what they can do.

I've said even our small town school should offer Skype sessions for PT interviews. Would save a lot of faff & wasted travel time for some parents.

If there are known issues, then it may be beneficial to be face to face but if you don't expect anything shocking then why not Skype it?

Parsimon · 28/10/2019 22:45

Parents evening by Skype or FaceTime is also good and saves the travel.

pinksquash13 · 28/10/2019 22:49

Yes I'm a teacher and sometimes like the different apportionment days as it gives you fewer to see on that busy night. Just contact the teacher. 4.45pm is early for last app. Even 8 months pregnant my last one is at 6pm.

isittooearlyforgin · 28/10/2019 22:57

Definitely. I am a teacher and my job is to accommodate parents, it is in my interest to communicate effectively with parents who want to find out about their child’s education.

JADS · 29/10/2019 09:30

Thank you all. I have to admit I thought I was being totally unreasonable, but the school are going to rearrange it for a different day.

OP posts:
katycb · 29/10/2019 11:30

As others have said. Just ask. I'm a a teacher and most years I'll see maybe 3 or 4 sets of parents at other times for various reasons either before school or after school on other days, I mean be sensible I have had people ask for 7:30 on a day that isn't parents evening or be very inflexible with times but in general If I can I'll see people!

Damntheman · 29/10/2019 12:13

It's a really difficult thing, I feel for you OP! Parent teacher meetings in Norway are only during work hours so there's no way around it, time off simply must be taken.

You wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for another day! Particularly if you can be a little flexible around what the teacher can offer. Good luck!

AryaStarkWolf · 29/10/2019 12:17

If you can't make it, you can't make it. Phone them up and schedule a chat with them another time

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