To ask what happens at counselling?

[Jiggerypokery1986]

Hi everyone, I've been quite up and down lately and have many issues to contend with right now. I feel like I might benefit from some counselling.

I've had a look online at local counsellors, but I'm really nervous for the initial appointment.

I just wondered what it's like, do you turn up with a list of things or just speak about things that bother you? Not knowing the set up of it is making me feel incredibly anxious about it all.

I would like to know this too. I went once many years ago whilst at uni and quite frankly I found the experience very unsettling and did not help me in the slightest but willing to try again. I’m hoping to hear some positive experiences

The first appointment, or first few if they're really good, you'll just be deciding if you can work together. You'll talk about why you think counselling might help you.

Expect that you will cry, either at the first session or later sessions. Expect that addressing some of the issues will make you feel tired - worn out - and as if you've wept for weeks.
Expect the unexpected - your mind will change, if the counselling is good and effective. But the outcome is not predictable. You will be living your life as a new person. Different attitudes and expectations.

Sometimes you don't click with a counsellor. Don't be afraid to call it to a halt and move on.

Ten years, twelve counsellors. From telephone counselling provided by employers/unions, to MIND counsellors and mindfulness courses (mindfulness helps - 'This moment, now'), NHS counselling in various forms from GP surgery to a clinical psychotherapist. The Senior Psychological Therapist (16 sessions) was the last and best, but the volunteer counsellor (once a week for five months, provided by the local authority under some scheme to keep the borough sane) was also extremely good and helpful. Was I fucked up? Yep. Mum and dad, husband, work, that stuff. Am I now? No. Not a bit.

Go for it! It might help.

To the last one, I took a timeline of my life and all my issues. Took months to write (while I was on the waiting list) and it was harrowing to go through all that. But I wanted to be well.

Three or more of my therapists/counsellors have cried as I explained my issues. One that stayed in my mind was a telephone triage person - they're usually as hard as nails - who whimpered 'Oh no!' and started to sob quietly when I got to telling her about 2013...

I've been quite shocked at how hard my life has seemed to other people. I mean, it seemed hard to me but you don't expect others to feel it.

Dd had to explain her life to someone recently and came to me afterwards saying 'I didn't realise my life has been so bleak!'

In my experience the first session is about getting to know each other and the problem that needs addressing. It's quite often just an assessment - you might talk through the issue that you feel needs addressing, what you hope the outcome of the counselling might be, there might be some forms to fill in (basic assessments such as being asked to rate how you feel about certain things from 1-5, that sort of thing).

It's also your chance to get to know your counsellor and see if its someone you feel you can work with.

Then there might be a discussion about what form the counselling could take, how many sessions it might cover, what techniques the counsellor uses, etc. Depending on how you're feeling there might be some short-term coping strategies and there might be 'homework' such as making a note of what makes you feel anxious, or noting the things that make you feel worse.

Please don't worry, it feels daunting but counselling/therapy can literally change your life

Thank you for your responses. I'm pleased it has worked for you!
I naively expected to turn up and be expected to let everything out to a total stranger. I think that's what has put me off. But knowing they do an assessment and you build a rapport first has certainly eased some of my worries!
I'm going to have a look now at how they work and pick one I hope fits 🙂 thank you again