To be furious at the state of the place?

[Organicmamahope]

I left xp 2 years ago and while I've been renting elsewhere he has stayed living in the joint house we own. I have been continuing to pay half the mortgage plus rent in my new place. However I've come back to the joint house for a few days and am appalled by the state of the place. Boxes of rusty tools everywhere. Two old leather sofas which have gone mouldy which he refuses to get rid of. I'm totally discussed and sad it has got to this. He won't roll his sleeves us to help, and I've only made a tiny dent working on it all day. He's now gone to the pub. I've offered to remove the sofas and decorate the room their in but he can't help me lift them as he has a 'bad back'. There is excuse after excuse. This is my house too, but he's driven me out with his mental and financial abuse as well as the junk he's living in. He's quite smug about it all and is telling me to 'stop nagging'. When we moved I had to change the kids schools and I lost loads of friends who don't bother to contact me anymore. I've just had enough.

How much a year is your share of the mortgage costing you? I don't see how it can be worth paying

Gettingfedupagain, about 7k per year, but it is going into the house so not dead money.

But won't it become 'dead money' if he neglects the house so much you have to take less for it when you do eventually sell? You said you would lose money even if you sold now because of the state he's let it get into, which is only going to get worse. You are effectively giving him £7k a year of your money and expecting him to look after it, which seems bonkers given everything you've said about him

I genuinely don't understand why you're hanging on to this house OP? You can't live there because of work, it's providing him with a way to hurt and control you and there's a pretty strong chance he will cause further depreciation the longer he stays there meaning you will end up losing even more money if you try to sell further down the line. I'm baffled as to why you're not champing at the bit to sell asap, is it sunk costs fallacy or are you struggling to break that final tie with him? If it's just that you love the house can you realistically see yourself ever being able to live there again? Because if not it makes no sense to hang on just because you have a sentimental attachment, surely you can see that?

Have you made any progress OP ?