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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for more rent from brother & his girlfriend?

21 replies

Honeypie19 · 28/10/2019 15:30

my brother moved in with myself and ds 2 months ago while he completes on a house hes currently buying ( current owners are in a chain and waiting for everything in place - brother had to give notice on his flat or renew for 12 more months).

Now he moved in under the condition his gf could stay now and then (for reference I see this as approx once or twice a week).

Queue 2 months later, as nice as they are im getting a little tired of sharing my home, his gf managed to crack the floor tile in the bathroom, she came and told me this and I said as long as its repaired i'm not hugely bothered - what else can I do really? was a little frustrating given she's also managed to completely soak the wood bath panel each time she has a shower to the point its now split and is shedding wood so will also need replacing. they've broken a couch and they never clean up after themselves (dishes are left on the side as they go off to bed each night).

Ive welcomed them in and Im hoping this house sale goes through very very quickly but all he is currently paying me is £25 a week for himself - this alone barely covers anything as my council tax jumped up by almost £50 a month. not to mention im now like there maid in my own home. I cant live in a pigsty so I end up cleaning and getting frustrated with them, db does clean up occasionally but he has really poor eye sight so does as best he can but ill always spot stuff that needs cleaning he wont (drips on floor or food left on worktop for example).

I mentioned to my mum I was going to ask for more and she was outraged that I wont let her little price get away with stuff. for reference my brother is a manager of a government agency, they have the money to eat out almost nightly - no exaggeration id say at a push they eat out 5 nights a week, either takeaways or meals out.

OP posts:
Yambabe · 28/10/2019 15:32

If your mum thinks what he is giving you is adequate then he can go and stay with her instead. Smile

Stephminx · 28/10/2019 15:32

Why did you agree to this in the first place as the jump in council tax alone is costing you ?

Lamentations · 28/10/2019 15:33

You don't need anyone to tell you they're taking the piss out of you. I'd be wary of saying that the rent increase is to cover his GF staying because she'll move in completely if they think it's been paid for.

Majorcollywobble · 28/10/2019 15:36

Can’t believe your Mum is taking his part - Little prince or not !
Of course they need to pay more .
And the girlfriend should be either contributing with money or sharing chores if your brother is inept at these things. Tell your brother you also expect the council charge payment backdated plus the damage to bathroom . It’s only fair !

OurChristmasMiracle · 28/10/2019 15:38

I’d be pointing out to your mum that it’s costing you more than £100 a month to allow him to shai so why should you not only be inconvenienced but also out of pocket too?

Floralnomad · 28/10/2019 15:38

Tell him the rent is increasing or he can go back and live with mummy .

FriedasCarLoad · 28/10/2019 15:39

I think you need to explain all this to them and suggest you’re happy to continue if:

  1. the wooden panel is replaced
  2. the sofa is replaced
  3. they pay for a cleaner, so that the extra time you spend on daily doing spot cleaning your brother can’t see is compensated for by less overall cleaning.
WomensRightsAreContraversial · 28/10/2019 15:46

TALK to your brother. Tell him you will need more rent from him, and set some rules for how many nights on average you expect his girlfriend to be in your home. More than you expected = you need more rent and they need to pull their weight. Tell him they need to prioritise making good any breakage like the tile, sofa and bath panel pronto, remind him this is your home and the arrangement needs to work for you as well as them. Tell him you expect washing to to be done on the same day, and that if you continue to need to clean after them they will need to pay for a cleaner.

WomensRightsAreContraversial · 28/10/2019 15:48

And it's nothing to do with your mother - if she complains tell her to have him.

gwackywacky · 28/10/2019 15:51

I wouldn't even be upping his rent I'd be getting them out. Like now. Why can't he live with his girlfriend? He has money, he can lodge with someone

Medee · 28/10/2019 15:52

Tell him to get an AirBnB until the property purchase completes.

Jaxhog · 28/10/2019 15:54

Make a list of what he has to do in order to stay (including more money to at least cover your additional costs and paying for damages). Give him the choice to go or stay.

Honeypie19 · 28/10/2019 15:55

The council tax thing was a shock - i've always paid reduced single persons amount, when he moved in it was going to be for 4 weeks, the first I knew was a letter to say single persons had been revoked and they increased it from £81 to £127 a month. I told him and he said he'd cover this - so I believe he thinks his £100 contribution a month covers this plus the increase in bills etc.

Truth be told my brother is fine on his own and does help out, hell often babysit ds if I need to go out or he'll buy or make us tea now and then, I just feel the gf is very lazy and never offers anything which bugs me.

OP posts:
Winterdaysarehere · 28/10/2019 15:55

Ask your dm what time is convenient for him to move in with her?

BlingLoving · 28/10/2019 16:08

Aaaah, the brother who thinks he's a prince. I have one of those.

You should talk to him. tell him that he needs to be prepared to cover ALL costs that him staying with you incurs (including increase in gas, electric, council tax etc as well as out of pocket expenses such as broken things etc). Also that as he's an adult, as is his GF, that they need to contribute to the house by doing their fair share of washing up, tidying, cooking, shopping etc. Explain that you are not going to be doing it for them and highlight that from now on you expect their dishes etc to be washed up before bed and for them to either take on set tasks within the house on an ongoing basis or that you create a roster of such chores - vacuuming, bins, cleaning etc.

It's one thing to stay for a few weeks but this is ongoing and they need to step up.

Good luck.

Bumblebee1115 · 28/10/2019 16:12

They should definitely be paying more, if he earns it, he should help you out. You didn’t have to take him in! Why couldn’t your mum have him there?

Bravely · 28/10/2019 16:21

You must charge proper rent you would any other lodger. And he needs behave more like a lodger. Otherwise he will have no motivation to move out and whole situation with entitlement will get just get worst and it will sour your relationship. He should have enough pride not to live off his family.

Cherrysoup · 28/10/2019 16:25

Sit him down, tell him how much extra he’s costing you. Tell him you don’t want to see the gf more than twice a week and remind him she’s broken a floor tile (how the hell do you do that? I’ve managed not to break any in 15 years and I’m forever dropping stuff) and the wood panel, both of which need replacing properly and she must pay for them. Stop letting him get away with this shit and leaving your place in a mess!

happywifi99 · 28/10/2019 16:54

You can't be paying for him to live with you when it was a favour to him to let him stay in the first place. It's completely unfair on you. Particularly if you're going to have to replace things he and his gf have broken, that would be the final straw for me tbh. I'd tell them to either replace them now or move out tomorrow

BeanBag7 · 28/10/2019 17:01

Why did you agree to only £25 per week? Surely that was never going to be enough, even without the increased council tax. He should definitely be paying more - how much rent was he paying in his previous home?

How often does the girlfriend stay over? If it's more than once a week she should be paying you rent as well as she will also be contributing to increased bills.

Talk to them both. Explain that the £25 per week isnt even covering your increased costs so it will need to be increased to £50 per week per person from next week. They arent paying rent anywhere else so that should be easy to afford.

Zebraaa · 28/10/2019 17:36

No excuses and doesn’t justify breaking the tile or the wood panel.... but I personally feel uncomfortable tidying up in my partners place or doing more stuff, incase he feels I’m trying to take over and move in. Maybe she doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes and that’s why she doesn’t get involved with the cleaning?
But I also don’t stay there every night so...

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