Drop and run at parties..

[pennyhasdropped]

What's your thoughts on this .. planning a Halloween Birthday Party this is a big affair and intended for children and parents to keep out the cold and enjoy some fun. It's about 30/40 children and I have said siblings are welcome but need to confirm for numbers.. age range 5/8 yr olds. Why do some parents see it as an opportunity to drop and run?! Those that have replied stating this I have advised that because of the size of the party it's preferable for parents to stay with their children AIBU?

Invites addressed to 'name' and family stipulated on the invite it was preferable if parents could stay. Same CF if I'm honest as last year.. some have embraced it and will all be coming dressed and so on. Happy if they'd prefer to go trick or treating. It's in a old chapel - pretty spooky but caters well as a venue for a Halloween party ( no church halls will let me have a Halloween themed birthday party).

Never mind I have been clear enough let's see what happens Thursday

I originally read your post as a kids birthday party but you want parents to stay.

Now I'm wondering if you were hoping for a big party for kids and adults together and not just a kids birthday party.

If you sent me an invite for a kids birthday party I would not stay.

If you sent me an invite for a kids and adults party that would be a bit different. It's nice of you to want to be sociable but I'm not a very sociable person really so we all might not come.

If it's on actual Halloween we wouldn't want to come because the kids would want to be out trailing round the streets for sweets, then opening the door for people at our house. It's just one of those days when there is too much going on for anyone to commit to a whole evening at someone else's house.

You sound like a very generous host OP, but unless we were close family friends, my life is too busy to stay and help you supervise your DC's birthday party. So I'd thank you but decline, if I had to dress up like a witch and play Halloween games too.

I wouldn't assume parents would stay for a 5-8yo party - in fact I'd assume parents would be a burden and no one would want an extra load of adults to feed.
I certainly wouldn't want to go to a large kids party unless I was good friends with the hosts.

I’m hosting DD’s 6th birthday party at our house in a few weeks. I really hope parents don’t plan to stay! I probably should have put ‘drop and run’ on the invitations 😬

One mum I know stays with her yr4 child still, there appears to be no reason why, SN or anything, child does hobbies and mum waits in car or lobby also when they’re doing them. They’re an only child so maybe that’s why as no other kids to consider. Everyone else left kids by year 2 I think. From my experience, kids like to be left to do their thing and not have mum or dad cramping their style.

Also it seems you’re kind of expecting adults to come fully embracing the theme having dressed up etc unfortunately for a school night this is a lot to expect I think

Ok I'm clearly the party mum who embraces the fact that her child's birthday is on Halloween which I particularly like and I am not part of a pagan cult. We live quite rural so trailing the fields isn't an option hence why we do have this big affair.. never been a fan of knocking on doors asking for sweets and we'd have to do so in the car to find other houses. I shall salute those parents who've embraced the family friendly theme and sweetly smile at those who are far to busy for such nonsense.

I live in a city so maybe I’ve a different perspective as there’s all sorts going on from last weekend to next for Halloween, parties, spooky days in the park etc, I don’t think it’s nonsense at all I would love a Halloween bday, I just know people have SO MUCH on these days I can see most people thinking it’s a bit out of reach.

i much prefer the drop and run because then you dont have 60 sets of parent eyes watching you run round like a blue arsed fly! plus i think children behave better for me when its just me. weve had full class parties and, on average, 10 parents stay. which is great as it means you have help and extra eyes but not too many. also i like to hand round a sandwich plate or crisps or some form of food, and this limits the amount i have to purchase.

@quickentheprocess I know what you mean re behaving better. A lot of kids are different around parents and happier to muck in and have fun without them there

Ages 6-8 I’d expect all the parents to drop and run, possibly for age 5 too. Ime most hosts actually want the parents to leave as they don’t have room for each parent for every child and don’t want to have to cater for them either

I know you're saying you think it's very cheeky to drop and run but on the flip side many people will think it very cheeky to arrange a party and then expect other parents to help you run it.

Because maybe they have other children? I stopped staying after year 1
If invite said you'd prefer parents to stay then I would try but you haven't said they have to stay. I spend my life taking dc to activities so sometimes I can't stay. For parties I've always arranged with key parents who are friends for them to stay and anyone else is welcome but not necessary so I find your set up in unusual.

To be honest, it wouldn't occur to me that someone would plan a party for so many children, without making sure they had enough adults to help them.

@isabellerossignol
I know you're saying you think it's very cheeky to drop and run but on the flip side many people will think it very cheeky to arrange a party and then expect other parents to help you run it.

This, with knobs on...

At no point have I said I'm asking them to help me run it. I have a DJ and entertainment booked and Halloween party games planned which is all covered. What I am getting at is it's the usual CF's who do it .. and include siblings so drop both kids then feck off! anyway those that have tried that card previously are the usual suspects and can be found in the pub round the corner like last year I'm guessing - a minority granted. I've obviously got it all very wrong on the family friendly theme and shall consider a very different option next year. Fortunately enough good friends and parents are pitching helping to decorate the venue on the day - they volunteered .. before you ask. 🙄

How did you phrase the invite ? If it was to ‘DC name’ then I would assume drop and run , like for all other parties here from year 1 upwards. I have 2 other DC to look after/entertain. If the invite said to ‘DC name and family’ I would stay , with my two other DC and would have let you know this so you could cater accordingly.

Just seen on pp it was to ‘name’ and parents to stay. Did you clarify about siblings? I wouldn’t stay with siblings unless explicitly told I could

If I was good friends with the hosts I would stay at the party, otherwise I would drop and run. My dc would run off with their friends and I would feel like a lemon dressed up around people I don't know well. Also like pp I have other DC outside of that age group to entertain and tbh I have better things to do on Halloween night than hang out at a kids party.

It does sound like a great party though.

Eye-opening. My two are too little for parties just yet, but I didn't think I'd leave a five year old at a party if I didn't know the parents. Like most things however, I imagine that reality will be different and I will be dropping and running like the rest when it's our turn.

What I am getting at is it's the usual CF's who do it..and include siblings so drop both kids then feck off! anyway those that have tried that card previously are the usual suspects and can be found in the pub round the corner like last year I'm guessing - a minority granted.

Dropping uninvited siblings off is beyond cheeky.

But dropping your child off at the party they've been invited to, is completely normal, even if the parent does choose to relax in the pub during their free time.

You've sent a birthday invitation to a recipient child, not the whole family, who is well within the 'drop and run' age, but you think parents that will be doing just that, utterly normal practice, are CFs? Okay...

I think I would be that parent - I find it awkward to mingle and make small talk with people - am so glad that kids are now old enough for drop and run. So its nice you are doing a party - but that doesn't mean I want to get dressed up and go to a halloween party because my its my kids friends birthday. Happy to help the kids get costumed up and either take them trick or treating or to your party, but I really wouldn't want to have to join in (plus games, and all that...)
The nearby pub, or my car, or my house where I can stick my nose in my kindle sound perfect! Sorry - if you don't like that then no need to invite us in the future - I'll just take them trick or treating...