When did your DC grow out of trick or treating?

[BillHadersNewWife]

Please...please no snide comments about how your DC never have because it's "begging" or whatever! Both my DDs have loved it for years...now the youngest has decided to hang up her treat bag aged 11.

The older DD is also not doing it this year...but she's 15 and that's normal. Is 11 quite young to stop? I don't mind...it's up to her..but part of me worries she might think "Oh I should have gone!" when we're answering the door to all the kids...but that in itself might be fun mightn't it?

*I think the general consensus is that Primary age is OK, but Secondary age 11/12+ is too old.

No it isn't confused. Quite a few posters have said their older kids still go and it's fine. That's just what you and some others think. Not a general consensus.*

It may not be the consensus of a few selfish parents of teens, but in the real world, it really is.

Some people on here are explaining that they find teens in scary costumes intimidating, so why would anyone let them go? Selfish much?

If your teens want to dress up, celebrate Halloween and eat sweets, that's fine. Let them have a party at home. Don't let your teens do something that intimidates some (not all) people. One person intimidated or scared is one person too many.

If I had teens coming round T or T, I'd stop participating - ruining it for everyone.

Secondary school children have had their turn already. Don't ruin it for everyone else.

It may not be the consensus of a few selfish parents of teens, but in the real world, it really is

Hmm, I live in the very Real World of West London and loads of teens still do it and it's a really lovely atmosphere round our area. Decorated houses, pumpkins outside the homes that are joining in. Adults in costumes too. We saw almost all of DD's year 6 class last year - they're now year 8. Do you honestly believe you speak for everyone or even the majority? How arrogant and not particularly self aware.

Hmm, I live in the very Real World of West London and loads of teens still do it and it's a really lovely atmosphere round our area. Decorated houses, pumpkins outside the homes that are joining in. Adults in costumes too. We saw almost all of DD's year 6 class last year - they're now year 8. Do you honestly believe you speak for everyone or even the majority? How arrogant and not particularly self aware.

How many people have to tell you they are intimated by teens T or Ting for you to moderate your behaviour?

I am not saying that everyone is intimidated by teens T or T, I am saying that some people are. I am. Are you going to tell me I'm not? How arrogant!

How many people have to be scared before you stop? Or do you just not care - as long as your teens get to do what they want.

Personally, I consider ONE person intimidated in their own home is one too many.

If teens keep coming instead of littlies, I will no longer participate. This mean the younger children miss out.

When its so easy to offer a suitable alternative - a small Halloween party, buying your own sweets, teens handing out to the littlies, why continue to do something that will absolutely be upsetting some people in your community? That will lead to less people participating.

Your children have had 11/12 years to trick or treat as youngsters. Now is time for someone else to have their turn.

Arnold. The word guising is not unique to Scotland 😂😂😂😂 Still stand by what I said if they are old enough to go unsupervised they are to old to go. Allowing unsupervised 6 year olds is just asking for something horrific to happen 😠

Ds is 13 and never went out last year so 11 would have been his last year. Dd was sent out with him so would have been 13/14 at the time

Primary school age. Once they get to secondary I think it's time to stop.

How many people have to tell you they are intimated by teens T or Ting for you to moderate your behaviour?

Well certainly not just the one or two on this thread that's for sure . MN, thankfully is NOT the real world and your heightened demands that teenagers need to STOP because they're terrorising everyone they meet is frankly ridiculous and does not reflect at all what I see in RL. I'd be the po faced misery guts round here if I said no. I'd stand out and my kids wouldn't get why I had taken this stance. They see their friends when we go I see my friends, the local pub does mulled cider and wine on stalls outside and the staff all dress up. The parents call in there while the kids, of all ages T&T. Sorry I won't be stopping our Halloween socialising because some misery guts on MN tells me I should. You clearly haven't got a clue what goes on outside your own narrow sphere.

Tell me do you do lay down rules for everyone else for Bonfire night, Christmas and other celebrations too? I bet you do don't you?

*Well certainly not just the one or two on this thread that's for sure grin. MN, thankfully is NOT the real world and your heightened demands that teenagers need to STOP because they're terrorising everyone they meet is frankly ridiculous and does not reflect at all what I see in RL. I'd be the po faced misery guts round here if I said no. I'd stand out and my kids wouldn't get why I had taken this stance. They see their friends when we go I see my friends, the local pub does mulled cider and wine on stalls outside and the staff all dress up. The parents call in there while the kids, of all ages T&T. Sorry I won't be stopping our Halloween socialising because some misery guts on MN tells me I should. You clearly haven't got a clue what goes on outside your own narrow sphere.

Tell me do you do lay down rules for everyone else for Bonfire night, Christmas and other celebrations too? I bet you do don't you? grin*

So basically I'm alright, Jack - fuck everyone else! Nice.

I don't lay down rules for anyone. I've just brought my children up to be considerate, and am saddened by how many children are being brought up with the aforementioned "I'm alright, Jack" attitude.

I'll bet once your children stop T or Ting, you'll stop putting out sweets too...

I think it's a bit common to do it once they are teens, it's intimidating having a big group of teens grabbing at sweets with their adult size hands.

I would agree that about 11 is the right time to stop, unless it's a 14 year old taking younger siblings just round their local road.

The difference with Christmas is that how you celebrate dosent negatively affect other people. Teenagers knocking on strangers doors often does negatively affect them esp if they are old or suffer from anxiety.

They seem to stop around secondary school age here.

Hmm I wonder if a sign or something would work? Saying something along the lines of “please don’t knock for sweets if you’re 12 years or older”

Hmm I wonder if a sign or something would work? Saying something along the lines of “please don’t knock for sweets if you’re 12 years or older”

Sadly the kind of entitled children who haven't worked out why its no longer OK to T or T once they're 12 aren't the type to take notice of a sign :(

"A significant number of them barely look as though they should be out of year 4 even, especially the boys at her partner schools. Lots of them are minute, shooting up towards the end of year 8."

I agree! There is not a chance that an adult could be intimidated by my 11yo and her peers any more than they would be by a group of 9yos.

So many people are ignoring local context here anyway. I have put out sweets for years (well before DC's, and will continue to after they've stopped t or treating, because funnily enough some of us take part in and enjoy community activities whether or not we have relevant-aged kids). We have a well established local system of pumpkins out for participating households and everyone has a great time. The max age we've had is about 13/14. I'm not intimidated because they play by the rules and they are clearly having as much fun as the 6yos! That might not work in your area, but I reserve the right to call someone a joyless misery guts if they object to how we do it around our way.

Exactly mrsm43s. I refuse to answer door after 8pm. All the kids with adults have usually stopped around that time and it's just teenagers chancing it.

Final year of primary school

I think when I was 12 my mum told me it was inappropriate to keep going. She felt that groups of teens were intimidating and antisocial, rather than cute and friendly. I get her point and would probably discourage my own DCs from going once in secondary school.

The only time I had an older girl (teenager 14/15) knock at the door, and that was years ago because it's not really 'done' where I live- that may have been the only year that anyone called actually - she was chaparoning a little sister and made it quite clear that she was only calling because of her sister, not because she wanted to :-).

I agree with pp that it depends on the group as a whole - a teen can get away with it if they're with a younger sibling IMO.

OP - that might be why DD2 is stopping younger than DD1 did.

Our community has a system of pumpkins out aswell. That means age appropriate kids under supervision can call not unsupervised teenagers. People who want to participate still find groups of teenagers intimidating. Also large groups of teenagers tend not to play by the rules which is why Halloween is a headache for the local police in our area.

I didn't actually set any limits, but my three stopped themselves when they were about 12.

DD3 is 17 now, and planning on going to a friend's Halloween party, but not trick or treating.

My 13 year old will be going with his friends. It’s a big deal where we live and lots of houses decorate. There were even burger/crepe vans last year and the fire engine often turns up handing out sweets :)

I am sure some will think DD is to big but I can’t see the harm. It’s nice they are out having fun and not just on the Xbox. I handed out quite a few treats last year to some teens who were bigger than me and all were very polite.

Oh and they only go to houses with pumpkins or decorations.

Up to 13/14 round here I guess. I'm fine with great big teens in costumes (although at 13 they can still be quite small) and wouldn't mind if they were 16 as long as they have made an effort. I bloody love Halloween though and miss trick or treating myself so I get dressed up to hand out sweets.

@thatguiltyfeeling If an adult with a 6 month old baby came, they'd be getting a plain biscuit... If 15/16yr olds came they'd be getting the door closed on them....