Hello,
First time poster here, a bit of a long one so I’ll try to keep it short!
Backstory - Me and my bf have been together 5 years. When we met, I lived in a mortgaged property and he moved in officially after a year (although he spent a lot of time at mine in that first year so was basically living with me). We were both working, I had a pretty decent job and he earned significantly more than me (and still lived at home with parents). I paid the mortgage and bills at mine as it was my home and we were just bf and gf. He did pay for groceries though and if something needed to be repaired he would always help out eg got a new washing machine when mine broke down. We have our ups and downs like normal couples but nothing out of the ordinary and I believe we 100% trust each other. We were ttc and had detailed discussions about what would happen prior to getting pregnant. We talked about marriage but no proposal yet. The plan was for him to buy a house for all of us to live there and to rent out my property so the rental income will pay my mortgage as I will not be working after giving birth (I am a contractor so no job to go back to). He agreed to support us financially when we got pregnant . We also planned to get married after house and kids as we both felt the money would be better going towards another property first. Fast forward, our LO was born earlier this year and we also moved into our new home around the same time. The rental income I get pays my mortgage at the old place plus more for spending (BF does not provide financially for anything extra eg spending money although to be fair I’ve never asked or needed it as I have always had my own money to spend). He pays the mortgage and bills at our new home (which is in his name only - I have no problems with this btw as I have a property in my own name and we planned on being married one day so it made no difference to me). He also pays for majority of groceries as I am not working and currently sahm. I pay for groceries sometimes, usually if I’m shopping alone and I also pay for LO clothes and toys. I also pay for the odd takeaway as a treat on those days we are too lazy to cook or think about what to eat. We have never calculated who spends more.
Anyway, since having LO I find we have been bickering a lot over the most petty things, nothing worth breaking up over but it’s so tiring when it’s added up and I feel like I’m going insane. He does help a lot with our dc when he’s not working but I do majority of childcare as I am a sahm. I think we have a pretty good set up and have no complaints in that department but I can’t get over how silly the arguments get and it’s becoming so exhausting. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even like me anymore but never wants to talk about it and seems fine after an hour or once he’s cooled off. I just can’t shrug it off as easily as him and a lot crosses my mind such as breaking up etc. We haven’t been intimate since LO was born - I think breastfeeding may be causing my lack of sex drive but BF is not pressuring me which kinda makes me feel bad. I just don’t know what to do as everything else is great, it’s just the petty arguments which he refuses to talk about. I hate feeling this way, it’s really getting me down. Every conversation nearly always ends in an argument and he always gets on the defensive as soon as I say anything. It’s getting to the point of not even wanting to speak to him about anything. I feel the spark has gone. Am I overreacting in wanting to leave? Can our relationship improve once LO is weaned off the breast? I don’t have any family around to support me so even if I decided to leave, I don’t really know what my options are... I really need a hug right now, feeling really stressed. sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.