I guess I’m in shock but also wanting to gage
- how seriously I take this
- how to go forward
I should say that we separating anyway. However we are kind of stuck living together. I know this is a dead end relationship. DP said he wanted out, we tried counseling, had a period of the relationship being a lot better, then DP out of the blue ended it again. Then he moaned to his family who have scapegoated me. I’m living in DPs house - gave up career to look after special needs child.
I’m totally stuck. Waiting to move next year with families help 100 miles away. Can’t until then for lots of reasons. We had a kind of equilibrium until then, where we were putting our son first, co parenting, big house so separate bedrooms and DP works long hours so relatively easy to have space.
Thought I could last until next year however DP has totally blown up today. It was over the fact that his family see less of DS, as DS has loads of activities and I no longer take them to ILs house, as they were vile to me. However have made it clear that they are welcome at our house as at least they don’t bitch about me in front of him and I can be there so they don’t put DSs at risk (they have no idea about his vulnerabilities).
Anyway, DP suddenly states out of nowhere that he is going to start regularly taking DS to his family and I’m not welcome, that I just have to stick it, that I’m controlling, that I did such and such and started screaming at me. I said that I was worried that was unhealthy for DS as they hate me but welcome in the house, but anyway said why was he screaming I’d done nothing wrong. He would not stop shouting and DS was upset and ran into his room so I went in DS room and shut the door, and he came in after me and screamed right in my face, really terrifyingly angry, for 10 minutes. I’d never seen him so angry ever. It really scared me.
I packed a bag, left, then asked for DS and was going to a friends but he said he’d leave the house for this week so I’ve come back. He hasn’t apologised and says I must think on why he was so angry.
I worried. Really worried. A while ago I phoned women’s aid and we kind of agreed there was some financial abuse as he keeps threatening to restrict access to money.
I think that I probably need to move out with DS however I don’t know where to go. I also don’t know how seriously to take this. He has never been physically threatening. He was pretty happy this week. We exchanged solicitor details a while ago and I worry that the closer the actual separation comes the more tricky it will be. He will not want me to go to live with my family.