To think this is a reasonable gift?

[AndroidB]

I got my cousin a coin purse for her birthday, rrp was 10 pounds, but I got it for 5 pounds in a sale. Cousin is soon to be 17 and I'm in my early 30's. Obviously she doesn't send me anything for my birthday but neither does her mother, my aunt, for my birthday. My aunt also only occasionally sends me a card and has never sent my partner a card in the 10 years we have been together. Also I'm never invited to her birthday meal, but other family members are always invited. Is this a reasonable present/ amount to spend? Or am I being tight?

That sounds nice but I'd put some money in it as when you give purses they need to have a coin in it for luck.

Why doesn't she send you anything? I've always got my aunt and unclea presents, otherwise i would never expect anything from them

Cousin is 17 so doesn't send me anything. I stoppwd sending my aunt gifts for her birthday because I got fed up of receiving nothing, sometimes not even a card in return.

Why on earth are you concerned about the gift? They can't demand anything from you as they don't even bother with cards for you.

I don't buy for any of mine or dhs cousins. Aunt sends to me and my mum sends to cousins, all equal.
I'd stop if I were you.

Well personally I wouldn't give her anything in this situation.

What’s the point of such a meaningless present?

It’s not something she wants, you don’t receive gifts from her and aren’t included in celebrations.

The gift is entirely unnecessary but also not an especially nice or thoughtful present.

I give presents because I want to and I want the person to like them, not to meet some perceived obligation.

Its a lovely gift, but I have always been brought up never to give an empty purse or bag, even its just some coins . Nothing much even a charity pin .
Its horrid that you have been always excluded from birthday meal.

Personally I’d not bother getting her anything. Keep it for yourself or give to someone else.

I'm not sure why your bothered, they never get you anything so the fact you do is very nice.

Cousins don't exchange gifts in my family. Gifts to nieces and nephews stop after 21 and as an auntie I'm lucky if I receive a card let alone a gift. I have given gifts to one single childless aunt as otherwise she would have got nothing. Otherwise cousins, Aunts, Uncles all just get a card.

A coin purse is acceptable as a token gift, although I'd also put a fiver in as you shouldn't give an empty purse according to the old tales lol.

Don't send anything. A card will suffice.

I have never bought gifts for cousins, aunts/uncles. I wouldn't bother especially as it's never reciprocated. However if you desperately feel the need to give her a gift, then the purse is fine.

Also I'd never even think I was expected to send birthday cards to my nieces and nephews boyfriends and girlfriends or one day partners/husbands/wives. I don't think you can be too annoyed at your Aunt for missing your partner's birthday as I don't think it's generally the done thing to buy gifts and presents for them.

Just send a card. She's 17, old enough for a part time job, and her parents have never reciprocated. Give it up (and keep the purse!)

That should have read gifts and cards!

If you always send her a card and gift I’d send the purse with £5 in it, and I’d knock her off my present buying list after her 18th birthday next year.

I wouldn't get her anything tbh. It wouldn't occur to me to buy a gift for any of my cousins unless I was attending a significant birthday event. DH is close to his cousins and we see them a lot, but still wouldn't routinely buy for them (though we do Christmas presents for their children).

I wouldn't bother giving her anything. Only time I ever give to aunts/uncles/cousins is if I'm invited to a party or something. To be fair I'd be looking at 5 cousins on my mums side alone!

If you’ve always given her a present I’d suggest you stop after next year when she’s an adult. And a purse sounds lovely.

I'd stick a fiver in it and stop all presents from next year when she is an adult.

From what you’ve said I wouldn’t bother sending anything, you’re not involved in the celebrations and her family don’t send you anything, I doubt she’ll even notice to be honest.

Also, I’m not sure a coin purse is a great gift for a 17 year old, it will probably end up in the back of a drawer or something.

You're a nicer person than I am op. I wouldn't give her anything if I didn't get a gift on my birthday.I am petty.

I’m mid 20’s and only buy for the kids of family members who buy me gifts.

As in, if anyone buys me/DH gifts I buy them/ their children gifts.

My aunt/uncle and cousin/wife both send us gifts so I send them one and their children one.
My other cousin/husband (late 30’s early 40’s) still get included on my aunts card/gift 🤔 so I don’t bother buying for them or their 3 children! Just send Aunty something.

Honestly stop buying for them!

Does she thank you for her presents?

If not I wouldn’t bother giving her anything. A card will suffice. And one for her 18th with £18 if you want to give a gift. Or not if you don’t, and then stop. If you see her before her 21st give her a card for that one too it not if you aren’t in touch. Nothing no card or anything for 19th or 20th.