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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why won't he let me have 'my night'?

4 replies

TwistedBirkenstockBlister · 26/10/2019 23:37

Tonight was my cousins engagement party. I had planned to have a few drinks as my mum was driving and MiL was having the kids for a few hours. My cousin is also the relative closest in age to me and I've been up to stay with her in London so it was more social to me than, say, Easter Sunday lunch at grandmas. DP came too and had already had two pints by the time we got there.
He had drank five before the food was served and then started on wine. I had two glasses of wine and then switched to soft drinks.
This is a common theme of nearly all our social occasions, his overindulgence makes me not want to loosen up and makes me feel anxious.
When we got back our Dd had a temperature and was drenched in sweat. She woke up and puked everywhere, dp was looking for the blooming rugby highlights on catch up!
I just feel like I'm always supposed to be the sensible one. It's not a role I've chosen but I have to take that role on otherwise it would be chaos. What is we were both twatted and dd was sick or ds woke up in the night? If it's his family thing I usually drive and I let him stay even if I go on back. He doesn't drive so can't offer that but also never offers to not get so pissed that he can't look after children. What can I do to make him see?

OP posts:
Weenurse · 26/10/2019 23:43

Get him some driving lessons for a start.
We have a ‘my family, I drink, his family, he drinks’.
It used to be your situation as he always said’well you don’t drink much’.
When I sat him down to explain that I didn’t drink because he always got plastered and someone had to look after the DC. Did he think it was fair that it was always me?
That is when things changed.
Good luck

TwistedBirkenstockBlister · 26/10/2019 23:48

Thanks @Weenurse that's exactly it, just because I don't drink much, maybe it would be nice to just come home and he could deal with puking child for a change!

OP posts:
cstaff · 27/10/2019 00:14

While you might not drink as much as your dh it would be great to have the option and know that you could trust him to look after the kids or you if need be. I think you have to explain this to him.

AwkwardFucker · 27/10/2019 00:20

Oh wow. Whenever we go out DH always asks “would you like to drink tonight?” And if I say yes will only have one and be the responsible one. Most of the time I say no, but he always offers.

Tell your DH from now on you are taking turns. End of.

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