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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave my 14yr old alone in a travelodge?

66 replies

beingchampion · 26/10/2019 22:46

For a few hours tomorrow while I drive 25 miles away down the M1 for a couple of hours. He's very sane and sensible and would rather stay in the warm and dry on his tablet. Is it the done thing or should he come with me? Will stick do not disturb on the door and he'll have food, money and phone, but nowhere to go. Do I tell reception?

OP posts:

SpookilyBadOooooooh · 27/10/2019 00:09

@Howisitparentseveningagain

It’s got so bloody ridiculous around here lately I thought you were serious at first!

🤣🤣

Of course he’ll be fine if he’d rather stay, 14 yo here is too bloody nosy to be left behind 🙄🤣

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 27/10/2019 00:14

Me and my brother once went on a short break with our dad when he was working up north. He left us all day (me 15, brother 12) whilst he went to work one day (took us out the day after). we survived

rainbowunicorn · 27/10/2019 00:19

@Potentialmadcatlady did you actually tell reception that your room needed special assistance for a 16 year old? I am gobsmacked by that.
My son was booking his own hotel rooms when going to gigs etc at the age of 16.

Leeds2 · 27/10/2019 00:34

Another one saying that he will be absolutely fine. Put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, so that Housekeeping don't disturb him. And make sure he has his own room key in case he has to leave the room (he most probably won't).

57Varieties · 27/10/2019 00:36

14? Yeah. iPad, drinks and snacks and my son would be like a pig in shit!

Mulhollandmagoo · 27/10/2019 01:05

Leave him with the TV remote, his phone and snacks all within arm's reach and he'll be absolutely fine!!!

With regards to the pp who mentioned telling reception in case of a fire he will need assistance, he definitely doesn't! I imagine that your son will know exactly what to do if the fire alarm goes off and other people in the hotel may need that extra assistance much more than he does

Potentialmadcatlady · 27/10/2019 06:09

Yes I did. They asked I agreed. And for everyone’s info my son has ASD. Not all 16year old or 14year olds are the same. I was trying to be helpful to op. I won’t bother in future

Marnie76 · 27/10/2019 06:21

#potentialmadcatlady but you didn’t mention that you son had ASD in your previous post. That makes a big difference and yours and the OP circumstances are not the same. No one would have commented negatively to your post if you had explained that

AppropriateAdult · 27/10/2019 06:26

I’d happily leave him at that age if he’s generally sensible, but I wouldn’t tell reception - they may not allow it.

5zeds · 27/10/2019 07:07

I’m not sure why anyone would think the support needs of a child with autism were the same in the event of a fire alarm as those of a neurotypical child . I’m also aghast that a parent would think it ok to leave their disabled teen in a hotel and that the receptionist would take responsibility for that situation. It sounds thoroughly unsafe for all sorts of reasons.

In OPs case I think the child will be fine but the hotel won’t like it. I would crack on but not mention it.

Lizzie0869 · 27/10/2019 07:23

Oh, that drip feed changes what I think about this, OP. If your teenager is autistic, you certainly shouldn't think of leaving him! It's very unfair on the premier inn staff.

Lizzie0869 · 27/10/2019 07:29

Actually, I think I just missed the bit about the teen being disabled, it wasn't necessarily a drip feed, that was unfair. You know your DS, maybe he would be fine. But the hotel staff certainly wouldn't like it.

5zeds · 27/10/2019 07:31

I don’t think OPs child is autistic @Lizzie0869 a pp poster said she wouldn’t leave her 16 year old without informing reception, when people suggested that was unusual she got upset and said he was autistic. As far as we know OPs son is your average don’t-want-to-go teenager.

Oblomov19 · 27/10/2019 07:33

He'll be fine.

surreysnapper · 27/10/2019 07:34

I wouldnt

Gladiator20 · 27/10/2019 07:38

14 year old is not allowed to stay alone without an adult supervision. If you speak to a reception they will tell you exactly the same.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/10/2019 07:40

God no! Yes he would probably be fine, there are lots of situations where our kids would “probably be fine”
But we don’t do them incase of that small percentage chance something happens:
a fire alarm, a screaming drunk banging on the wrong door etc.

Roselilly36 · 27/10/2019 07:45

Assuming you mean during the day, I would be happy to leave a sensible 14 year old alone for a few hours with everything he/she needs, with the proviso that the door isn’t opened to anyone whilst I was gone.

homeworkery · 27/10/2019 07:49

@Lizzie0869 you pissed? And I seriously doubt the premier inn staff give a shit what's going on at travelodge

He's 14 people. Probably been travelling successfully across town to school and using public transport etc for the last 3 years. He's going to sit in a room for a couple of hours on his iPad and it won't burn down and no "screaming drunks" will bang on his door

Don't bother telling reception OP. Special assistance in case of a fire made me chuckle. The staff will follow the policy and procedures for fire regardless of any 14 or 16 year old, autism or no autism.

MN is fucking bizarre

Lizzie0869 · 27/10/2019 07:53

@5zeds okay, sorry, yes I realise it now. I got the wrong end of the stick. In that case, my earlier comment stands. You should then just crack on. 14 year olds are quite able to cope with being alone in a premier inn room. At 14 I would have loved that. Just don't tell the hotel staff.

Lizzie0869 · 27/10/2019 07:55

I mean, don't tell them his age. As we've been told about premier inn regulations. That's all I meant there.

LynetteScavo · 27/10/2019 08:07

Could he cope if the fire alarm went off? If yes, then he'll be fine.

Would anyone know where he was if you were involved in an accident in the motorway, and would he know what to do if you didn't come back?

homeworkery · 27/10/2019 08:17

Aaargh Lizzie it's the bloody travelodge. Will you stop banging on about the premier inn

Ponoka7 · 27/10/2019 08:18

@Lizzie0869, a 16 year old young person with Autism is a lot less hassle for the staff than a 14 year old, in the event of room evacuation.

The hotel would have to call the Police because they cannot take charge of a minor. The 16 year old would be given somewhere quiet to sit and wait.

I was left in hotel rooms quite young, as a lot of us were, in the 70's. It's not that different than being holed up all day in your bedroom.

OP you can't tell anyone because it isn't allowed. Tell him if he leaves the room he also can't tell anyone that you've gone far, if he is locked out etc.

Marnie76 · 27/10/2019 08:19

I assume they’d phone his mobile and if she didn’t come back, he’d use that mobile to phone her or someone to check what was going on. He’s 14, he must have been on his own a lot surely. I was babysitting, getting a train, walking places alone at that age. He’s not a baby!

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