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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think he is a con?

34 replies

Muwanain · 26/10/2019 20:08

-Name changed

I recently started dating what I thought was a lovely guy - about 2 months now.

His house is full of books - more than 250
But about a week ago, he told me he's not read a single, in fact he googles summaries.

On the other side, I think this is petty, as he actually finds it laughable and claims everyone who knows him, knows he's not read any of them.

My thoughts are that he has no reason to buy so many books if there is no intention to read them.

AIBU to end it. I am turned off by a man who has no reason to deceive but does anyway.

OP posts:
FelixFelicis6 · 26/10/2019 20:10

So does he buy them to make people think he’s clever?

gwackywacky · 26/10/2019 20:10

Sounds like a total wanker. Bin. Next!

namechange4052 · 26/10/2019 20:13

What a fucking superficial wanker.

Spied · 26/10/2019 20:13

I think he was joking and you've taken it seriously.

TabithasMumCaroline · 26/10/2019 20:15

It’s not unknown for interior designers to purchase books for specific looks. It’s weird. My house is stuffed to the rafters with books that I am attached to.
People are weird.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/10/2019 20:16

You want to finish because he hasn’t read his books.Confused.
The finishing with him. Fine none of my beeswax, but It’s the reason I’m baffled by

undeadmedicstudentmum · 26/10/2019 20:16

Maybe he's joking, as someone else suggested? If he's serious, urgh bin!!

Original poster
Muwanain · 26/10/2019 20:16

So does he buy them to make people think he’s clever? I suspect mainly himself.

Though he did not claim to have read them, that's the assumption I formed and pursued it further. But I doubt I could sustain a relationship if he does not read.

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 26/10/2019 20:16

How is he deceiving anyone? Everyone he knows is aware of this. It’s perfectly okay to own books, it doesn’t have to mean you’ve read them.

YABVU and really superficial. Sounds like you’re looking for any old reason to end it.

OnlineShopping · 26/10/2019 20:16

I give more than 250 books to my local charity book shop every year so I don’t think it’s many books at all. If he hasn’t read any of them and isn’t planning on bothering, then I would just assume he is insecure and trying to impress people. I would think more of him for the fact he has been honest about it to you but would still wonder why he needed to bother having them. That said, I’ve always fancied having my own library and I can well imagine having thousands of books in it with many being ones I’ve never read and won’t get round to. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Velveteenfruitbowl · 26/10/2019 20:18

Does he not read at all? That would be a real turn off.

aatwi · 26/10/2019 20:28

He's honest about it and maybe enjoys the look of books but doesn't have time to read them? I'd probably not break up over it. At least not until I'd had the chance to read all the books...

(250 books isn't really that many, is it? Only 2-3 bookcases?)

Original poster
Muwanain · 26/10/2019 20:29

Does he not read at all? That would be a real turn off. Not for leisure.

  1. He keeps up to date with industry material - internet & social media
  2. Current affairs - a night news bulletin type
  3. Pop culture, sports and social media on society - internet
OP posts:
Original poster
Muwanain · 26/10/2019 20:30

Deep down, I know he is not my type

OP posts:
NurseButtercup · 26/10/2019 20:31

I think you should try and have a conversation with him about it so you can make an informed decision.
Did he buy the books with the intention to read them or Did he buy the books purely for decoration?

EmperorBallpitine · 26/10/2019 20:32

Yeah, that would bug me. I couldn't be with someone who didn't like to read or who at least liked books for what they had inside.

Zebraaa · 26/10/2019 20:37

End it if you’re not into him but dont use this as an excuse because it’s really lame.

Hecateh · 26/10/2019 20:38

If you are a reader and (at least) part of the attraction was that he was a reader then definitely no future,

If you're not much of a reader then I don't think it's really important

JavaQ · 26/10/2019 20:49

Hilarious!

send me his phone number

MadameMaxGoesler · 26/10/2019 21:01

250 books is a lot? I have at least 2,500 - and that's with regular culls to the charity shop.

roses2 · 26/10/2019 21:05

I've got a handful of books on my bookcase but have never read them. They were mainly gifted to me. Also I don't have time to read books. I work full time and have two kids. I read newspapers on my way to work, magazines and internet media daily.

If he bought them but never read them then that is weird though.

Original poster
Muwanain · 26/10/2019 21:10

250 books is a lot? if bought for decoration/deceit.
Also I don't have time to read books. I work full time and have two kids.I read newspapers on my way to work, magazines and internet media daily. His thoughts exactly minus the children.

OP posts:
Icecreambaby · 26/10/2019 21:11

I buy lots of books hoping I will find time to read them but hardly manage to. I will be a bit sad if there is possibility that I will be dumped just because I like buying books ...

1Morewineplease · 26/10/2019 21:15

You have clearly registered a red flag in your radar. You might need to have a long think here.
To have 250 books that haven’t been read is suspicious. To have 250 books as a result of interior design is über wanky. Tbh , I’d love to see which books he has as it would be a key indicator. I wouldn’t be impressed and I’d be suspicious.

Andysbestadventure · 26/10/2019 21:15

It wasnt his house he took you to. Or they were all his wife's books or ex's.

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