To ask what is the biggest thing you have forgiven someone for?

[Twitterhandler4]

Can be anything

I have forgiven my friend for sleeping with my then partner.

Blimey that’s quite a big one... I was going to say I forgave my husband for eating my fruit pastilles.

My dad - for lying to me about having terminal cancer and having me believe it for years.

In hindsight, he was in a very dark, troubled, drunken place in his life when he said this I think it spiralled out of control with him not knowing how to get out of the lie.

My sister, for stealing my daughters birthday money, still don't see/ speak to her as I use to or even frequent for that matter but I've let it go and I'm friendly when I see her on the odd occasion! She was young and stupid

My best friend from Uni days 'stole' my boyfriend

They have been happily married for about 18 years now and I consider them both dear friends

I was devastated at the time but with hindsight can see that they are a great match

My mum left my abusive dad and promised to take me with her. Last minute said I had to stay living with 'dad' as she wanted to live alone with just her new boyfriend.

Worst few years of my life in that toxic hell hole.

She's a brilliant grandma now though.

My father for making me passively smoke every cigar he did when I was a child. When he knew and I knew as a child he shouldn’t do it.

I have bad asthma and early COPD (a smokers disease) and I as I type I’m in bed struggling today. I am not yet 40.

When I found out three years ago I let all the anger and rage out at him, but decided not to get bitter and twisted. It will do no good, my family is still reeling from the fallout from my mothers abusive behaviour, alcoholism, and death.

Life is too short for grudges.

My sister assaulted me in front of my then 7 year old daughter who went on to develop anxiety. I forgave her in the belief that she will get her karma one day

Several people for lying to me for years about who my dad was.

My ds for saying some horrific stuff about me. He was very troubled until his bipolar diagnosis..
We have a fabulous relationship now.

My DM for calling me a whore when she found out I was raped at 11... We don't talk now due to viscous lies about my DP, it was the last straw!

My sister. I'm glad I forgave her but I did it not because what she did was forgiveable but because I knew we needed to be sisters as our mother aged and ultimately died. Dh still thinks I am amazing for having forgiven. I wouldn't do it again though - next time she treats me like that, I am gone.

My mum for staying with my abusive dad.

Whatever shit people throw at me, I have forgiven them well, I can rant and rave about it

Cos I love myself.

And no-one is worth fucking yourself up for.

My father who abandoned me after I refused to live with him in a v nasty custody battle, my brother stayed with him. He basically wanted to hurt my mum as threw my brother out after he met a new partner.
He drowned when I was in my 20s, sounds corny but by forgiving it set me free

For sexually abusing me when I was a child.
It ruined most of my teenage years & destroyed what used to be a close family unit.
I realised one day I just couldn't let it eat me up any longer. It was emotionally & mentally killing me, so I found him on social media & messaged him.
The relief I felt is indescribable.
I've since moved on with my life, years later, so much lighter.

I don’t know if I have forgiven the girl who bullied me at school, but I rarely think about it now, so perhaps I have?! I can see now that she was jealous of me, my academic ability, my happy family life, and wanted me to be as miserable as she was. It has made me feel a bit better to find out she is still living in our deprived hometown with 3 DC, doing a poorly paid job, but I suppose that would’ve happened with or without the bullying. That’s just life - I don’t believe in Karma.
Having read on here that people have been able to forgive much worse things, mine sounds rather insignificant.

And no-one is worth fucking yourself up for

Love this.

I’m not a forgiver. I hope they all die roaring, and it doesn’t damage me at all.

@HaveeeeYouMetTed

That is very courageous, generous and empowering

My sister, for stealing my daughters birthday money, still don't see/ speak to her as I use to or even frequent for that matter but I've let it go and I'm friendly when I see her on the odd occasion! She was young and stupid

You don’t sound as if you’ve forgiven her, merely that you tolerate her!

My Mum for childhood emotional and physical abuse. She didn't know any better and had a far worse childhood herself. I still get angry and resentful when I think of some of the stuff she's said and done but ultimately I love her and prefer her in my life than out of it.

I don't forgive anyone else for anything though. I don't harp on about it but it's always there and I interact with them on that basis. Most people who do dreadful stuff will do it again given half a chance so I don't give them any way in to get the opportunity.

I’m trying to forgive a sibling for making the whole grieving process incredibly more stressful due to their selfish behaviour after the death of my lovely old ma. Trouble is my dp will ‘never forgive’ them. Now also trying to forgive dp for this approach. Bloody hell !

My brother used to take money from my handbag when I was a teenager and he was 2 years younger. That's easy to forgive.
The big things- someone tried to kill me with a crowbar for one- I'm not forgiving, fuck that.

My mum, for not letting me go to my dad's funeral.

Mum (now my late mum) and her family for lying to me about who my dad was until I was in my 30's. Deep down I knew, I had brown eyes and my mom and dad both had blue. I did ask them from the age of about 7 too.