To think this is a little off for the NRP to Do this.

[IWillJustKeepQuietThen]

So my DB is the NRP.
He has his dcs Fri to Sun eow

He has said that the next fortnight he has the dcs, the whole day sat he's going to an event and the dcs staying with the SM

The fortnight after he's got tickets as a gift to see a show on the Fri night, Grandparents having the dcs

The fortnight after Fri night is a family meal for a special birthday. The dcs could go but unlikely they'll eat much of the food so they may stay with GP then the Saturday night he has a party so the SM having them.

The fortnight after he's working the Saturday night but isn't compulsory as it's a 2nd job which is more ' fun' . ( weekend before Xmas)

That's every weekend up till Xmas.
Turns out he's only going to put the dcs to bed when they are with him 3 nights between now and Xmas.

I've said this seems a little out of order especially as he's wanting more time with them. But trying to make him see that the court won't see it that way..
I know leading up to Xmas they're things like Xmas dos that can't be avoided but this is every weekend in nov and Dec that it appears they're being palmed off.

Out of all that there's only 1 full day event. The others are nights that he has something on. And you're not even certain as to what his plans are. If the mother point blank refuses to change weekends, and he has something on then, as people are often told, it is up to him to sort childcare on his access time. And it seems that is what he's doing.

It's a busy time of year, and this is obviously unusual. I'd let it go if he's otherwise present when they're around. If not, they'll soon make their feelings known.

I think if it's something unavoidable swapping should be the first thought rather than palming them off. I can see that both rps and nrps have to use babysitters sometimes but this seems a bit much!

He's hardly seeing them through his own decision! You are likely to be right OP, he's not going to get more time this way. And it doesn't sound like he should!

(For avoidance of doubt I am rp. Sometimes I can't swap and if that happened I wouldn't be bother if GPS or his financee had them. But equally I would think it was off if he was out every time!)

Playing devils advocate.... time with the grandparents is really important, I don’t think it’s a bad thing they’re staying with the grandparents. I don’t know, the lead up to Christmas is difficult.

I’d potentially be annoyed but then he is being open and honest with you about it all.... you run the risk of saying something then him just not telling you about things in the future and not keeping you up to date which makes co parenting harder?

OP isn't coparenting with him. She his sister!

Doh totally missed that bit sorry Op!

(Blame the baby brain for not reading properly 😂🙈)

Do the GPs get any other contact with them?

If not, it is the lack of their Dad seeing them and not them staying there.

Will he see them during the day, on the nights he's out.

The tickets that were a gift and the family meal I don't think are unreasonable, those dates are outside of his control.

But the other stuff yes. It’s good he actually bothers to arrange childcare when his time. My friend gets a text informing her he can’t have the kids on his agreed time as he has another commitment that he could easily arrange outside of those times. My friend has the view that if it his agreed contact time he should cover it