...to ask my husband to do something about his snoring

[ILoveJoeBrown]

Honestly - I am now suffering sleep deprivation esp at weekends! the noise is horrendous and constant. I take low dose anti-depressants / sleeping tablets to help me get a good night's sleep, but if I wake up a bit too early I'm just awake listening to the awful racket.

I'm dreading the 'extra hour' in bed tonight as it will just be an extra hour listening to him! He has made a comment in the past that he will do something about it but then doesn't.

This has been going on for several years and I'm so sick of it. It makes going to bed together awful too as he just goes back to sleep snoring afterwards and I'm left listening or reading a book to try to get some peace.

Is he overweight? Do you have another bedroom you or he could sleep in?

Oh, my husband sleeps permanently in the guest room. We'd be divorced if we had to sleep together.

Yes he's overweight. I have another room if one of my DS's is staying over at their GFs house, so I sometimes move there. Should be DH moving really??

I can't use earplugs by the way - as I also suffer from tinnitus. Far too much noise in my head without him adding to it.

We have separate rooms so we can both snore to our hearts content while hogging our individual beds. Solved the problem totally. I think sharing a bed for sleeping is very overrated. If he won't do anything about it send him to the sofa when there isn't a spare bed available.

If he refuses to do anything about his snoring, he should be sleeping elsewhere. It's outrageous that you're expected to suffer and be chronically sleep deprived because he won't work towards a solution. He's fat and that's a major contributor to snoring, amongst many other health problems. He probably as sleep apnea which can be deadly. He needs to get off his arse and get tested. His selfishness would enrage me.

He's finally asked for a referral from our GP! However, when the GP asked if he has apnoea he said no! Yes he does!

That's a good start, OP. Hopefully he follows through with whatever's recommended. Sleep apnea and being significantly overweight are dangerous.

If he doesn't follow through and the snoring continues, you are well within your rights to sleep elsewhere.

Have you tried sewing large beads onto the neck of his PJs? Forces them to sleep on their side. Mind you, when my (lean, fit) dh is over-tired, he can snore in any position!

You need to prod him each and every time he snores. Disturb him until he rolls over. Every single time. Record him snoring and play it back to him every day. Demonstrate to him that it's a real problem. Because he doesn't experience his snoring as a problem, he does not understand - and clearly lacks the empathy to understand - how awful it is for you.

Hopefully he will be sent for a sleep study and you will find out if it is sleep apnoea. Dh was diagnosed and now has a CPAP machine and no longer snores

YANBU at all. It was causing real problems here - DH is now pretty committed to losing weight. He's doing really well with it and I can't actually believe the difference it has made.