To be upset about this porn use?

[NewBam]

I don’t live with my boyfriend and we haven’t seen each other properly for nearly two weeks due to work and other schedule issues.

We had a night together planned for tonight and I’ve been looking forward to it. We’ve had quite a nice evening but when I tried to initiate sex nothing happened and he didn’t get hard.

I joked that he’d been overdoing it with the porn and he admitted that he’d masturbated yesterday whilst watching porn.

I don’t really like him watching porn to start with but I am not at all happy that he wasn’t able to have real sex with me because he’d had a wank over porn yesterday.

AIBU to be upset by this? He knows he hasn’t got a particularly high sex drive and he chose to get off to porn knowing I was coming over tonight and we hadn’t seen each other for two weeks.

The mere physical act of masturbating to porn yesterday shouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference to him getting an erection today, surely? It’s not like his erection takes a day to recover.

For him it does. He only wants/needs sex once or twice a week. Once he has DTD he seems to be unable to get an erection for a day or so after.

This is bizarre. Does he have a medical issue?

I have asked him that but he refuses to go to the doctors. He takes good care of himself in terms of eating and exercise so I think it’s unlikely.

I think you know what you have to do op. Porn is the least of your issues here.

I'm sorry but it sounds like he's watching more porn than he's letting on.

That's really quite odd. If he won't go to the doctors, I think that suggests how important this is fo him... it's not normal at all.

I have never, in my life known a man to take several days to get an erection again! Does he wake up hard in the mornings? (Sorry, that's very personal but maybe would give you an idea of medical problems?)

He always struggles to get hard if we try to have sex in the morning.

My own suspicion is that he has a porn addiction or some kind of unhealthy relationship with it.

Perfect reason to get rid of him.

Oh no, it's not just the porn, there's an issue there. I wouldn't want to spend my young life dealing with that unless it was someone I already loved and was committed too.

My partner has ED because of a medical condition and he is still able to get hard on successive days when things are going well. Not managing it for several days shouldn't be the norm even where there are problems. He needs to see a doctor and you need a more considerate boyfriend.

So it could be he's addicted to hardcore porn and unable to get turned on by normal sex?

'normal' was a clunky word to use, apologies to any hardcore fans!

I'd sack him off OP! Seriously, either there is a porn overuse issue, or a health issue. Regardless of which it is, he is clearly not interested in addressing it, so I would be cutting my losses ASAP.

Thanks everyone. I’m trying not to take it personally but I’ve always said that porn becomes a major problem when it’s getting in the way of your real life.

He struggles to get hard in the morning? But that's when men are most "able" for it. What's he like having sex the rest of the time?

Porn doesn't bother me, I'm sure my DP must watch it when I'm away or whatever, what bothers me in your situation is telling you about it. For some reason that feels disrespectful to me, not sure why.

It’s patchy. I have found that if we have sex know he likes it it’s largely fine. This means me making all the effort and everything being focussed on him and his pleasure.

My It's porn addiction has left permanent ED issues. First it was physical from override. But now I think he's totally desensitised to normal stimulation.
I'm not saying this is the case here but that's my experience so maybe a big reason to get out OP.

Well he sounds a delight. So you've basically got to do everything to him for him to find it 'fine' and he can't get it up again for days on end!!!! I think he's either using porn heavily or he needs to go to the gp...... Or invest in some elastic bands 😁

*overruse