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Original poster

Slapped in the street - WWYD?

29 replies

Feebeela · 25/10/2019 22:35

I was in Victoria Station today at lunch time today. It was very busy with commuters and tourists so crowded and bustling. While walking through, I noticed a woman holding her c.8 year old son's wrist shouting at him in a Eastern European language (not sure which) it caught my attention because it was unusual. What happened next took my breath away. The woman, still with her son's wrist in her hand, slapped in on the side of the head, hard enough for me to hear the slap. The boy just shrugged which made me think he was used to it. I stood and watched not knowing if I should do or say something. I didn't know what to do; they seemed like tourists, didn't speak English, it was busy and it was awful but the boy seemed used to it. It was heartbreaking. I stood and watched but didn't do anything. Should I? What would you have done?

OP posts:
Queenunikitty · 25/10/2019 22:57

I used to live in China and saw this all the time. There’s nothing you can do, they do things differently elsewhere.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 25/10/2019 22:59

Yeah, I'd have said something. But then I absolutely hate violence. And I'm not afraid to confront someone.

Halo1234 · 25/10/2019 23:04

I dont know what u could have done. I bet it happend so quick u didnt have a chance to.do much. Poor boy that's so sad. I hope I would have asked him are u ok? And said to her do hit him he is smaller than u. Be kind. But I dont know if I would if I was on the spot and nervous. If there was a security guard or police office near by u could have highlighted it to them but unlikely they would be close enough by.

PumpkinP · 25/10/2019 23:27

There’s nothing I would have done

lyingwanker · 25/10/2019 23:32

If I was quite close I would've probably said something. Just like "Oi! Don't hit him". I've said something similar in the past, the words just came out of my mouth without any thinking whatsoever. It was like an immediate reaction.

Vulpine · 25/10/2019 23:35

I would have said something primarily so the child would know its not right or normal

VitreousHumour · 25/10/2019 23:42

I'm pretty sure slapping head/face doesn't come under reasonable chastisement or whatever the ridic phrase is. Even if it does I wouldn't have been able to stop myself shouting something. Last time it was 'Hey, dont hit her!' as a pp did.

DaisyTulip · 25/10/2019 23:46

Not quite the same thing but similar (sort of): I once was on a day out and nearby was a woman with a grandaughter (I presumed) of about 10 and a few other companions. They had a dog with them, a lovely dog, but whenever it barked or made a noise or moved slightly the woman was very sharp with it, jerking its chain lead round its neck sharply and yelling "SHURRUP!" but also when it wasn't doing anything at all still berating it in sort of commentary "What you looking at now... stop it.... sit.. SIT.. SIT DOWN!" etc. I ignored this for a while but when I saw her sharply slap the dog on the head I got up, went over and gave her a proper piece of my mind about her treatment. She was absolutely astonished and lost for words, I don't think it had occurred to her how out of order and inappropriate her behaviour or manner was. I didn't plan to approach her or what to say but it was an instant, instinctive response. (I kept a good enough distance between her and myself of course, safety first, but she was sat down so I figured she wouldn't leap up in time if that's what she had in mind).

TLDR: I would definitely call someone out on their completely unacceptable behaviour towards a child or animal particularly. From a safe distance.

Also, "cultural" is not an excuse for cruelty.

Vulpine · 25/10/2019 23:46

I think the nationality is totally irrelevant

Vulpine · 25/10/2019 23:47

Agree with daisy

DaisyTulip · 25/10/2019 23:51

Vulpine yes, nationality/culture an excuse not a reason.

KatyCarrCan · 25/10/2019 23:52

I'd have mentioned it to the transport police in the station.

Yestermo · 25/10/2019 23:55

Just because it's normal in eastern Europe to hit children doesn't make it okay. I'm half Bulgarian, it is the norm to slap ypur child as it was here 30 years ago. It's not ok. I would have confronted her.

IdblowJonSnow · 26/10/2019 00:03

I saw a woman in Australia hit her young daughter round the head so hard she went down like a ton of bricks. I screamed at her without thinking and she threatened to come and hit me. No one else was around (western oz, many beaches are deserted)
I've never forgotten it. Poor kid, no doubt she'll not have had a great life.
Sooner it's made illegal everywhere the better. - I know it won't get rid of it completely but attitudes will change over time which will help.

Serin · 26/10/2019 00:13

I used to work in a particularly troubled town. Once on my lunch break I saw a mother banging her sons (aged about 6) head against a marble pillar in a precinct, whilst screaming really horrible stuff at him. "You effing little spaz".Sad
I was in an NHS uniform, I tried to be as non confrontational as possible and said something like "oh no sweetheart, that's not the way, you are going to injure him".
She totally turned on me, pushed me in the chest, tried to grab my hair, a crowd gathered around us and I couldn't believe what happened, they were basically all encouraging her to hit me, "floor her", "interfering old c.... "
Security arrived in seconds and did nothing.
Stood there laughing.
I felt a hand grab my wrist and one of the physio lads from work dragged me away.
He was shocked that I had intervened and said they carry knives there.
I dont know what I would do in similar circumstances now. I would like to think I would still help a defenceless child, but the incident left me so shaken I didnt sleep properly for weeks. Still think about that little boy now.
I reported to the Police and was told they had recovered CCTV. They didnt find the mother but the security guards were reported and disciplined.

Rosebel · 26/10/2019 00:15

If they were foreign you shouting at her wouldn't really make a difference because she wouldn't understand you (although she'd probably guess what you were saying). It's a horrible thing to see and horrible that her son thought it was normal but I don't really see what you could have done.

cauliflowersqueeze · 26/10/2019 00:24

I’d like to think I would have said something but I might have been too shocked. Poor boy.

VenusTiger · 26/10/2019 00:36

It’s a tough one OP because of differing cultures etc. she may have been raised to think this is perfectly acceptable/reasonable/affective, in which case the child shrugging may be similar to you sending your kid to the naughty step for a few minutes of silence, in which the kid will shrug and sit in silence. That lady may perceive this to be psychologically damaging/neglect... it’s horses for courses really, and as much as we all will think smacking/slapping your child is completely disgusting, she and her peers may not.

My son and I watched a dad properly smack (loudly) his son around the legs when we were in France, my DH looked away in horror and no-one in the museum got involved, my son’s mouth fell wide open though, he’s only six and the boy being smacked was older than him.

user764329056 · 26/10/2019 00:38

I would have had to say something and have done before in that situation

JamesBlonde1 · 26/10/2019 00:41

I would have said something. Nasty woman.

It doesn't matter how the mother was brought up to behave in her culture. There are people in the UK brought up like that too and such behaviour is not ok. One of the reasons we have Children's Services.

Why would you do that to your child?!

queenjaneapprox · 26/10/2019 00:50

@Serin 💐

CofeeCup · 26/10/2019 00:55

I was on holiday in Majorca and from the balcony watched a woman/mum scream at her daughter all the way up the street before slapping her. I was miles away and couldn’t have done anything other than shout but to this day I still think about it and wish I’d have done more. I feel for you OP but realistically even if you had said something it wouldn’t have made a differenceSad the woman probably wouldn’t have understood you and a random stranger wouldn’t have changed her mentality.

Drabarni · 26/10/2019 01:35

I have friends and some family from several Eastern Europe countries, they smack their children, but I disagree it's normal to bash round the head. It's a short sharp slap on the legs, just like us older ones had growing up.
Not acceptable by our standards, but totally different to what the OP describes.
This isn't cultural or racial it's abuse in anyone's book, wherever they come from.
I know my friends and family members would be shocked by this.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 26/10/2019 01:37

@Serin omg!!! That's absolutely horrendous. Where in hell was this, so I know never to even drive through? I live in a bad area but onlookers would have saved you and given the mother a slap.

savingshoes · 26/10/2019 02:05

There's a big difference between clipping your child round the ear and beating them to the ground.
It's not illegal to discipline a child but beating them is. Unless it's the latter then you need to respect that this perfect stranger handles discipline in a different way to you.

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