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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to resign in this situation?

31 replies

TWD89 · 25/10/2019 15:49

I started a new role almost six months ago that has a six month probationary period. At the moment I’m on one weeks notice, but in two weeks it goes up to three months so I need to decide pretty quickly.

When I was offered the job I was told it was a busy department and I took the job to gain a specific professional qualification.

It isn’t a busy department. In fact, there is hardly anything to do! It’s no exaggeration to say I spend around half my time staring at a computer screen waiting for the day to end. Today I’ve had half an hours worth of work. Yesterday was a couple of hours. Some days I have nothing at all!

I was told by HR that the professional qualification now isn’t offered which is the main reason I took the job.

The commute is up to 90 minutes each way and it’s hideous.

The pay is rubbish but I agreed to it so I could get the qualification which I now can’t do! Im around £50 a month better off after childcare and other costs.

The only problem is... the job was created for me by a friend (who is my boss) and she will be angry/disappointed if I leave. I’ve tried telling her about all the issues but she just thinks I’m exaggerating (I’m not).

WIBU to quit and she’ll just have to suck it up?

OP posts:
crosspelican · 25/10/2019 15:52

I'd be out of there like a flash. You want the qualification and it has now been taken off the table. I guarantee you that she would not keep herself purposely deskilled just to avoid disappointing you.

Go go go!

Areyoufree · 25/10/2019 15:52

You're not unreasonable to resign in any situation! If it's not the job for you, then that's the end of it. It's also not the position that you were promised.

Itsallgonewoowoo · 25/10/2019 15:55

You want the qualification, it was part of the job, it now isn't, leaving is perfectly reasonable.

RatherBeRiding · 25/10/2019 15:56

How does she reckon you're exaggerating if the qualification is no longer offered? It either is, or it isn't - and if you have absolutely no work to do, it's hard to see how you are "exaggerating" about that as well.

I'd resign immediately and be very, very clear that the job is not what you signed up for.

AfterSomeAdvice1234 · 25/10/2019 15:57

Not what you signed up for! I'd be rushing out the door. Start looking for something more up your street.

VeniVidiVoxi · 25/10/2019 16:01

If she's your boss and made the job for you isn't it on her to make sure you have enough to do? Aren't you already criticising her in an indirect way by complaining? Maybe she thought you'd enjoy something cushy, some people do. It's maybe not down to her about the qualifications so if that's the deal breaker you can preserve the friendship by leaving on that basis alone.

Oblomov19 · 25/10/2019 16:05

Sounds horrendous.

AryaStarkWolf · 25/10/2019 16:05

Quit, what she offered you is very different to what you're getting, why on Earth would you stick with a job (which is basically your life) to keep your friend happy. Don't be silly!

Drum2018 · 25/10/2019 16:12

Get out. I'd have no bother telling he that what was originally offered should not have been taken off the table but you stuck it out as long as possible to see if it would get better. However as you are going demented with nothing to do (been there and it's awful) you really have no choice but to leave. It's her fault for making false promises so she cannot be annoyed about you wanting better for yourself.

BruthasTortoise · 25/10/2019 16:12

I think it depends on whether you can afford to be wageless for a while or have another job lined up? In saying that three months notice is horrendous especially for a non-business critical role. I'd be tempted to hand in my notice and get registered with a temp agency ASAP to line something up for the interim until you find a (much better) substantive role. Good luck - under-work is every bit as stressful and bad for your mental health as over-work.

BruthasTortoise · 25/10/2019 16:13

And if your friend is actually a friend she'll understand - if she doesn't understand she isn't your friend.

NotSorry · 25/10/2019 16:16

And if your friend is actually a friend she'll understand - if she doesn't understand she isn't your friend

^^ this

Similar situation, although my "friend" was the boss from hell and affected my mental health - she wasn't happy when I resigned and we haven't spoken since. It's possible the friendship will end, but I'd still quit.

Dissimilitude · 25/10/2019 16:26

That you'd even consider staying in such a situation, just to avoid an awkward explanation to your friend, suggests you care way too much about what other people think!

StroppyWoman · 25/10/2019 16:32

Go now rather than waste anymore of your life on a job that isn't working out.

AthollPlace · 25/10/2019 16:36

Do you have it in writing that the qualification would be offered? If it’s part of the contract they can’t withdraw it.

alwayscoffee · 25/10/2019 16:37

Can you self fund the qualification and use the spare time in the office to do the assignments?

AthollPlace · 25/10/2019 17:48

If she’s self funding the qualification why bother doing the job at all?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 25/10/2019 17:51

Can you self fund the qualification and use the spare time in the office to do the assignments?

What happens if the company then decides to redeploy the OP or change her responsibilities? She’s then stuck trying to fund the qualification herself with no time to study.

OP - you need to put yourself first. If you have so little to do, you could easily end up being made redundant, having turned down or failed to apply for other opportunities in order to avoid upsetting your friend. What if she leaves the company and you’ve wasted time staying there when you could have moved on?

Original poster
TWD89 · 25/10/2019 23:49

Thanks for the views!

I actually did self fund the qualification but the last year requires structured on the job work shadowing which they apparently won’t provide. It wasn’t ever promised in writing though Sad

I can easily manage without the wage, DH earns a lot more than me and childcare costs basically eat my whole salary. But I want to be at work! It’s just hard to justify earning next to nothing and getting nothing back.

Anyway, told her I was thinking about resigning and basically got told to fuck off so that tells me all I need to know. I guess I no longer need to feel any guilt over it.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 26/10/2019 07:30

That's a nice friend you've got there. I hope you've written your resignation letter already.

BlueJava · 26/10/2019 07:40

I'd resign too if I were you! That commute and no structured training plus being bored at work for an extra £50 after childcare is ridiculous. You have a very reasonable reason to leave (to explain to next employer) so I'd go whilst you are on 1 week's notice. Good luck!

Iggly · 26/10/2019 07:43

She is no friend.

When you resign, just focus on the lack of qualification. Find a new job ASAP. You may even need to keep this one off the CV as she might be nasty on the reference.

PhilCornwall1 · 26/10/2019 07:43

@TWD89

Consider this, if they had to make you redundant, they would do it without any worries, so it works both ways.

In my previous job, I was put at risk for 6 days and I immediately put my CV out there and got an interview and offer within 2 days. I got a call to say that I was no longer at risk and 2 others had gone. I had my new contract signed and I resigned on the same call. My manager got angry and said I couldn't do that, so I politely told him to fuck off and did sod all during my notice period.

It has to work both ways.

MistyMinge2 · 26/10/2019 07:48

Definitely go. It sounds miserable. Clock watching all day is totally demoralising. Your friend is being an arse.

Vulpine · 26/10/2019 08:36

The three hour commute would be enough to put me off