For about the last 10 yrs MIL always came to us - she is elderly (88) very religious and usually family orientated. She has phases of I am going to die this month when fundamentally there is very little wrong with her that eating a few decent meals wouldn't resolve, we know the eating is an issue she is 5.5stone and has been for several yrs at 4ft 10 and tiny frame - still wears a size 12 though which seems to fit.
This year both my parents are actually dying - Dad was given 2 mths to live 4 mths ago, he is still on his feet living life as usual but more tired and needs rests more frequently, he is in liver and heart failure with faulty valves and also type 2 diabetic insulin and medication dependent (so severe)
There are lots of children and we all want a last christmas sort of thing in this lovely hotel we have found at a great price for the 4 days over christmas - various of the kids are also bringing in laws so BIG get together all the cousins etc.
We asked MIL - she has said No as she might be ill by then. To be fair its a fair old drive (for us and her - 4 hrs for her 2 for us but we will end up going to collect and driving home to collect stuff and then on up to where it is (Close to everyone else). She has form for saying no initially and then deciding at the last minute to come. Cost is £380 all in bar any lunch requirements (But bear in mind its full English and 3 course eve meal job so lunch is a snack to be honest). She generally gives us in the region of this as a gift/thank you for having her etc
Am I unreasonable to book for us and keep an eye on their single room bookings for her, or if she doesn't change her mind then just going without her? I feel quite strongly that she shouldn't get to dictate what is the last Christmas I will have both my parents and with Mums dementia, Parents who know who I am (although given current rate of decline that is debatable).