To not let DD stay at mums house

[jollybobs89]

So my DD is nearly 2 well will be 2 in Feb and she's not yet stayed at my mothers.

1st she still smokes in the house which I don't like as I don't smoke never have done etc

2nd she has two dogs a Rottweiler and an akikta

I can handle the smoking maybe for a night but I'm just scared stiff of anything happening to DD whilst she's there obviously I know the dogs they have never been aggressive towards me or any of the family etc they are large dogs I have a dog myself, but I don't know I'm just petrified of DD staying you hear about all these stories etc am I being ridiculous?

Of course not. The smoking alone would be enough for me to say no. If she won’t stop doing that she doesn’t really want to have your DD to stay does she?

Has she said she expects to have her stay or do you feel like she ought to?

The smoking alone would be enough for me to say no OP unless I was 100% she could trusted to only smoke outside. About the dogs again it would be if my mum could assure me that there would not be an opportunity for my DC to be alone with the dogs, and of they are able to be safely kept away. As safe and gentle as dogs can be, toddlers are unpredictable and haven’t yet learnt how to react appropriately around animals, especially big dogs which have the capacity to cause fatal injuries. Go with your gut. and not being ridiculous

Absolutely not

She's made the odd remark about her not having her and she's nearly 2 etc!

Yeah I know just turns into an argument when I say anything about the smoking I know she would smoke outside when DD was there and when she's here she doesn't smoke etc but she still smokes in the house regardless I did have a conversation about it and she said she'd smoke outside etc.

We've always had big dogs growing up etc so I get the I'm not stupid I've brought 3 kids up etc etc and when I'm round at the moment she does keep them locked in the kitchen but she couldn't do that for the whole time the kitchen isn't big enough

Maybe have her look after your daughter at your house instead?

I wouldn't leave my young child at her house. Smokers exhale carbon monoxide for 30 mins after a cig I think. And big dogs, terrifying.

Would she look after her at your house? I’m having this problem with my mum but it’s not dogs or smoking for me she just doesn’t watch DS properly, when I visit her house the staircase is in the living room so he naturally tries to go up and she says “oh just let him there’s nothing up there he can hurt himself on, you and your sister use to be up and down them stairs all the time” my point being I wouldn’t dream of leaving a nearly 2 year old unsupervised never mind on the stairs!

Yeah she does have her at mine the odd occasion although she doesn't really like it and now she's asking for a car seat etc which makes me think she'll probably take her to hers etc

My DC wouldn't be going.
It's something out of the ordinary having your DD to stay for the dogs too and she's in their territory. I have a dog also but I would not be happy at all with my DD at two yo sleeping somewhere with large dogs tbh.

The smoking I could probably just about live with if she promised to smoke outside (though wouldn't be 100% happy about).

The dogs would be a complete no for me though. Just not worth the risk.

I would never leave anyone under 16 in a house with an Akita. No problem with Rottweiler and I work with bigger dogs.

No way.
And I say this a smoker.
And 2 big dogs around a 1 year old.
Sorry, again... NOPE!

The Akita is the one that worries me she's very unpredictable well not unpredictable I guess I don't trust her! She's got massive claw things!

YANBU - absolutely no way.

Presumably your mother won't be leaving your DD alone with the dogs at any point, and as you have dogs yourself I find your points very hypocritical and inflammatory.

Smoking I agree.

I'm not being hypocritical if my dog ever did anything to my DD then that would be on my head! It's my responsibility to watch DD and my dog who he has been with since she has been born so it's very different.

My mother's dogs aren't used to children.

Also a cocker spaniel is completely different in temperament to an Akita

100% no

There's no way my small child would be round anywhere like that. Okay, so she says she'll smoke outside while she's there - but the house must still stink of smoke and be full of it assuming she's still smoking indoors the rest of the time.

And the dogs? No. It's all very well having dogs at home that are used to being around a baby, but two big dogs who are used to getting all the attention suddenly getting their noses pushed out? I don't think so.

No, you aren't being ridiculous. Dogs can be unpredictable and that particular breed is large which may be a big problem. The smoking doesn't help either. You want to protect your child and you know which is the sensible option.

Another vote for no. It’s not worth the risk.

Absolutely no way on earth.

I'd have no hesitation in telling her that if she gets a car seat and takes your DD to hers, she'll only be seeing her when you're there.

The smoking is foul, and it sounds like you rightly don't trust her.

You say the Akitia is unpredictable so why would you even consider taking a chance on DD staying,the dog could get jealous and attack causing major injury your mother is very wrong in asking for a sleepover and she should know better.