My dd and ds visit their dad at half terms , holidays, some weekends at their grandmothers house where he is currently living. Their cousin lives on the same road. They spend most of these visits together.
Every time they come home from these visits there’s been an incident. Sometimes physical aggression, sometimes being coerced into dangerous situations ( being led out of a window onto a roof), sometimes inappropriate behaviours( dd being told by her cousin to watch him do a poo). Mainly bulling and exclusion though especially towards my youngest ds. This time they’ve come back having been shown music videos with swearing in and have learnt to say ‘n***’ as well as the youngest being ‘disallowed’ to touch any toys or join in any games. Their father and grandmother aware of all this but still leave them to play unsupervised. When I complain about any of these things they say oh yes he was told that wasn’t acceptable..Has been happening for 7 years now. I’m quite concerned about allowing them to go there and be subjected to all this with no protection. Their cousin is 9 and I can only see this behaviour escalating. If I stop them seeing him which I’d ideally like to do it would stop them staying with their grandma and father. Plus my dd says she wants to see him, ds I think would rather not.
Is this all just normal stuff? Am I over reacting?