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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think, either say yes or no, don't keep me hanging?

13 replies

NameChanged1202828 · 25/10/2019 09:30

Last Sunday, I was due to go out shopping with a friend I hadn't seen in ages. I invited her, and she said she'd love to, and would get back to me about what time. Saturday evening comes and she still hasn't said what time, so I text her again, and she says not sure yet, I'll get back to you. Sunday morning comes and still nothing. I text her at about 10AM saying look if you don't want to meet up its fine, or if you're busy, just tell me. She says no I do want to meet up, meet you at 12. Well 11:45 comes around and she text me saying something's come up, and she can't make it anymore, sorry. I like to get places early so I was literally almost at the place we were meant to meet at! I don't care if you're busy or have a better offer, just tell me if you can't so I can arrange alternate plans. If i hadn't have been seeing her, I could have met up with my sister, who I also haven't seen in forever, and then I couldn't because my friend messed me about. Aibu?

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 25/10/2019 09:31

Yanbu... but you need better boundaries with your friend. She is taking the piss.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 25/10/2019 09:33

I hate it when people pull this shit. Just leave the next meet up to her. I did this with a properly flaky friend and it's been three years. I hear she's even had another dc since.

sheshootssheimplores · 25/10/2019 09:35

Bloody hell, that’s massively out of order!!! She’s no friend of yours.

AmIThough · 25/10/2019 09:43

YANBU, but I wonder if she was trying to get out of something else but couldn't? Does she have form?

Zebraaa · 25/10/2019 10:04

YANBU. Ditch her, timewaster.

TheGodmother · 25/10/2019 10:34

She's no friend of yours!

littlepaddypaws · 25/10/2019 10:53

i thought i read friend too, but i'm not sure after reading the op. block her.

Candle1000 · 25/10/2019 10:56

Sounds like she was hedging her bets and keeping you hanging on until the other option was confirmed- horrible behaviour.

Sparklingbrook · 25/10/2019 10:56

I think this flaky stuff is on the increase. I have been to a couple of leaving dos recently and people were all 'yes, i will be there' and when it came to the do about a quarter of the people actually turned up.
I also went to a wedding where 20 of the people that had RSVPed a yes didn't end up going. Sad

Why don't people just say no in the first place? It's quite depressing.

AmIThough · 25/10/2019 11:14

@Sparklingbrook leaving dos are different IMO because people put loads of pressure on you to give up an evening to spend time with people you don't even particularly like

PunchBall · 25/10/2019 11:14

Just as another perspective, my DH has anxiety and really doesn’t know whether he will be up to doing something until the last minute.

Our family now know this and are OK with it. But we have lost all our friends as we had to say no to everything or risk letting them down on the day.

CAG12 · 25/10/2019 11:20

If you havent seen her in ages and shes doing this id assume shes not that interested in catching up

Sparklingbrook · 25/10/2019 11:28

@AmIThough I was surprised because there are regular socials put on that most people go to and I think everyone likes each other on the whole. Sad
The people leaving were incredibly popular too and everyone was really sad they were going.

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