To think my neighbours are nuts leaving their 16yr old to have a party

[levighi]

Neighbours have gone out to let their 16 yr old have a party for her birthday. She’s nice enough, even text me to say if it’s too loud she’d turn it down and giving an end time. I have no issue with the noise for the odd party.

Frankly though I can’t see how you’d leave her to it. Started quite sweet with girls singing loudly to hit songs, but for a while now there’s a clear music change. Lots of boys in and out swearing and trying to be big. Lots of less pleasant chat and shouting, posturing mainly but if it went further I can’t see there’s anyone present to help. Few 17/18 yr olds are borderline aggressive. It’s certainly an area with a rep for youth violence and gang culture so you can imagine the language.

I’m feeling like I need to stay up to be an adult present in a weird way, even if her parents don’t. Am I nuts? It’s not out of hand, but has massive potential for it. I’m quite relaxed but I certainly be present upstairs or something for a teen party.

I can see where you are coming from, but I have mixed feelings.
Ds was at a party last night. I know that the parents didn't know. I also know that ds and the party host spent time today cleaning and tidying so the house was spotless for the parents so they wouldn;t know.
They all had a great time.

I think your neighbours situation is better, as they have made the choise to let her do it, whereas the parents from ds house last night didn't know, and that appears to be common.

YABU.

The parents are aware of what's going on and the DD knows it, presumably she has contact details if she feels like things are getting out of hand.

If they feel like she's responsible and trustworthy enough then it can't do any harm :)

Bet the parents have set up cameras to keep an eye on things or they have really good insurance on everything. Either way... brave parents. If it gets serious contact parents/police?

They must have great insurance or just not have any decent stuff! I wouldn’t feel obliged to stay up if I were you though. It’s not your problem.

Normal round here for the parents to disappear while the kids party.

She sounds very respectful.

They normally quieten down soon.

We had loads of massive house parties at that age, booze and drugs and all sorts. Nothing too valuable got broken and everyone who got ill or injured recovered after a day or so. Having said that there’s no way I’d leave DS to have a party at that age, I know what we got up to.

Hmmm......what could possibly go wrong?😀. The girl herself may not be the issue but older teens turning up uninvited etc could be an issue.

I know a teenager who did this.
Small party, only a few friends invited.
It was gatecrashed, the house trashed, fights outside etc.

The parents are mad. Absolutely mad.

I guess it’s more unusual here. Small terraced houses, mainly rented with small yards out back. Less of a culture of it?

There’s a lot of teen knife crime here. The school has these issues, I’d not want to be bringing potential issues to my doorstep. As I said, the girl is alright, but it’s who else is there.

Seems I’m outside the norm though

@AthollPlace I’d warrant a guess they’re in the no decent stuff category, but still damage to a rented house is a nightmare

I wouldn't allow it. An if I found myself agreeing to a party (and I wouldn't!), I would stay home for the duration.

I understand where you are coming from.

The parents have made the choice and it is entirely up to them, it isn’t really any of your business as such.
However you can see how vulnerable she can be In this situation and feel protective of her.
I would be worrying too.