Would this annoy anyone?

[Ibizafun]

Arranged lunch with 2 friends today. About to go in to restaurant when one of them texts me hope it’s ok she’s coming with another friend too (who I don’t even know).

Nothing awful I know, but surely it’s polite to check before? Prepared to be told I’m being ridiculous!

That would piss me off

Well it’s a little bit cheeky but who knows you could make a fabulous new friend.

Yeah it would change the dynamics totally but if it's not a common occurrence I'd probably just let it go

Well... I remember being furious when a friend messaged me twenty minutes before my 30th birthday meal asking if she could bring her kids but more because kids would ruin dynamic. In the end restaurant wouldn't accommodate them and she was suddenly able to find a babysitter. I think courtesy means she should've checked but did the other adult change the dynamic that much?

Depends. Was her name Wendy/Caroline? 🤔

Yes totally let it go but this one seems to keep doing it! Thanks x

Definetly odd

From experience of this I would be pissed off.
My friend brought along her friend and she was seriously the most stuck up/snobby person I have ever come across. And rather than say yes she would say yahhhhhhh and really drag it out. That pissed me off 😂

True Fairyliz

If she does it alot then I can see why you're annoyed

Thanks for opinions. She’s done it many times and each time I don’t know whether I’m being unreasonable being annoyed!

I would hate it if not asked beforehand.

Hmmm sounds odd. Is there a reason she keeps doing it? Could she maybe feel like a 3rd wheel with you and the other friend? Or is she shy and wants to bring someone she's more friendly with to help her feel less uncomfortable?

Not annoy, more put my expectation off kilter slightly.

That would annoy me, I don't like new people being sprung on me. I would be telling her that your not ok with this and it needs to stop.

If it's a repeated thing then it needs to stop.

When arranging you say 'it's just you that's invited, no friends this time - ok?' Where you go from there depends on her response.

If it was just a one off that's different, there are lots of positive reasons why most of us may either be stuck with someone as a one off, or wants to give someone an 'in' to some new friends BUT to repeatedly do it without notice is really not on.

She’s very sociable so don’t think she sees a problem. Maybe I’m not doesn’t bother me as much if she organises the meet-up, only when I do! Thanks all again.

It depends. A long standing close knit group where burdens are shared = closed. A group where the conversation isn't personal = possibly fun.

It would definitely annoy me. I think it's rude.