To be gutted we’ve lost the house?

[DisneyMadeMeDoIt]

DH and I had been looking for our dream family home. I’m 17+3 and we need to move before baby comes (can’t stay here).

We finally found a horse we both ADORE! Our house has just gone onto the market (we live in a VERY popular area) has lots of interest and 5 cash buyer viewings booked this weekend (houses around here tend to sell within a week).

We had told estate agents for the new house all of this - there was one other interested party who had made a ‘VERY low offer’ and been rejected.

DH and I were going back to view this weekend - with parents and have agreed AIP with mortgage provider...etc.

So as long as we got an offer on ours this weekend (good chance we will) we were fully planning to offer- but we got a call this morning to say the other interested couple have made an increased offer (below asking price) and it’s been accepted.

We are gutted and feel like back to square one. Also a little surprised they didn’t postpone accepting this offer until after our scheduled viewing (they know how keen we are).

Anyway - EA says we can still submit an offer (as we have already viewed) and it will be considered but we can’t view again or show our parents 😒 disappointing

Is it worth holding out any hope for this house?
Is it worth submitting an offer?

We both just feel so deflated now

He took a day of annual leave? And you drove to view an area that you want to move to? All part of what buying a house entails and not comparable at all to solicitors fees.

Your DH is a surgeon, studying for professional exams- maybe adding a house move on top of this is just too much mental load and that is why he is dragging his feet and may have decision fatigue? And finding out he may have a career gap just as he has a newborn? Sounds utterly terrifying.

I'm a doctor too-I actually have a lot of sympathy for your DH. Often I am so exhausted from putting all my effort into work that all I can do is sit in silence when I get home. I've been known to drive endlessly around a carpark on a weekend because I (usually very quick to make decisions) am so burnt out from making life or death decisions in the week that I can't face any more. I can imagine the strain he is feeling and think you should have a gentle chat with him.

We did this after being assured by EA we would be ‘entitled’ to make an offer and have it considered (as soon as we could).

You’re Asian either straight up lied to you, or said this under the assumption that you would understand that you could make an offer up until the time that they had accepted another offer.

Is this the first time you have bought a house? Your understanding of how this all works is very different than mine.

I think it is the first time OP has bought and house and tbf I don’t think her naivety is uncommon. It’s an exciting time, easy to
Get carried away

You’re Asian either straight up lied to you, or said this under the assumption that you would understand that you could make an offer up until the time that they had accepted another offer.

The agent hasn't lied at all. What rule says that, having already viewed the house, they can't put in an offer to be considered?

You can make an offer at any point, having accepted an offer isn't legally binding, it doesn't stop any other offers being put forward or even the seller accepting until exchange.
It isn't considered good practice to gazump but it does happen.

Surely if any of these numerous "cash" buyers were that keen & knew how hugely popular your area & position of living between delightful "nightmare" student houses was then they would have booked in to see the house ASAP rather than risk losing it by waiting until the weekend when other buyers would potentially be looking?

@Worried
We were the ones who asked for weekend viewings. We figured we could book them all in and us clear off for a few hours rather than clearing out every night after work. 3 of these viewings were booked within hours of being on right move- so I think they’re keen!

@AforEffort9
😞 I know he’s under pressure, I’ve always had so much respect/empathy for his job and bent over backwards to make our home life easier. Since being pregnant and unwell myself, and the new students next door keeping me up I’ve had considerably less energy/patience.

Until now our lives have been centred around him/career but Its become very clear that due to his levels of stress/how hard he works - I’m going to be primary carer for our DC. I’m ok with this - but I just don’t think I can manage with sleep deprivation from a newborn AND noisy neighbours - with limited help from DH, no spare room for DM to stay and my own job to juggle.
It’s the first time in our relationship that I’m being a bit selfish and saying ‘hang on this just isn’t going to work for me’.

@AforEffort9

Also, there’s no chance of him having an unemployed period anymore. There never was, he’d just misunderstood a conversation and it’s all been clearer up!

It is not only about a race to make the highest offer. Until you are proceedable it is likely another offer from someone already under offer or not dependant on another sale or finance will be considered more favourably.