Aibu for being angry my husband has gone out on our anniversary?

[meganxz]

So it's our 3 year anniversary today.

Last night he was out with his brother till early hours and was with his two friends, dh ended up arguing with his best friend of 13 years and it ended badly.. this morning his friend rang him asking him to meet up tonight to sort everything out, dh said he is busy at it's our anniversary.

Today we spent the day basically putting rubbish in the tip, we went for dinner, (4pm) was absolutely terrible, DD is 18 months and just kept having meltdowns, we took her to the park afterwards, home by 7pm.

Then his brother calls to say he's coming to visit us.. so he tells him "don't worry I'll come see you and we can go see friend and sort it out"

I asked him "Why can't you spend the night with us properly?" And he said I'm over reacting, trying to keep him on a leash and I'll be putting dd to bed anyway?

So now it's 22:12 dds been in bed for a while now and I'm sat here feeling sorry for myself.. I've also got a D&C tomorrow morning for a 13 week miscarriage!

I can see him now parking on the drive away as I finish this off but aibu to be angry?

I'm sorry about your miscarriage. I'm sure this is a tough time. I agree, he should be with you this evening. Whatever it is, it could be sorted with his friend another time.

No, you are absolutely not. I’d be absolutely disgusted with him and he’d have known I was before he stepped a foot out of the door.

You're 💯 NBU to be upset he's not there with you before you go for a D&C. anniversary would bother me much less

I'm really sorry about your miscarriage. Take care of yourself & hope DH steps up💐

I'm not top bothered by him popping out to see his mate for 3 hours I'm more bothered by the fact that if you're anniversaryish type people you guys didnt plan to cook dinner or go out for a proper dinner together or something. Why did you eat dinner at 4pm???! :-S

On the anniversary side of things, I'd get over it personally. Neither of you have made a big fuss and it doesn't seem that bad to trade in no plans at home for land with friends to make up.

However, the miscarriage and having to go in tomorrow changes things. He is out if order for leaving you the night before.

I’m sorry for your miscarriage.

Your husband was probably tired and stressed, and if you did nt have plans for the evening does it matter.

I would be very hurt. More because of the miscarriage than the anniversary. That's when a couple really needs to pull together, particularly when you need a surgical intervention and are probably very nervous and upset. I'm sorry for your loss.

So he's out till the early hours the night before your anniversary, gets so pissed that he falls out with his best friend, and then prioritises sorting out the fall out, over celebrating your anniversary? All whilst youre about to have a d and c? Jeez. No yanbu to feel pissed off.

I'm obviously extra sensitive because of the hormones etc, and I had a premature labour at 22 weeks earlier in the year so I'm extra upset.

And I feel like he's prioritised his friends feelings over mine but I guess he's taken me for granted today I guess.

He's just gave me a massage and I just don't have the energy for an argument.

I’d personally be more upset about the fact that he’s leaving you on your own when you have the D&C tomorrow and are obviously feeling pretty upset. The anniversary, meh, sounds like you didn’t have plans for the evening anyway and you did go to eat earlier. I’m sorry for your loss

I'd be very hurt, you should let him know when you feel up to it. I'm sorry you're going through this

Why did he message you if your in the same house ?

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Sorry op but your husband has treated you badly on this one. I would never dream of doing this to my wife especially if she had a medical appointment the next day, let alone one so sensitive as you have. You should be the priority here not his mate. I’m not perfect but it often baffles me how badly some guys treat their wives and just don’t think.

"On a leash?!"

Sheesh. I'd be really upset.

Good luck tomorrow and I hope your DH at least has the decency to look after you tomorrow night (and do dd bedtime)

To be honest, it's not the anniversary I would annoyed about. It's that you're going through an upsetting time, and he's making you spend the evening before a procedure on your own. That's not fair, and it's not very thoughtful behaviour at all.

fantie he gave her a massage, not a message.

It's my anniversary today too. DH has had to work tonight but we had a meal out last night and are having a party this weekend because it's a precious metal one. Even after all these years the only thing that would stop us celebrating together is work. I would be very unhappy if he chose to spend it with others.