To think sometimes things don’t get better?

[Tooearlyforadrink]

Just that. I feel like things will never get better.

Like what?

Just everything ... stuck in a job I hate, living in a flat I hate, earn peanuts, so ridiculously ugly, getting old, all my relationships fail and then they go on to amazing loved up relationships.

... I just keep thinking when is it my turn

I know I sound like a brat

Sadly I agree with you

I agree with you, too.

Getting older is definitely better than the alternative. And I bet you’re not ugly at all. You just sound very down (diagnosed with depression) and lacking in self confidence.
What one thing could you change? What could you plan that you could look forward to? What exercise could you add in to make you feel stronger and fitter? What challenge could you overcome? Would training help to get you out of the job you hate? You can make a change.
And they seem happy and like they’re in fab relationships. But you can’t know for sure. People don’t always share the truth!

I suppose it depends on how long you’re focus is. Several years ago I thought I was stuck in a really painful situation. Couldn’t see a way out.

Now it’s a distant memory

Where did she say she'd been diagnosed with depression?

I'm getting older myself and I don't agree that it's better than the alternative, quite frankly.

I just think my last relationship destroyed me.

My friend recently tried to set me up with someone, we text for a couple of days and then he just stopped responding.

It’s no big deal on the face of it but just shows me again that that’s my luck. That I’ll never find someone who wants me.

No I don’t believe it always gets better. I think some people no matter how nice they are, how hard they work just have a shit life.

My job sucks, the same 3 people are constantly rewarded and given opportunities. I used to be so good at the job and then lost all motivation so I’m not doing as well now and my manager wants to put me on an improvement plan

But I don’t care about improving in the slightest

I tried to sell my place, no one was interested.

I’m too scared to sleep anymore because it’s me and my thoughts

Don't rely on a relationship to make you happy.

I can think of very few people who are actually in a good relationship.

I’m too scared to sleep anymore because it’s me and my thoughts

This can't be very nice. I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

Ok think you need a change OP.

What sort of things do you like to do?

Sorry I meant to put?? After diagnosed with depression. Meant to be a question and not a statement. But it sounds like it could be. Not a doctor but worth considering.

Don't rely on a relationship to make you happy.

I know and I think potentially because of how much I loathe myself ... then no partner can love me. It’s not an attractive trait either.

I think it just hurts that some of the men I’ve been with have treated me so shit yet they then go on to have good relationships.

It’s just not fair, but then life isn’t about being fair.

I have to agree too. I think what I have is my lot and I find it depressing and I'm so ridiculously jealous of people who have more and really fucking resent listening to them moaning about it.
I don't usually ever moan, I just get in with it because I know people will just say, well why don't you do this or do that and that will change things. The truth is it won't, this is it.

You can talk on here Drogo if you’d like - open thread, not just about me and my shit life

You need to stop looking outside of yourself for happiness, it lives inside you. Start doing some spiritual work, and start healing. It’s just stuff.
Find yourself, find your tribe, listen to self help books, meditate, do whatever helps you to heal yourself inside

I am sorry you are feeling like this. You mention loathing yourself.
Do you know why, if you don’t mind me asking? Where does that feeling come from?

Sometimes it is hard to value yourself as highly as you value other people. Cultivating a habit of being loving and kind to yourself takes work if you are used to bullying yourself and putting yourself down - whether this was what you were modelled as a child, in relationships, due to depression, or just bad habits. I started by having a bath with a face pack, as that smelt nice, and forced me to lay still for 15 minutes. I've added in a weekly yoga class, and scheduling in fun things, even if they seem like hard work ( seeing a friend even though the train journey is an utter ballache, because we both make each other feel better,!). I'm a big fan of massage to physically force me to relax. Good food, fun, exercise and getting outside are all ways of nurturing ourselves. Friendship is tricky but forces you to take your focus outwards.

Also consider visiting your Dr. They may be able to support you if you are experiencing depression rather than 'funk'.

Sounds like you are depressed, and you could do with getting some help. Sometimes life is shit, but if you've got to the point where you can't be bothered to make an effort, that's not helping. I'm sure you do have people who care about you, and that you really are better off on your own than with the bad partners you've had, you're just having trouble seeing it. Can you go to your gp and ask for some counselling?

I think you need a change OP, what in your life at the moment is the easiest thing to change?

You hate your flat, are you renting? Can you move? Try and think outside the box for solutions.

Can you look for a new job? Sounds like starting afresh somewhere else eoukd do you good.

Consider doing some charity work for a cause you are passionate about. Doing something good for someone who's got it harder than you can give you perspective and can make you happier.

Do something for yourself every week that you love, whether it's a class or getting a manicure.

It's in your power to turn things around, you have your whole life ahead of you.

I am very pessimistic and often think similarly.

But I am usually proved wrong in time, I have to admit.

In the kindest way possible, do you think that you might be depressed?
You talk of having lost motivation, and feeling like if you go to bed it will just be you and your thoughts.
You seem to dislike yourself and have an expectation that people will also feel the same, that can put people off, people pick up on the negativity.
It also sounds like there's been trauma from past relationships.
All of the above needs addressing if you are to be happy.
Please, go to a dr and tell them how you feel. You dont deserve to feel this way.