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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is quite rude of my friends ?

35 replies

Crystal1981 · 23/10/2019 14:48

I live in a very large town which probably has two known bad areas, most other areas are 'average' and a few are 'posh'.

Mine is one of the average ones, I live on a busy main road opposite a large hospital; this area doesn't have any kind of reputation that I am aware of, but I really like the convenience of this location. Never had a single issue whatsoever.

Anyway, I have a friend the same age (late 20s) and her fiancé. They both earn good wages, but I think her fiancé earns a very good one particularly. I like him, but I feel like he has an opinion on everything and kind of looks down his nose at people sometimes.
He said that a guy I was dating last year 'looked homeless' behind my back, even though he had done nothing wrong to him.

Anyway, they live 10 mins' drive in a well-off village. One day we were driving through my area and the fiancé said 'oh it's quite rough here' knowing I lived here.

Then, the friend came on her own to see my flat. She parked her car 30 seconds away from mine and then made me walk her to the car because she had seen a middle-aged man in the street (nowhere near her car) it just made me feel like she was scared of the area and expected it to be dodgy.

Just find it a little stuck up. I don't really have the same money or tastes they do but I would never act like that or say their area is snobby etc.

Does it sound like they were being snobs ?

OP posts:
CAG12 · 23/10/2019 17:17

Yes theyre rude and emotionally unintelligent.

I do think its a matter of perspective though. Compared to what theyre used to it probably does seem a little rough. Doesnt mean they have to voice their opinion and make you feel bad though

EileenAlanna · 23/10/2019 17:24

Next time say, yes it's so great when your dealer lives only 3 doors down & that you've never had to go further than 2 streets away to arrange a hit.
I looked it up on the crime map - that's one low crime area!!!! www.police.uk/greater-manchester/JC11/crime/

twilightcafe · 23/10/2019 17:32

Ditto previous posters.
These people are not your friends; neither should you aspire to be friends with people who try to put you down so often.

Mumof21989 · 23/10/2019 17:44

That's just rude. My partner's dad is abit unimpressed with where we live. They always lived in a big farm house that they were given from his wife's mum. Lovely quiet in the middle of a country lane. I've always lived on an ex council house estate. Most people around here have bought them now. A couple of elderly people are still in them through the council. It's a bus route. Has a school on the street. No trouble. Occasional bit of noise when people walk home after drinking. His dad said last year we should move to a nicer area rather than to do this up. What he doesn't understand is those nicer houses we could barely afford are like little pokey boxes compared to these sturdy old council houses. Why would we pay 30,000 more for smaller bedrooms, a tiny kitchen and a titchy garden.

Just tell them people are more likely to be robbing the posh villages Grin

Runningsmooth · 23/10/2019 18:03

I would ask them 'what do you mean?' They would probably wish they hadn't said it.

dayslikethese1 · 23/10/2019 18:14

I find ppl are weirdly judgey about areas. Had loads of comments about places I've lived and where me and DP have bought now. All v average fine neighbourhoods to live in. I just think well mors fool them buying a house that costs 3x as much in an area that's not even any nicer/better imo (of course I don't say that tho because unlike them I have some manners, lol)

Brackish · 23/10/2019 18:26

Honestly, OP, some people have all the social intelligence of bricks. And also, some people have a hilariously low bar for what constitutes 'rough' -- in some cases it's unconscious, and in others they pride themselves on it because they feel it gives them status.

I once went on a holiday around Scotland with a friend and her friend we were students, and our plan had been to stay mostly in youth hostels. The first time my friend's friend walked into a hostel room in the New Town in Edinburgh nice, freshly renovated, a four-bedder that we had to ourselves with its own loo and shower -- her eyes just started to brim with tears because she thought it looked 'so rough'. We ended up in a series of twee B and Bs where she was happy because there was a fluffy cover on the loo seat and curtains that matched the bedspreads. Grin

When we drove through a perfectly nice part of central Glasgow at the end of our holiday to drop off the hire car, she kept checking the doors were locked, as though we were about to be carjacked...

I never went on holiday with her again.

GatoFofo · 23/10/2019 18:29

I know that area and I can guess where your friends live, just from your description of them (does it begin with B?)
They won’t like it when people they meet locally look down on them for living in a less desirable part of their town and ‘only’ driving a 40k car. Because if they are judgy they will be sensitive to being judged.

You, on the other hand, sound lovely and down to earth and a much better friend.
And you live in a far more convenient location Grin

WorldEndingFire · 23/10/2019 19:06

They sound painfully insecure and desperate to keep up appearances, classic aspirational nonsense.

Sunflower20 · 23/10/2019 19:10

Rude yes. But a lot of people are judgemental except many won't say it out loud. I wouldn't end a friendship over it.

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