AIBU to ask if your DDs' periods were horribly heavy at first?

[hoolydooly]

...and did they then settle down?

My DD is on her second period. First was light but this one is horrendous - heavy bleeding and clots - and still going strong on day 9.

I've been to the GP and she has been referred for blood tests.

Anyone have any experience of this and it turned out fine?
Does this just settle in time or do girls with this issue always have to go on the pill?

Greatly variable in length, frequency and flow but now 18 months in starting to even out & become more manageable with starflower oil (meant to regulate hormones). Still considering going on the pill however - why suffer like this? God its awful, what we have to put up with, isn’t it?

I remember in my first couple of years I regularly had periods which were 10-14 days long. By my later teens they calmed down and by mid twenties I was fairly reliably 5 days every 28-30 days,

No daughter but my own experience - heavy, with clots and awful pain from my first period.

Aged 15 diagnosed with PCOS - which resolved itself over time but the heaviness and pain increased and I've (finally) been diagnosed with endometriosis.

I hope for your daughter's sake hers settle down, but don't be hesitant to fight to be taken seriously by GPs if they don't. I was fobbed off for nearly 20 years and so much damage has been done.

I don't have a daughter but will share my own experience.

I had just turned 12 when mine started and they were very heavy/painful and often lasted longer than average.

I sometimes had to have days off school because it was so bad (and I liked school!).

I went on the pill at 14 as I couldn't stand it.

It did settle down and it my late teens they were normal.

I had horrible erratic and heavy periods until I went on the pill at 16. Came off it at 22 and...normal periods! There is hope. I spoke to a gynaecologist a few years ago and mentioned this and she said it was something that happened a lot in her experience.

DD started aged 12 - first one was light and barely noticeable. Second and subsequent ones consisted of severe vomiting, excruciating leg pain and stomach cramps. It would always commence during the early hours and resolve in severity by lunchtime.

She’s now 17 and hasn’t suffered a vomiting episode for over 18 months. Her periods vary from light and manageable, to predominantly clots and heavier loss, with associated cramping.

She was offered the pill, but declined, due to other significant health issues. She manages the worst symptoms with anti sickness medication and strong pain relief.

Yep mine were like this, with excruciating cramps to go with it, shaking, rocking on the floor for all hours of the day and night. Paracetamol wouldn’t touch it. I’m pregnant now and finding it blissful not having a period, I was on the pill for years and wouldn’t take my breaks out of fear of the pain, then when I did have one I’d be reminded why I never take breaks.

Then we wanted to start trying for a baby so I had to come off the pill, and still at 22 my periods were absolutely horrendous, I’d be sick, feel faint, wouldn’t be able to move from bed.

Planning to go straight back onto the pill after baby is born.

If she suffers for the next few cycles I’d get her on a pill, they say even temporarily taking the pills can regulate your period and make them lighter etc. Could be an option.

My DDs first period was like this. Heavy and went on for 10-12 days. Don't remember there being clots though. She's 14 now and they seem to have settled down on their own.

It's a bit early to tell which way it'll go.

I bleed much more heavily now than I did when younger.

Look up emla cream re blood tests [she might end up needing them frequently for a while, so better to not have her frightened of them] and think about iron rich food [would be entirely unsurprising if she's anaemic if she's bleeding a lot]

My daughter had this too. I was open to the idea of the pill but wary as it's a heavy medication that can mask symptoms rather than treat the underlying imbalance.

I went the woo route and it worked for her. Tincture of Black Cohosh among other concoctions, taken daily. After a couple of years she didn't need it any more.

I actually have no idea! Dds just got on with it and didnt go into any details. 26 year old Dd has some problems with cramping and recently had the contraceptive implant, which made things worse, so she's having it removed. Dd28 just discuss it. They didnt discuss it when they were younger either. Better put my hard hat on...

you need to contact your local school nursing team. The school nurses teach children about personal hygiene, healthy living, teeth, puberty and sex - this is right up their street.

It's completely normal for a child that has just started their periods to have irregular periods for about a year, including heavy/light/missing/short/late periods.

My opinion is to give your daughter's body a chance to settle down naturally before you go pumping her with a load of drugs.

My Dd started at 12 and they have been awful from day 1. She is now 16 waiting for a gynae referral after trying lots of different pills.

Yes I had this, I ended up anaemic. Had to go on the pill. This was 20 odd years ago though, not sure of the best course of action these days

IDontWantToCookTonight your symptoms sound like endometriosis.
www.endometriosis-uk.org

@savingshoes thank you, I’ve looked into it before and other than horrible periods and slight IBS type symptoms that come and go I don’t have any pain during or after sex or weeing. I also read that the only way to get an actual diagnosis of endometriosis was to have a procedure done to look at the tissues, which sounded horrible and put me off looking into why my periods are so bad. I’m such a wimp that I’d rather suffer, yet here I am 3 months way from labour (even my mum is getting excited about seeing what I’m like during it) 😂

Mine were heavy and painful and I flooded right up until I had children. I wasn’t allowed to go on the pill. I used to be escorted to the doctors for throat infections etc, and blurted out “please help, I have so much pain every month and I bled lots, I need something to help” and my mother went “no she doesn’t, it’s character building” and escorted me out and angrily told my dad what I had done. I was escorted to every doctors appointment until I was 18 to make sure I didn’t ask for the pill again!

Pretty sure mine were like this at first then settled within a year or so.

Sorry to hear your poor daughter is suffering. Good the GP is on the case. I'll be trotting mine off to the doc's quicksmart if her experience is anything like mine (adenomysis diagnosis that took decades). Continue to be a strong advocate for your daughter; she'll need your support. Women's gynaecological health is persistently poorly supported and pain is underestimated.

Thanks, everyone.

Luckily she is not in any pain (at the moment). It's just horribly heavy with clots, but then it does settle down for a while in between.

I am just really hoping that this is just a blip as her cycles get into a pattern, and that no intervention will be necessary.

I guess it's a bit like perimenopause, with crazy periods and flooding etc as the hormones go haywire again.

I've been to the GP and she has been referred for blood tests.

Why would your GP be referring her for blood tests?
Don’t they carry them out at your GP surgery?

I just mean she has been booked in for blood tests. They don't do them there and then.

Yes! She is now 14. The GP put her on the pill. She just started so we will see if that works out.

I don't have a daughter but I'm 22 and mine were exactly like this when I started.

Really heavy and extremely painful, I used to have to miss 2-3 days of school every single time I got my period because it was so bad! But as the years went on they resolved them self, by the time I was about 15-16 they were much lighter and less painful

yes, both mine and my dd's were awful.

went on the pill eventually myself at 18+. my mother was the no intervention kind, and only had mild periods herself so didn't understand.
my own DD is on the pill at 14 - no one should have to stay out of school and be unable to do sport because of painful, heavy periods.

@Hoolydooly, I see you hope that intervention is unnecessary....

Intervention is fantastic - i wish i had had a mother who could sympathise with something as debilitating as heavy periods, and that she'd got intervention for me.

you lose so much ground and confidence as a woman if you have heavy periods. Having to 'struggle through' gives girls the idea that their health isn't important and that they should put up with crap - that their concerns aren't to be taken seriously.

Intervention can really turn a young girl's life around, and while i understand your feeling that you hope intervention wont be necessary, it can be so damaging to keep your head in the sand and deny a child a healthy adolescence because you wish the problem away, and minimise it because you didn't have it bad, or you're "waiting to see" if it resolves itself in a few years - (that is when her childhood is over and damaging self esteem patterns have been firmly established.).

I am glad that your DD is having blood tests, but I'd push for her going on the pill asap, so she has a normal childhood and can engage in her life at maximum capacity.