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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it me?

9 replies

Crass12 · 23/10/2019 14:07

I work full time and DH is SAHP. I’ve taken the day off because DH has a hospital appointment so I’ll do after school run instead and plus it would be nice to be home for the day.
Have been asking for him to get steamer out for me for about 3 weeks (I can’t get to it as in loft and can’t lift myself up)
Get up this morning and he is rummaging through DD8 school coat, pulls out Halloween dance money. Huffs and goes to bathroom where DD is. I say don’t bother her about it now. He stops and stares at me then puts money on side and walks off.
Since then he’s been silent. I ask what the matter was and all I get is ‘nothin’
I go upstairs an notice he’d got steamer down. Asked him why didn’t he tell me and he’s says shouldn’t have to, that he’d assume I’d see it.
I asked again before he left and he said there’s nothing wrong with him it’s me who has the problem cos I kept asking what was wrong.
He then said well you must know what you’ve done if you know there’s something up.
I said is it because I said don’t bother DD about money? He said no it’s cos she lost her new boots.
I say you didn’t tell me about it. He said no, because you kicked off about the money before I could say something.
Now I’m confused because I don’t know if it’s all my fault or not. Have I been unreasonable?

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 23/10/2019 14:09

Is he nervous about the hospital appointment?

Butttons · 23/10/2019 14:09

Sorry I am totally lost. Possibly almost as confused as you OP

DrVonPatak · 23/10/2019 14:09

Man-o-pause?

MRex · 23/10/2019 14:14

I second PP, unless he's usually very grumpy I expect he's worried about his appointment.

Regarding the steamer, I get that it's annoying to have to wait ages for it, but the correct response from you should still have been "thank you for getting the steamer down". I'm not really clear why you think the correct response was to tell him off instead, just because he didn't immediately tell you?

implantsandaDyson · 23/10/2019 14:14

Well if he's a SAHP is it possible that you've stepped on his toes with regards to dealing with your daughter this morning? Does he usually get the kids up and out, I'm assuming he does. Maybe he feels you've taken the day off and are showing him the "right way to do things" when he does it every day.

Crass12 · 23/10/2019 14:15

No, it’s a regular thing, just this one clashes with school run.
Buttons, yes it is rather confusing to read. I have a confused mind Blush

OP posts:
MRex · 23/10/2019 14:16

I went with YABU, because while he was distracted / silently grumpy, you were overtly rude to him a couple of times, which I would define as unreasonable.

Crass12 · 23/10/2019 14:17

@implantsandaDyson Yes you could very well be right. God I feel awful now, best try and make it up to him

OP posts:
AmIThough · 23/10/2019 14:17

He's the SAHP and has his morning routines. You were probably unintentionally irritating him just by being there and not letting him get on with his routine.

Nobody is being particularly unreasonable. Just let it go.

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