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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Elderly couple on train

276 replies

brummiesue · 23/10/2019 13:44

Initial thoughts were what utter twats they were especially after hearing that the woman in question is heavily pregnant. I then however saw the unpixelated photo and the poor woman who wouldn't move looks poorly. AIBU to have a little sympathy for them now??
Link below hopefully
mol.im/a/7602911

OP posts:
Madcats · 23/10/2019 16:35

I am greatly encouraged to hear that I stand a fighting chance of getting a first class seat if I complain politely to a conductor that somebody is sitting in my reserved seats (have a 90 minute journey up to London tomorrow and that train is notorious for having a broken reservation system of being short of carriages).

That said, I would have let the elderly couple stay put and made a few of the kids sit on the floor. If elderly passengers were to stumble mid-journey I don't think it would necessarily end well.

exexpat · 23/10/2019 16:35

She has confirmed on twitter that she is pregnant:
twitter.com/Manda_like_wine/status/1186927836407443456?s=20
If I were six months pregnant and travelling with three children and luggage across country, I would also book seats, and be pretty pissed off if I found some totally unapologetic people sitting in them.

I might even tweet about it, but because I only have a few hundred followers on twitter, it would probably never come to the attention of the tabloids. As she is a blogger or freelancer with a lot more followers, the tweet took off.

I can feel sorry for elderly people who have mobility needs and so on, but if they were decent people they would have apologised for taking a pregnant woman's reserved seats and explained their needs, and maybe come to some amicable agreement or asked the conductor to find them somewhere else to sit. It doesn't sound like they did that, though of course we are only getting one side of the story.

Chivers53 · 23/10/2019 16:36

I wonder if many posters have actually ever travelled on a train by some of the responses. And what on earth is that spiel about raising gifted children.

Paintedmaypole · 23/10/2019 16:38

people react differently to older people exactly how do they react? Do they react differently to black people, gay peop!e, teenagers? Well they shouldn't, making assumptions is prejudice. Another point, just from my experience "unconventional parenting" can be shorthand for bringing children up not to consider other people or have basic manners. Just my experience. I am not denying that this particular couple were rude BTW

ffswhatnext · 23/10/2019 16:38

I must be a horrible person.
I don't care who you are, you move from my reserved seats. Don't like it, don't sit there.

Johnsonsfiat · 23/10/2019 16:38

If the story is as she says it is, she was entirely right to do complain. But I'm not comfortable with where she's taken it after it was resolved on the train: Public naming and shaming is dodgy; we only know her side; she is a writer (of sorts) which makes you wonder whether outrage was the only reason she's tweeted the story and she's posted a pic of her child glaring at people.
It is enjoyable to see people get their comeuppance in this way, but I don't know if it's right.

Rumboogie · 23/10/2019 16:38

Amanda Mancino-Williams
Amanda Mancino-Williams is a freelance writer based always on land and never on sea.
She is the humble keeper of three children..

A candidate for Pseuds Corner.

cactusthief · 23/10/2019 16:39

Awful to put on social media. Also if the train was so busy due to a previous cancellation that there were not enough seats i would expect my own kids to stand and allow the older couple the seats. As a pregnant woman I would obviously want my seat, but the older kids? Unless they have a disability mine would have gladly given up their seat for someone more needy.

ScreamingCosArgosHaveNoRavens · 23/10/2019 16:40

Entitlement meets entitlement - I have no sympathy for any of them (assuming reservations were valid on the train).

The seated couple should have asked politely if they could keep the seats, acknowledging that this would be a favour.

The children look perfectly able to stand, unlike the seated woman who looks quite frail, so should have offered the seats to someone more in need.

The mum should not have plastered this drama all over social media - it's nothing to be proud of.

Cross Country should start putting longer trains on routes that are always crowded.

Johnsonsfiat · 23/10/2019 16:40

I'd have to agree rumboogie.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 23/10/2019 16:41

Paintedmaypole

In my experience people react with greater sympathy to old people. Hardly controversial and certainly not prejudiced. Hmm

PunkHairToday · 23/10/2019 16:44

@Paintedmaypole so what's wrong with my observations or those of the PP who made that observation? I'm talking about my experience, It's valid. No one is saying all old people are rude . But a lot are. My DCs used tubes and they say the same, although they also carry old people's bags up escalators for them.

ffswhatnext · 23/10/2019 16:44

Just because the children look able to stand doesn't mean they can. And when you have four people with two seats, who do you make stand.

SleepyKat · 23/10/2019 16:45

Sometimes when there’s been cancelled trains the next few trains have their reservationS cancelled. Normally announced with a tannoy message but they don’t remove the tickets. I’ve seen it happen on LNER trains and there’s normally upset.

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 23/10/2019 16:46

How easily all this could have been avoided if these two arseholes had just got up and moved, or better yet, reserved their own seats.

Paintedmaypole · 23/10/2019 16:46

People aren't reacting with more sympathy on hereGrin Just what isn't liked a posh old couple.

ffswhatnext · 23/10/2019 16:47

Punkhair I share the same experience as well. So do my children.
Worse when anyone under a certain age has a hidden disability, so maybe my experiences result from that.
Although not exactly oap old, but anyone a couple of generations older than you.

SleepyKat · 23/10/2019 16:47

Just because the children look able to stand doesn't mean they can. And when you have four people with two seats, who do you make stand.

Well let the pregnant mother sit and youngest kid/or any kid with a hidden disability. Would be unlikely all 3 kids have hidden disabilities/reasons why they cant stand and if they did I get the impression she would have included that in her tweets.

ffswhatnext · 23/10/2019 16:48

I don't mean that everyone is like this lol. But in some I should have said.

swingofthings · 23/10/2019 16:50

As always, we take a one sided story and make it a fact, whilst the paper get what they want, people reading crap and making it a moral issue.

I once travelled with my small kids in reserved seats, so was taken aback when getting there, two people were in the seats. They said they had tickets for these seats and that I clearly had got the wrong carriage. They were not interested in discussing it with me, refused to look at my ticket, and in the meantime, I was blocking the alley with my luggage, two kids who were getting frustrated etc...

As it turned out, we were indeed both correct and somehow, we'd both been issued the same seats. His attitude was so rude though, the conductor made a point to say that despite the fact there were seats available in other 2nd class carriages, he would take me and my kids in 1st class. Amazingly, the guy stood up and said he'd be happy and go there as it would be more appropriate than having kids in first class. The conductor told him that he had made his decision to take that seat and therefore that would be it.

Me and -my well behaved kids- enjoyed our nice journey in first class.

ffswhatnext · 23/10/2019 16:52

She doesn't need to include the specifics about needing the seats though.
She knew for whatever reasons the seats where needed and booked them. Other people decided that their needs outweighed hers and refused to move or even engage.

The good thing about this going public now is that if the couple weren't as dismissive as she wrote, other passengers will speak up. It's happened before.
If they were entitled twats others will agree. If it comes out that theres a whole lot more to this, then who will take more damage?

GeorgianaDovesHouse · 23/10/2019 16:55

It was the response of the elderly couple that was wrong. Why didn’t they reserve seats for themselves? YABU

Raspberrytruffle · 23/10/2019 16:58

I've just read the article and wow what cf the couple are! The lady said politely I booked these chairs please can you move for the posh lady to say tickets mean nothing we will not be moving, then the couple sat and ignored this family. There is a great photo of the 3 kids squashed in opposite the seat snatching couple looking as miserable as sin whilst the pixelated couple brazen it out! Definitely cf indeed if they had been polite and not so cheeky about it I think people would look at them a lit kinder, what annoys me is the train conducter moved the lady in to first class leaving the kids sat opposite the seat snatches to diffuse the situation why didn't he stand in and say quietly to the brazen couple excuse me sir and madam I'm afraid this table is booked but il help you find somewhere t0 sit but he didn't and the seat snatching couple probably know this so use it as a cheeky tactic Grin

cactusthief · 23/10/2019 17:00

@Raspberrytruffle

Just remember you are reading it from the 'wronged' POV, not neutral.

PixieDustt · 23/10/2019 17:04

They should've moved and stopped acting so entitled.

I'm not liking the way the older daughter is behaving.

😂 you're acting like she had the older lady across the table by her hair. She was shooting her dagger eyes. Good!