To be annoyed with DH for being as sociable as Brick. (long)

[Emprexia]

I took mom shopping today to get some stuff for DS's 1st birthday in a few weeks, and before i went said that as my dad was away, i'd bring her back to ours and cook dinner for her.

DH said he'd cook, and to ring him 30 mins before we'd be home so he could get it cooking as Lasagne takes a while.

So, i ring him up to say we're on our way home, and as soon as he hears my voice says "What Now?" in a really nasty voice, so i remind him HE asked ME to call, and i get "Oh yeah, i was in the middle of a game"

Then i get home 30 mins later to find he's still on the computer and hasn't even put the defrosted mince in the saucepan, never mind cooked it and got it in the oven.

As DS is asleep, i asked him to knock the volume of his game down (i can hear it outside as we pull up) and i get a mouthful like i've just asked him to hike up a mountain.

So mom and I end up cooking dinner, and he just sits on the comp, doesn't offer to help, doesn't even come and dry up after i've got dinner in the oven and washed up.

He totally blanks us while its cooking and doesn't say a word, ignores me when i tell him i'm dishing up, doesn't bother even offering to wash the plates and leaves that for me and mom.

As soon as dinner is over he's back on the computer, then notices DS needs his nappy changing, and when he doesn't bother to do the babys vest back up and i ask him to get "You never bother, why should I?" (which is a lie) and he stomps off, then goes back to his game AGAIN, and doesn't say a word to either my mother or me until i take her home.

I'm so angry with him, if i EVER did anything like that if he invited someone over for dinner i'd get ripped a new one for being rude. So, AIBU for being annoyed?

Er, nope, YANBU. I'd be mad. What did your mother say?

Id been fecking fuming lazy ignorant barsteward

i think there ought to be a law against grown adults playing computer games.

This was truly awful behaviour.

You need to make it abundandtly clear that you won't be spoken to like that, and that he needs to take responsibility for things like the cooking/washing up just like you do.

You need to make this clear to him as soon as possible and i think you need to make a big big fuss, otherwise he will think this is ok!

Hide his game console and say he can only have it back if the apologises to you and your mum for his awfull behaviour and tell him to grow up!
Sorry, but grown men playing computer games is a bit "sad".
The sort of thing that people with nothing better to do and who sit in bedsits do.
And i'm talking about my unemployed brother and his housemate here also.
Why did he even offer in the first place??
AB

Mom just told me to ignore him and not make a big deal out of it "not worth getting all upset over"

To be fair, DH does do his fair share of cooking/washing up, i'm more annoyed at the one rule for him and one for everyone else thing going on.

I'm not allowed to sit and ignore his guests, if i've promised to cook dinner i'm expected to do it exactly when i said i would. If he'd been out all day and i'd been sat on my ass on the computer and not bothered cooking dinner i'd get shot!

He's just really getting up my nose this week with his attitude.

So let him shot you. As much as i Hate these games, i really would make a point of having a go. Dinner, yea inaminute, dishes, yea inthemorning, "what score did you get darling, oh i think i've just got better!".
And why not throw in a "shout me when dinner is ready honey, i'll put this game on pause until after dinner".

Bite him, hard.

I have to disagree with your mom and agree with everyone who's said it is a bit lame for a grown man to be playing computer games while there's other stuff going on in the house - especially visitors, even if they're close relatives. Isn't he embarrassed?

he was behaving unreasonably - and I think it escalated precisely because he knew he was. he got into his game (have done the same, not with games, but mn for example ) and before he knew it you were home - leaving him with the choice of admitting he'd fucked up and apologising, or carrying on, pretending he's done nothing wrong - in effect justifying/defending his initial misdemeanour by not admitting it and carrying it on. so that's what he did.

you are not at all being unreasonable for being angry - but if you want an apology/admission of guilt and reconciliation - perhaps involving compensation of some sort - sad/disappointed/hurt might be the better way to go. make him feel bad, rather than defensive.

He couldn't care less.

Infact i left DS with him while i took mom home, and when i got back 30 mins later DS hadn't been got into his PJ's and had just been dumped in the middle of floor with some toys and left there.

As soon as i got in, i got bitched at for mom smoking in the kitchen (it was throwing it down outside and she was stood in the back door with the extractor fan on) and for leaving a couple of bits of rubbish down the side of the bed.

I tell you, i have blood in my mouth from biting my tongue about telling Dh what a Dick he's been today.. things haven't been great between us lately, so i'm trying not to be a bitch and save the arguements for the non-petty stuff.