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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that his changed his mind.. or has he?

2 replies

Misskg1982 · 22/10/2019 22:08

Earlier this year my OH told that he doesn't want to have a second child. We have a DD who is 2, will be 3 in Jan and I wanted to start trying for baby number 2 around this time to be fair. Anyways after many talks he told me he couldn't think of anything worse then going back to the baby stage, how impractical it would be having a newborn in our room and basically that he wanted his life back.
It's been tough but relationships are fully of compromise and as much as I really want a second baby I've been working on these feelings and over the summer I got rid of all things baby 😭.
His sister is currently weeks away from giving birth to baby number 2, which again something I find hard to deal with. Anyways tonight he said had I not got rid of things who knew. I said what do you mean and he said well it would be nice in the long run to have two and was acting like I'd made this decision to not have anymore. I'm fuming as well as hurt, especially after dealing with all the emotions over the past few months. I then said well then let's start trying and he back tracked immediately saying we've gotten rid of everything now so that's just an added expense we don't need. Now his acting like I'm wrong to be upset with him. What is wrong with some men????

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 22/10/2019 22:11

What's wrong is that your OH is gaslighting you. He's essentially blaming you for the things he's said and deliberately trying to manipulate your emotions by lying (or omitting the truth) about his own behaviour. It is a form of abuse and if I were you I'd probably be looking a little more closely at why someone who was supposed to love and cherish me was behaving that way.

Flowers
Zebraaa · 22/10/2019 22:15

Uh. Not often I man-bash but he does sound like he’s being a dick. It’s not your fault, don’t feel you’ve made the decision, he’s twisting it.

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