To ask you how you respond to aggressive posters on Mumsnet

[Iyanappa]

Have recently made a post about something which was not hugely major in the grand scheme of things. As usual, got a mixed bag of responses.

I was genuinely shocked however by the aggressive tone of some poster's replies. I just ignored the nasty ones and just responded to the constructive contributions.

What do others do in this situation? I was sorely tempted to bite back!

I just ignore. There's a real "kick you when you're down" streak on MN, I'm not sure what that's about.

I think it's best to ignore if someone is hostile, although of course it is fine to have a different opinion - it's just how they phrase it.

If you defend yourself on aibu be prepared to have even more abuse thrown at you.

"That's nice"

Is telling people to fuck off not allowed? Or “What’s up? Did your mama not love you?”

I tend not to reply as then you get into a back and forth argument which derails the thread. If they go too far, I report. I report bullying of other posters too, and posts I’ve reported are sometimes deleted.

Why respond to them? AIBU is what it is. Post elsewhere.

There is an element of 'kick people when they're down'

There are some ace people on here, blunt, kind, funny, diplomatic ... but there are some right arseholes too. A bit like real life I suppose.

AIBU is blunt, but some posters seem not to understand the fine line between bluntness and nastiness.

Generally ive found other forums way more helpful. This one is what it is. I think you kinda have to expect and have a thick enough skin to ignore.

Its always the same posters and threads develop into a competition as to who can be the most dismissive whilst trying to be so cool. Rude is not cool. It is sad though and it is hard to imagine how these posters have any RL friends...

@hugospritz - exactly this! There was a poster this morning asking about sinking the entirety of her assets into a house with a boyfriend post divorce and c.80% of people said she was mad to do it. She responded to the 20% and accused everyone else of bullying and nastiness. Only a tiny handful of responses deserved that and most were just common sense.

Equally when I was accused of having a stick up my arse for challenging what I saw as sexism I just ignored the genuinely offensive posters - they're just keyboard warriors. So you have to have broad shoulders for some...

I think once people start being rude, disrespectful or angry it's best just to ignore.

If people can't have a debate without resorting to name calling or being disrespectful I either conclude their argument is failed or they don't deserve my time to continue the discussion. That also goes to people who insist on misquoting or making up statements they believe I would think.

I ignore them. Bad energy and I've no time for that

ODFOD
or

I'm terrible for not backing down over hostility!

It was terribly cathartic to have a thread where I got some really arsey comments and to just totally ignore them. Some people got really 'hey hey look at me, why aren't you responding to insults' about it and I realised they DO need to get a rise out of you and the best thing you can do is fail to rise!

Don't feed the trolls, or the particularly aggressive keyboard warriors who most probably wouldn''t say boo to a goose in real life.

Ignore them. And if you find it using up too much headspace then just hide the thread and move on. Leave them percolating in their own venom.

Yeah the best thing you can do is ignore them.
They want a rise out of you! Don't give it to them.
I've stuck up for other people on mumsnet but when someone had a random go at me about one of my comments (about secondary infertility no less ) I just ignored. It took a lot of strength though !

Ignore although I would never post in aibu your just asking for abuse.

Or, once I realise a thread ive started is going south and its bought the MN trolls out in force I hide it. Literally not worth my time!

I've had a mixed bag of experience on AIBU but mostly it's positive/constructive with the odd stirrer or two thrown in - I broke my rule of responding once and it resulted in a pile on (not my thread either) so I have since reinforced said rule not to get involved when the thread is clearly quite heated already

I agree also that some posters can get really defensive/aggressive if they are challenged - most of the time I shrug it off, sometimes (if I've had a bit of a crap day) I'll bite back once, but then I'm done with it