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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - work situation

38 replies

Darkbloom · 22/10/2019 16:51

I've been working for this company for a year now - there is around 150 staff on our site and 6 members in our team (we have our own office away from the rest of the company).

All the team are English apart from two of the staff members are from a European country (Don't want to say which country they are from as I know a couple of my team are mumsnetters). The manager is from the same country as them.

The manager "prefers" to use her own native language when talking, so 5% of the time she talks English - the other two girls follow suit and talk in their language to her and to each other.

AIBU to think it's extremely rude to not communicate in English to the whole team?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/10/2019 16:55

Yes, it is very rude and it makes no sense. Your manager doesn't want the entire team to know what the hell they're saying? It's absurd.

FriedasCarLoad · 22/10/2019 16:56

It is rude. Maybe understandable during lunch break, although still a bit rude. Rude and unprofessional during working hours.

Original poster
Darkbloom · 22/10/2019 16:57

Yep that's right @Aquamarine1029 its very secretive between them three. I feel like complaining to HR.

OP posts:
seaweedandmarchingbands · 22/10/2019 16:59

What sort of conversations are they? In meetings I would obviously object, but in a one-to-one I wouldn’t, as the conversation doesn’t involve you anyway.

Mrbay · 22/10/2019 17:00

We have multiple languages spoken at my office, our policy is English is spoken unless required for a business reason.

I would raise this with your HR team as it unbelievably rude and unprofessional.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/10/2019 17:01

I would say something directly to your manager before involving HR. It would be good if your other co-workers made a united front about it.

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 22/10/2019 17:01

Time to start learning the language, I reckon Grin

WagtailRobin · 22/10/2019 17:02

It is not rude to converse in a native language, it is however inappropriate to communicate with co-workers in a language they do not all understand, unless of course the conversations taking place in the foreign language is not work related, then it is perfectly acceptable for them to speak in whichever language they choose; They could be discussing the weather, home life etc, as I said above if the chats are not pertaining to working matters then it won't be anything that you need to be able to translate.

If their use of their own language impedes your ability to complete your work tasks, then yes I can see why it would be an issue but if it isn't detrimental to your work I don't see what the problem is.

Original poster
Darkbloom · 22/10/2019 17:02

@seaweedandmarchingbands so I will be talking and they will be talking English back to me (manager too) and they will cut across me and speak in their own language, they do this in team meetings too.

OP posts:
RB68 · 22/10/2019 17:03

If the rest of the company uses English to communicate about business then yes. If they are talking business yes. To be honest even if gossipping its mean and rude to exclude others in the department through language as well. The Manager should be aware of this and address it but she is part of the issue here. I think it needs pointing out that it could cause potential business issues with things being missed due to two languages being used and should have one business language if nothing else.

Original poster
Darkbloom · 22/10/2019 17:07

It's very much like, if I've made a mistake and then one of the girls will inform the manager in her own language then the manager will say something to her, then I get a bollocking.

I want to go to HR but I'm still in probation so I'm worried about complaining.

One of the English staff members have complained to me discreetly before about how much they don't talk in English - it's not like they can't speak in English - they are just as good as me.

OP posts:
seaweedandmarchingbands · 22/10/2019 17:10

Then it’s definitely rude and I would ask them to stop first.

JE17 · 22/10/2019 17:11

Yes it's overstepping the mark to switch languages during the team meeting / any business setting and I would ask them directly to stop doing it.

RandomMess · 22/10/2019 17:13

It's exclusion and a form of bullying.

KatherineJaneway · 22/10/2019 17:17

I wouldn't like that at all. Hardly encouraging team bonding is it. I'd definitely complain.

CinnamonMentos · 22/10/2019 17:19

I think it’s rude to talk in a different language if there’s someone there who doesn’t understand. I say this as I speak another language and a lot people where I work speak the same other language as me.

We have an English only policy at work and make sure we stick to that. We do occasionally speak our second language when we’re at lunch, but only if everyone there understands.

Fink · 22/10/2019 17:24

If it's a conversation which includes people who don't speak that language, then YANBU. But if it's a conversation between native speakers of one language which others can overhear but which they are not directly involved in, then YABU.

Tbh, YABU to use inverted commas around the idea that your manager 'prefers' to use her mother tongue. Of course she prefers to. Have you achieved fluency in a second or third language? It's bloody hard work to keep it up all the time, and it will always be easier and more natural to use your native language. I have to use a foreign language at work around a third of the time. And even though I am fluent, it is so much more tiring and energy-consuming.

If I were you, I would speak to manager/HR about using English in team meetings. But I absolutely would not expect native speakers of the same language to use English to each other in a conversation just between themselves or complain about that.

MrsLEB · 22/10/2019 17:30

You at least need to approach your manager about it directly first. HR will just send you straight back there to raise it informally in the first instance don't expect them to police the manager for you. Surely as an adult you can raise it to your manager in a polite and professional way and see what response/outcome you get.

MrsLEB · 22/10/2019 17:32

As a side note I don't agree with her talking in a language other than English - it's unprofessional. I just don't think going to HR as the first course of action is the right option.

CountFosco · 22/10/2019 17:33

I think they shouldn't swap between languages when working, it should be English all the time. TBH if they worked for a large international company in their home country they would probably be expected to speak English there as well since it's the common language between people from lots of European countries. Fine to go off and talk in your first language at lunchtime when relaxing but not in front of someone who doesn't speak it. Get one of the other English speakers who are not on probation to speak to your manager then if that doesn't have an impact talk to HR.

AgathaTheAardvark · 22/10/2019 17:35

Yanbu. That's very unprofessional. I speak French and worked in an office where other people speak French, but we never would have spoken to each other in French in front of anyone else. I absolutely hate that.

I have also been on the receiving end when friends used to speak Irish to each other and I really don't speak more than a few words of Irish. At least that was only socially though.

RiotAndAlarum · 22/10/2019 17:40

When speaking to HR, stress all the business-oriented ways in which your boss is wrong. Not just failing to ensure all team members have all the information, but actively allowing miscommunication and shutting team members out of work (the very possibility to do your job properly). See if you can prove withholding information. Favouritism affects your chances of promotion, too.

Beveren · 22/10/2019 18:12

Learn the language. You could learn all sorts of interesting stuff that they think you can't understand.

AgathaTheAardvark · 22/10/2019 18:21

Learn the language. You could learn all sorts of interesting stuff that they think you can't understand.

Grin

Genius! But very difficult in practice.

Bluntness100 · 22/10/2019 18:24

I really would think long and hard about complaining about the manager when on probabtion. I'd place good money on you being out at the end of it.