In the best possible sense, I think you're approaching this all wrong and over sensitive in places - I get it, when people irritate us, even then breathing in and out gets on our last nerve
The comment about the woman always being right ? Completely unoriginal and done to death by many men of a certain age - it wasn’t meant to insult you per se. Let that go.
Racism isn’t ok tho and that should have been challenged as diplomatically as poss so that you’re views are stated and it doesn’t cause fall out for you with your h etc.
Food - plan this stuff! Don’t ASK what people want, make sure you’re organised and know what’s planned for each meal and rope h in to help/cook/prep (whatever works best FOR YOU)
No. I would not expect or entertain anyone taking over my kitchen, by planning meals etc there is no need.
Your h regresses when his parents are there - common, so planning stuff like meals means you enlist him to do what’s needed, including bustling the in-laws in the direction of the sofa to give you space and time to do your thing.
The house thing... who doesn’t like a spot of property porn? Let them look, you can interact as required to say what ones You’ve seen/considered/discarded.
Breathe!!! They are not “bad” people at all by the sounds of it, but you need to manage them and your h.
Completely doable