To think that squeezing someone's hand hard enough to hurt is a twat move?

[Cherrysoup]

Just had a meeting with a woman who squeezed my hand so hard it actually hurt. I hate limp handshakes, but this was ridiculous, plus she wouldn't let go! I had to pull away. Very minor, I know, but this struck me as impolite and over the top. AIBU to prefer not to have my hand in a vice like grip?

I have arthritis in my fingers and would have screamed at that!

There was one hearty (dominating) professional I used to have to deal with who did this. I quickly learned to edit the rings I wore into his establishment!

And another who started with a handshake, second visit a handshake and shoulder pat, third visit I was pulled into a bear hug. Fourth visit I asked my male line manager to take, as I wasn't sure where the escalation would take us but I did know I wasn't going there! 😂

And now you know how those of us who have arthritis feel about all handshakes, including your normal 'firm' ones. Crap, isn't it?

Fucking anachronistic bollocks, handshakes.

I'm on the other end of this - I wear thumb splints which are mostly plastic so I shake people's hand very carefully!

I am guessing she is really shy and trying far too hard to show confidence.

I just say "ow, think you need to work on your handshake" and they're usually embarrassed enough to not try again.

@TurpentineWine I now need to know what Eddie did!

Also yes OP this is a power move and dick behaviour.

I went on a course once, cant remember its title, but one aspect that was covered was how firm a handshake should be. The woman giving the course had what I thought was very good advice.

She said "Imagine you are holding the hand of a small child beside a busy road - that is how firm the grip should be. Firm enough that they cannot get away in to the road but not so hard that you hurt them."

How about saying, “Goodness! That’s some grip you’ve got there! I feel sorry for your husband!”

I actually asked someone I met regularly in business to modify/relax their handshake a bit because of rings being crushed into my hand. He was a lovely chap but big so his hand enveloped mine. He didn't mind!

NearlyGranny

I'm embarrassed to say that when I was young and lacking in confidence I did the very firm handshake thing. I read somewhere that it made people respect you. Instead they used to just give me odd looks, this silly teenage girl with a vice like grip. I cringe when I think back. I have a nice gentle handshake now.

1. Subtly flinch whilst looking into her eyes.

1. Oh my, you must be great at opening jars... Slight wince.

1. Scream...

1. Grin and bear....?

I am guessing she is really shy and trying far too hard to show confidence.

Definitely the latter part, tried to pick apart something I’d done, my line manager backed me up and basically told her she was very wrong then the woman tried to pick my brains about my techniques and started taking notes! I’m happy to share good practice, but not with people who aren’t polite. Lots of staring into my eyes as she crushed my hand!

Fucking anachronistic bollocks, handshakes.

I absolutely agree, all this nonsense hail fellow well met nonsense. I’d rather not shake anyone’s hand, tbh, I don’t like touching or being touched (except by my close family/dh)

There was one hearty (dominating) professional I used to have to deal with who did this. I quickly learned to edit the rings I wore into his establishment!

Hmm, I have some very large spiky rings myself, I shall have to break them out next time I see her!