Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s impossible to block dodgy websites on teenagers phones and wonder how we are supposed to protect them

78 replies

Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 08:37

I always go to them for tech advice. Appreciate advice from schools etc re certain sites but how do you protect kids in reality?

OP posts:
Aderyn19 · 22/10/2019 12:27

Also, if you say no, you run the risk of them doing things behind your back and bring unable to come to you if they see something disturbing.

Original poster
Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 12:27

No but homework insists on a laptop.

Re the sex shop analogy. It is a silly comparison to make. My dc would never be anywhere near a sex shop which is positively innocuous in comparison to some of these sites. The internet is like having a city at their fingertips (very accessible). Yes you teach them values as best you can but teenagers are teenagers, those years are tricky and unless you monitor everything they go on at 15/16(nigh on impossible) you have no way of knowing of where they go online.

OP posts:
Original poster
Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 12:28

So no software then?

OP posts:
Damntheman · 22/10/2019 12:39

Not any software that any typical teen couldn't circumvent I'm afraid OP. Better to just talk to them IMO. If you're that worried about it you could insist on the computers being in family rooms and not in bedrooms.

Backinthecloset123 · 22/10/2019 12:48

I strongly recommend a book called I-Gen by Jean Twenge.

Original poster
Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 12:51

Is it going to depress me or advise.Grin

OP posts:
Djimino · 22/10/2019 13:11

I find the parental controls on iPhones pretty sound. You can control all sorts of things. As long as you don’t give them the passcode then they can’t change the account settings. Not being able to erase search history is useful.

It’s not perfect and your kid can always look at inappropriate stuff on their friend phones but setting up iPhone parental controls is easy and effective. There are loads of easy to understand guides online. I don’t understand why people don’t bother doing it.

You can chose what apps they can access.

Original poster
Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 13:35

Really. How does that work? My dc are tech wizards, could they def not over ride it?We all have Apple devices, not sure if we are in control of their devices as we didn’t want all of us able to read each other’s texts. How does it need to be set up?

OP posts:
walkintheparc · 22/10/2019 13:43

I'm not sure about 'chat' sites OP - I don't think they really exist any more, anyone can chat to literally anyone on social media.

Damntheman · 22/10/2019 13:43

With one google search within five minutes I found two free apps that claim to be able to remove parental controls on Apple devices without the parental password. I'm pretty sure reddit has a treasure trove of advice for your teens looking to get around parental controls.

Original poster
Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 13:46

I know Dam.😩

There are video chat sites you can chat to strangers.😱

OP posts:
Damntheman · 22/10/2019 13:47

It terrifies me too OP, I get it perfectly. Unfortunately I think some degree of trust is just going to be necessary for this. They've got to learn to stand on their own two feet and will probably move out in the next three years anyway. Handhold for you, I'll be needing one as well when I get to the same stage in som eyears.

ChilledBee · 22/10/2019 13:50

You can do it with some wifi subscriptions through a "buddy" app

Djimino · 22/10/2019 18:48

My dc are tech wizards

I doubt that very much. It's probably just that they are better at tech stuff than you. That doesn't make them tech wizards.

You can set up parental controls easily on iPhone and iPads. There are plenty of online tutorials. It's not difficult but if you find it too daunting then pay someone to help you.

If you have the passcode for the parental controls then there is very little anyone else can do to override them. It is technically possible but beyond the capabilities of most people including 'tech wizards' 😉

Most kids get around parental controls because parents give them the passcode.

There is a lot of flexibility in how you set the parental controls up from super strict to fairly relaxed.

Original poster
Br3athd33p1y · 22/10/2019 19:08

Ds 2 is seriously good, Particularly at cyber security and coding trust me. Their phones aren’t linked to ours as we didn’t want them getting our texts/ photos and vice versa.
Ds said you’d have to download software to block an app on his laptop and he’d just delete it.

OP posts:
Damntheman · 23/10/2019 06:50

Djiminio there are a million guides on the internet that are easily searchable which explain in very simple steps how to get around apple parental controls without the passcode. It wouldn't take a tech wizard to circumvent them, it would take a motivated 8 year old about 5 minutes.

Aderyn19 · 23/10/2019 07:02

DS said when he was at school his friends knew how to bypass the school firewall. And they are supposed to have IT specialists setting these things up.

moomoogalicious · 23/10/2019 07:09

We bought a router that you connect to the main router. You can set up different profiles for each family member which also controls a timer on the wifi. Their mobile data has parental controls via the service provider.

moomoogalicious · 23/10/2019 07:10

No software is downloaded on their phones/laptops and all devices are attached to the new router

RushianDisney · 23/10/2019 07:20

To be honest I would make sure any tech was only used in communal areas of your home, so no disappearing up to their rooms with a laptop/phone to browse unsupervised.

I have Vodafone secure net on my phone, I used to be a dab hand with VPNs at school and can't get past this. It blocks a lot of innocuous stuff too which is annoying for me, but good for parents of teens.

stucknoue · 23/10/2019 07:24

Education is the only way, that and you then need to trust them. If they are old enough to have access to the internet unsupervised they need to have the life skills to know what is right and wrong. If by dodgy you mean porn, well lads were getting magazines without their mums knowing long before the internet!

Ilikesweetpeas · 23/10/2019 07:26

I am so shocked that smart phone use is a normal part of secondary school life. DD has to have her phone switched off but there are lessons where they are told to get them out and look online!

stucknoue · 23/10/2019 07:27

By 15/16 you should have taught them how to keep themselves safe, they could legally leave home!

AllStarBySmashMouth · 23/10/2019 07:39

By chat sites, I assume OP is referring to Omegle, Chatroulette and the like. Admittedly, myself and all my friends were using them as teens. So I get the concern.

I'm not sure about other companies but I know my phone had a parental block on it through EE. My parents had it lifted, but it somehow reset when my account was changed even though I was 19 at the time lol. They still wouldn't let me remove it without my parents permissionHmm So you could speak to your service provider? There was literally nothing I could do about the block - which was what was so annoying about it!

theendofsummer · 23/10/2019 07:55

If you have a broadband hub there are controls you can use. Switch off social media/chat/dating sites etc

Swipe left for the next trending thread