Rich house poor house....confusion

[ChangeAndThenChange]

I watched one recently from a few years ago a couple were in the bottom 10% the man worked but the lady did not despite having children that were in school, I could not see any reason why she couldn’t get a job to get them out of the bottom 10%.

AIBU to think this?

Could they afford full time care for all the children during the summer holidays . Our local after school clubs runs during the summer holidays . £35 a day that for three kids over 6 weeks is over £3000.

Yanbu

If your family are struggling for money, your dc at school. Unless you have disabled dc or something and genuinely need to be around for appointments etc, why wouldn't you work?

However this is mumsnet and many see living off the dh, not working for years even when dc are at school as an ok choice so this thread won't go well.

I know someone who was a "stay home mum" for 16 years, no she was just unemployed living off her dh. She now wonders why she can't get a job......

particularly as Children's Centres which helped with affordable subsidised childcare are being shut. It does depend where you live re availability of work let alone part time work that fits in with school - she may have only basic literacy/numeracy skills & lack confidence...

I wonder why farms don't target school parents. Do fruits have to be picked at certain times of day or could many hands make light work between 9.30 and 2.30 with no impact on school runs?

Round here it’s quite common for a mum not to work - husbands often work shift patterns, often using the family car to get there. We live in a village with poor public transport. So, finding a job with child friendlyish hours might be possible, but there is no way to get to it. Cleaning/doing Avon/care work/dog walking/child minding are quite popular.

@DNR many people don’t live no where near a farm.

We'd have jumped at it. Even if it was abysmal pay, quite honestly they'd have had no shortage if they could put those as the hours

Not just farms though. There must be other stuff that could be with a skeleton staff 9 to 5 or whatever and the bulk of the work done 9.30 to 2.30

I have to work evenings as I can't afford to work in the day (childcare for two, even just wraparound, would kill my wages)

However, I'd ideally love to work 9.30 - 2.30. How many jobs are there with those hours?! NONE! That's how many. It's a joke really. I used to work in retail many years ago, and we offered shifts of 10-2 to provide jobs for working mums and to cover the dinner shifts of full time staff. About 10 years ago, this was stopped as the business wanted everyone to be 'more flexible'

I find your attitude very patronising. The best thing she actually could do is set up some sort of business of her own, cleaning or something in the day. As otherwise, she will have crippling childcare cost in the holidays.

It took ages to shut my own mum up about why I didn't go back to 'proper' work in the day. I couldn't afford to, that's why!

I'm not saying SAHMs should work. Just saying certain businesses might be able to pick up some fab employees if they could fit those hours. Obviously many businesses could not possibly offer those hours but some possibly could

@DNR you realise fruit would only be ripe for short periods of the year? Usually a 10week max contract for live in rural farms.. The majority of our area is livestock too or the few cereal fields. You’d be hard pressed to find accessible fruit farms that pick by hand that can’t get migrant workers to live on site and work from first light through vs 10-2 school mums.

We had the perfect job for parents doing lunch over at the company I work for 11 till 2 trouble is the people in those jobs kids have long grown up and those who have those hours are still happy doing them. So can’t see any jobs of those hours coming up here for a long time . I imagine loads of workplaces are the same .

Oh dear. CoastalWave, who are you finding patronising? Me? Really not meaning to be. Just might have worked where I am

DH was self employed when DC were young, and he often worked away for a week or two at a time. When he was at home, I got agency work as and when and we shared childcare. My friend's husband worked days, so she worked in a chippy in the evenings, another friend did a couple of nights in a pub. My sister in law was a part time cleaner. Every penny helped back in the day before Tax Credits.

I'm retired now and volunteer in a charity shop. People come via the job centre for a few weeks to get experience, often women who have been SAHMs with no form of income other than benefits. Their DCs get to the age where parents are expected to find some work and its a big culture shock for some. If they last out until they have no DC at home their benefits are down to that of a single person. The charity offers NVQs and some have successfully gone on to employment, which is great, not only for their financial wellbeing, but also their self esteem.

They aren't doing their DC any favours by choosing to live permanently off benefits, children need examples and encouragement to aspire. Unless someone has serious health issues, there is little excuse for not doing something. If they can't find a job then at least try and get some qualifications for later on, or some voluntary experience.

Lunafortheloveogod. Yeah. I get school hols might make it a nonsensense idea. Not the hours, because I think number of people interested could be good but time of year probably makes it a no

Plenty of SAHMs are not on benefits. Hours are often the problem

Maybe she was like me? I choose not to work because of severe anxiety I’d rather have less and not be stressed than working and overwhelmed and very unwell

DNR unfortunately they can pay migrant workers living in crap conditions a lot less, they won’t get holiday entitlement etc like we’d expect. Even if it fit in with school holidays. And if someone can work 12hours or 4 who would you pick

When I worked in a supermarket, everyone was desperate for the 9-3 Mon-Fri shifts, no way a new start would get those hours. The workers who had been there for years were all in those shifts, it was mostly evenings and weekends which were needed. 6am or 11pm on a Saturday or Sunday anyone? (I'm in Scotland).

Took me two years and a halved salary for me to get a school hours job. Admittedly if I was happy to effectively halve my hourly rate sooner maybe I could have got a job but it is still demoralising having to work in a very junior role just to get by when I was once manager of a floor.
Even then I've only just started and haven't got a clue what I'm going to do about summer holidays. Cross that brigade when I come to it I suppose.

Also many people are only offered flexible working hours when in a job already. It's very difficult to swing that in an interview asking for a perm in office person.

still be better off financially and not climbing the walls with boredom stuck at home being useless to your family
Wow.

Isn't just a women's issue either. Plenty of men are in the same boat with this.

YABU. You have no idea what her situation was. There are many areas that do not have childcare options at all except very expensive private ones, it's a big assumption to presume all places have afterschool and breakfast clubs. Or that all who are SAHP are on benefits . Plus the tax credits are going, going gone.

Why don't people who start these goady threads just own up and they are not thinking, they never are, they're judging like fuck.

My last three jobs have had school friendly hours, 9.30-3pm
Temp agencies are your friend here. If you’re up to standard, they will find you school friendly hours.

My current job was advertised as a 6 hour contract, but my actual hours can be ‘as many as I want’ or ‘as many as they need’. It’s a camping shop, you’ll figure out who by looking at the contract offered. They don’t recruit on qualifications, experience, age either just in how capable you come across in interview.

I recommend taking with a pinch of salt the hours offered. ‘I can’t do that it says 9-5 it won’t fit round school runs’.

That the corporate recruitment lingo. At interview when you’re speaking to the store manager or office supervisor, they will bend over backwards to accommodate your requirements if they think you’re suitable for the position.
The first of those 3 jobs mentioned above were even a strictly ‘no flexibility’ advertised position as all staff had to be sat at desk and logged on immediately by 9am on the dot, yet I was able to negotiate coming in 15 minutes later than everyone else!

Mind you, there’s a sacrifice to make. All those jobs have been minimum wage, and yes I did have to use childcare which ate up all my wages in the school holidays. I was a lone parent of two primary schoolers.