Finally blocking and ditching needy drama loving friend !

[earsup]

My first time post on MN although often read the posts....Well have finally decided I have had enough of someone I know...we used to work together in local govt...she often left early etc and cited child care as the issue...was disciplined and bleated on that the managers were all nasty and unreasonable as she had a child to look after etc...

Always seemed to think that any other party was unreasonable if they didnt see things her way..Always constant dramas...car broke down on motorway as she failed to top up oil...not her fault...broke her boiler by not topping up water etc...not her fault..Got speeding fines...not her fault and asked friends to take them..!!. The list is endless...!.

So I gradually stopped the contact...after her calls and texts at 5 am etc about incidents with her son etc were becoming too much...Expected me to help out by going over and lending sums of money with no explanantion...all very bizarre...Anyway...I stopped responding to texts and emails hoping she would get the hint...oh no...started coming to my home and knocking...luckily I was never at home and DH opened door once to say I was abroad again working...she still persisted in calling several more times....I sent a message which stated that she needs to stop the constant texts and emails..[ now all blocked ] so she responds with how sorry she was and how desperate she was and nobody else will help her...she has an ex husband and now remarried etc...I gather other ' friends ' have reduced or stopped the contact due to her needy behaviour.....

Now she emails explaining again how desperate she was and how she is suffering from anxiety [ said this is a secret and has only told me and nobody else ]....I think I have been far too polite and need to get really tough if she contacts me again...her emails go straight to the junk folder as she is blocked....She is very thick skinned and persistent so not sure what to say to her if there is more contact..I find any contact with her so draining...listening to all the dramas and incidents which are often her own fault ...Thankyou for reading...!!

What’s your AIBU op?

Oh...well to ignore completely if she knocks again etc..

I think ignoring her won't get the message across initially. Face to face and being direct is best, then ignore after if you have to. Hopefully you won't though as she'll take her drama elsewhere!

"I don't like you. Stop contacting me"

The Thing with people like this seems to be that any bit of contact you give them , even if it’s ‘negative’ Just serves to reinforce them and propagate the cycle. I would probably go with one final clear and direct message to leave you alone & then never EVER respond to anything again.

Eventually it will stop if you never reply. Hopefully !

Be blunt. It's the only way!

Dellow. Totally agree. She came to our house and told dh she couldn't get hold of me by phone and that I never responded to emails and said she was worried and concerned etc... Despite being told in may that I was working abroad until at least October. I know it's a ploy to make contact and then commence with yet another lengthy monologue of dramas and ' poor me ' etc. She has a rich father who I think is tired of bailing her out also !

Stop feeling guilty. I can promise she feels no guilt about pestering you. This is bordering on harassment and you need to tell her to stop and then block.

I completely understand how draining it is to be with someone who can never take responsibility for their own actions, but this situation goes way beyond the simply irritatingly flaky.