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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I am so unhappy

2 replies

Sherloidbaisherloid · 21/10/2019 21:00

Just posting here for traffic really.
Please be kind, I’m feeling really down lately and I’m not sure if it’s just me being stupid or what. I’m married but my husband doesn’t really speak much to me. He works shifts so between us both working and running about after the kids we don’t really get much time. He seems to completely lack empathy, if I’m upset or bothered by anything He will ask what’s wrong but he comes across as very annoyed/confrontational when asking. He talks about how when he’s at work and someone comes to him with a problem and he’s so supportive, I wish he could be like that with me. A few years ago I caught him messaging a couple of other girls on Facebook, he claimed it was innocent but I’m not sure. I found out a couple of months ago that last summer he took out a loan of £16k behind my back. He has nothing to show for it. Im struggling with these things. I feel like I can’t leave, I only work part time and couldn’t afford to live on my own plus our kids would be heartbroken and devastated and I just can’t put them thru it. Is this just my life now?

OP posts:
MoonlightDancer · 21/10/2019 23:19

O no not good...looks like you you're gonna have to be really honest with you and him. Could someone have your children for the night so you can discuss everything without interruption/pressure? The £16,000 that is a lot of money...could it be to consolidate debts you already have? Gambling debt?

I would write everything you want to say then speak to him. The important thing is talking to each other and getting to the bottom of where the £16,000 has gone
...good luck Thanks

Armadillostoes · 21/10/2019 23:45

OP-I am really sorry. I agree with Moonlight, you have to talk to your DH about this, it's far too serious to brush under the carpet.

Also, don't assume that you would be doing your DC a favour by staying in an unhappy and dysfunctional relationship. That nearly always causes more damage in the long-term than the distress of dealing with parents going their separate ways.

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