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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not really their business?

20 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 21/10/2019 20:46

Do regular babysitting for a single mum and asked her if she needed me to help a few weeks on and gave the date. She said 'Any particular reason why you need to know?' Aibu to think this a bit weird and intrusive? It's only casual babysitting I do, not set hours or proper nannying role.

OP posts:
Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 21/10/2019 20:47

Reason being I have a potential babysitting job with another family hence needing to know the date.

OP posts:
FavouriteSoul · 21/10/2019 20:49

It doesn't sound weird and intrusive at all, she's probably just wondering why you mentioned a specific date.

Leeds2 · 21/10/2019 20:56

Maybe she was just being friendly, wondering if you were going to a party, wedding or something?
Personally, I would commit to whichever family asks you first on that date. If the second family asks you, and then the first family does, just tell the first family that you have a prior commitment. You don't have to tell her that you're babysitting.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2019 20:57

I'd also wonder why you mentioned a specific date if thats not normally how you do it

rainingallday · 21/10/2019 20:59

@IceAndASlice123

I think you asking if she needs you on a specific day in a few weeks, (for no particular reason apparently!) is more weird. Why did you ask her?

Maxineputyourredshoeson · 21/10/2019 21:03

No, I don’t think it’s weird or intrusive. You may have been going on holiday or had something else planned. If it’s not the way you normally arrange to babysit for her she probably though it was a bit strange, I know I would have.

Ginger1982 · 21/10/2019 21:04

If someone said that to me I'd probably say 'I don't know, why?' I don't think she was being unreasonable.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 21/10/2019 21:04

I've already explained why up thread.
I don't think its weird on my part as the day normally falls on a day I have her child but it varies. I didn't want to commit to the other job without knowing first.
Just found it a bit odd she would ask for specific reasons as to why I needed to know.

OP posts:
Mephisto · 21/10/2019 21:09

I would have said 'I've been asked to babysit on [Sat 9 Nov] and I know you sometimes you need me to babysit on Saturdays. Do you want to book me for the 9th or shall I accept the other job?'

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 21/10/2019 21:12

Not weird at all unless there is some crazy context.

Travis1 · 21/10/2019 21:14

You’re really over thinking this

Expressedways · 21/10/2019 21:18

Her question sounds fair enough. I don’t think she was prying into your personal life so much as asking you to clarify if you were available or not that day as you were being incredibly vague. You should have just clarified by mentioning you’d had another babysitting request for that date and we’re giving her first refusal before you confirm rather than being so weird about it! If you wanted the day off for other reasons you could have said, ‘just so you know I won’t be available to babysit on x date’.

Isitnearlyweekend · 21/10/2019 21:18

Sounds like a very reasonable question on her part. She’s only asking why you need to know so far in advance. What’s the problem.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 21/10/2019 21:22

I don't think I am being weird about it. 😐
Perhaps I should have explained in the first message but at the same time, I don't owe her an explanation. I have told her why I need to know now anyway.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 21/10/2019 21:33

All your threads are pretty intense OP.

You're really overthinking this.

TricklBOO · 21/10/2019 21:38

She could have just been making polite conversation. All you had to reply was 'I have plans that night'. She wasn't asking you to provide a 15,000 word essay.

itsgettingweird · 21/10/2019 21:39

Think it's perfectly reasonable she asked.

She wasn't prying just asking if there was particular reason you needed to know. If you'd have had a family party she'd have known it was a definite no go. If you'd have said you were possibly going for a meal she'd have known you still might be able to help.

WhiskeyLullaby · 21/10/2019 21:48

Not weird or intrusive.
Depending on the reason if she doesn't know yet if she needs or not she could figure it out quicker. Or to see if it's something set in stone or not . Or maybe just genuine interest in your life.

Or maybe she thought you were being weird and intrusive about wanting to know her plans weeks in advance when normally she informs you when you're needed.

Aprillygirl · 21/10/2019 22:25

She obviously doesn't know whether she needs you on that date yet, but if it's for an important reason it would prompt her to find out for sure. I think you're the weird one for not just answering her question and then getting on with your life Hmm

cactusthief · 21/10/2019 22:27

Fuck sake that is a normal conversation Confused

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