AIBU to tell my partner he has turned into my dad?

[DinaSoares]

I have a very damaged and damaging relationship with my Dad. We don't talk in general, I see him maybe once a year, less if I can avoid it.
My partner while having very little in common with my dad when we met has slowly morphed into him, from his moaning, to his unkempt appearance, to his weight and just general miserable demeanor.
My anxiety has been really difficult to manage the last few months and in a lightbulb moment over the weekend I realised its because I feel like I am back living with my dad again. Generally when I am around my parents my anxiety will spike for a few days before and after.
I know that telling my partner this will really upset him as he really dislikes my dad. I don't know what to do

Bump

Well, maybe tell him how you feel but don't mention your dad

Tbh I'm beginning to wonder if life just grinds us down and we all turn into that person.....

The main thing is to decide if you actually want to continue living with someone who is making you anxious and unhappy. If you don't, then start to address that situation, rather than comparing him to your father. Telling DP that he reminds you of someone he dislikes, will simply cause arguments which won't be helpful. You'd be better off to talk to him about the fact that you are not happy living with him, and go from there.

Not wishing to diminish your feelings, but is it possible that he's always been like your dad, but you just couldn't see it?

My friend got together with a guy who reminded me intensely of her dad the first time I met him - and her behaviour towards him also.

Is there anyone you could ask?

Thank you for the replies.

I think I do need to decide if I can continue living together. I will have to think who would know both of them well enough but can be subjective enough to ask if he has always been like him and I was blind. It seems like a long time to be completely blind to it but anything is possible.
Wish I could go back to before this realisation :(