Screamed in front of my 7 years old

[BingBo]

Am I being unmotherly... wanting to scream when my 4 months old moans constantly as he can't be parted from my arms for more than 10 minutes?

Is it even more unreasonable that I actually screamed and in front of my 7 years old?

We just moved back home after some work in the house during a good half year. Clothes everywhere piling up. Years of old cutters to be cleaned up before I could open boxes and unpack. Can't find anything these days as both the old part of the house and it's new part are both in a mess.

I just need a proper 3 days could finish most tidy up. But with the 4 years old breastfed baby who has had reflux and gassy tummy, putting him down is nearly impossible.

I got really upset and frustrated when trying to use like half an hour efficiently to tidy up DS1's wardrobe so that we could at least find the school socks and etc. in the mornings. After 10 minutes in His babygym, the little one lose his patience and started moaning nonstop. I took him into DS1's room, but it's impossible to standing up sorting out the clothes. But babies...Of course babies don't like you sit down. I understand babies have needs, but I felt really reaching my limit. 3 weeks in, we are still living in such a condition-half of the lounge is covered with boxes and the other half is with clothes and all sorts of stuff to be tidied up...

DH is away this week till Friday. I've already left tHe baby cry quite a few times as I had to keep things operating for DS1 and myself (if no more than the very basic). I would never admit to anyone in real life, but I sometimes felt wanting to punish the baby just letting him cry...

Am I unmotherly and a horrible person???

I wanted the second child. But only 4 months in, I am not sure if I overestimated myself...

The issue is the house, not your baby and you need to keep that in mind.

Whose idea was it to time the major house overhaul with a newborn?

It's a real shame that you haven't got the space to enjoy this time.

You need help with the house.

You absolutely can lean over a bit and sit down if you have the right sling. As the baby is getting bigger, a close caboo would be a bad investment as you can't use it past a far lower weight than they say, but you need to tie a Tula, or a lillebaby has a chest strap for extra support and might help.

If the baby is breastfeeding then get support with the reflux. You will need to give up dairy, egg, wheat and maybe other things for a few weeks to see what the allergy is. Meantime there's drugs from the GP, so go and get them! There are a host of support groups out there so start following up, because what you want is for the baby to be comfortable and not crying nor needing to be held upright.

What have you decided you can do, is there any support you can hire?

Hiya, I feel your pain. I have a fussy baby and I couldn’t put him down for months. He was diagnosed with silent reflux and I demanded omeprezole on the understanding that this was the one thing that would work. It did and it allowed me to put him down for more than 30 seconds.
I then worked on getting him in his cot for daytime naps - it was hard work but we got there. He only sleeps for 30 minutes at a time but it’s enough time to throw the washer on, wash bottles, tidy around and bit and pop the kettle on - sit down for five minutes.

I came to terms with the fact very early on that I won’t get anything significant done other than look after my baby, which is fine. I’ll never look back on this time and wish I’d done more hoovering.

I get 10 minutes at a time with him gym/ toys / mirror etc and once he’s fed up of me and I’ve exhausted everything we go out. I take him to classes most days.

If there’s something I really need to do then I wait till hubby is around and, get him to take baby out. On Sunday he took him to his dads while I sorted kitchen drawers out that had been doing my head right in for months 😂 maybe you need to section off what you want to do that will reduce your stress and do it when hubby is there.

It’s hard work looking after a fussy baby. And mine is 6 months and sleeps for 12 hours now and it’s still bloody exhausting!!

My youngest was the same - DH couldn't even hold her for more than 5 minutes without her screaming! It was absolutely exhausting both mentally and physically.

She never settled in a bouncer or babygym - both were passed on basically unused. I was given a baby swing from a friend when she was about 6 weeks and I could've cried when she fell asleep in it as I was just so bloody thrilled to be able to put her down and to hear silence!! Might be worth a shot of you haven't tried already?!

I also second finding a sling library nearby, a good one shouldn't be low down and you should definitely be able to bend/sit. We had a Connecta and Manduca which were excellent until she was 2 then didn't want to be carried anymore. I was even able to breastfeed whilst walking the school run which was handy!

I agree with others, you need to try and focus on just getting you and your kids through the day right now. Everything else can wait.