To ask how to cope with constant one upmanship...

[being40]

I've got an older relative coming to stay next week. For years and years this relative has always had to have done one better. This person does big them selves up out of self esteem issues but the last two times they've stayed I've not cooed so well with it. They lie too about things they've done - which I don't think is any sign of dementia yet.
Basically I find it really draining and affects our whole family. Do I just nod my head when they start going on (normally about the same thing).
I feel I've indulged them in the past and I've made a rod for my own back.
I went back to work full time in the summer and I really need to save my emotional energy for my children and my husband.

You don’t have to have anyone stay who stresses you out.

If you decide to go ahead you have a few options.

Play bingo in your head and tick off the outlandish claims.
Reply “oh really...?” on repeat
Try and get them to elaborate and see how far the stories will go (takes more energy)
Look into the distance and hmmm mmm interspersed with “yes, I know, you’ve told me before”
Each time they start get up and walk off to another room

But you don’t have to host them. It’s your home. Fake a family sick bug if that’s easier than being honest.

How close are you to them?

I have a friend whose dad does this - he makes up the most ridiculous stories. Friend shuts them down. The rest of us just go along with it.

Or, there's one I've used to somewhat devastating effect, 'of course you did!* with a very amused and disbelieving glance. Did that a few times in a row, with commensurate huff, puff and flounce as a result, and then they decided that perhaps this was not a game they wanted to play with me, I was just no fun. . .

However, that really only works if you can take or leave ever seeing or speaking to them again. . .

I just stop interacting with people like this. They tend to notice the difference in personal interaction and figure things out for themselves