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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be having a panic attack over this pregnancy?

16 replies

mummyof2girls18 · 21/10/2019 04:41

Please be kind to me, I am currently struggling and just want a hand hold...

I have Crohn’s disease and have been having a flare this month which has made me miserable, I was using protection with my husband and we were being very vigilant that even when we suspected a condom mishap I took the plan b right away to ensure no pregnancy...

Lo and behold, Friday I am late on my periods and did 3 different tests which all came out positive. I am FREAKING OUT to say the least, I just have been crying on and off since then thinking how can I carry another child and while my crohns is active? How can I handle this mentally? I have two DDs already 3 and 4.5 and I am just miserable and guilty for them as I can’t give them as much attention with a third...I am scared it will be a third girl, and before anyone attacks me, I love my girls more then the world itself but always wanted a little boy to complete the family...

How do I overcome this? How do I stop freaking out? Why am I freaking out when I should be a happy, don’t the say every child is a blessing?

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 21/10/2019 04:42

Sorry for the typos, I am just in the middle of a mini breakdown...

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 21/10/2019 04:45

So sorry for your shock. I think it's really hard to handle things in the middle of the night (assuming you're in the UK - if you're not and it's the middle of the day where you are, I apologise). For now I would focus on trying to calm yourself down so that you can at least rest and hopefully get some sleep. Tomorrow you will feel a bit stronger to deal with it all. How has your dh reacted?

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 21/10/2019 04:49

Thank you for the kind words, I am in Australia, so it’s midday haha! DH is of the mindset that every baby is a blessing and is happy to welcome another but I think it’s just me and knowing I am flaring at the moment is making me so anxious...

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 21/10/2019 05:02

It does sound very scary. Glad to see you're not up in the middle of the night panicking. Are you in any kind of Crohn's support group either in real life or on Facebook? Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you know anyone with three children you can talk to about how that feels? For what it's worth, a couple of my good friends have three children each and I've never felt any of their kids have missed out on any love and attention from their parents.

Mummaofmytribe · 21/10/2019 05:13

Oh love. Get a GP appointments asap and go discuss it. And YANBU to freak out. Is there a friend or someone you can call now fir support to have a cry and a chat?

TanteRose · 21/10/2019 05:29

Maybe talk with your DH about whether or not to continue with this pregnancy Flowers

You should be the one to make the final decision - it's your body

MerryMarigold · 21/10/2019 05:33

It's not unreasonable to be freaking out. My friend has Crohn's and managed to have only 1 child. It affected her so very she rest in hospital for 2 months, much of it intensive care and did not see her baby. Not saying that too scare you, but you need to see a consultant as soon as possible, not a gp, and see what he advises you.

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 21/10/2019 07:03

Thank you to everyone who replied.

To answer some of your questions:

I will be discussing this with my mum to gain her support but as stupid as this soon I am embarrassed to even tell people because I feel they will think I should just suck it up! I don’t have a support group as such but my IBD specialist has been informed and has requested to see my ASAP so I guess I have to wait to hear what he has to say...

As much as I support freedom of choice, my religion prevents me from choosing abortion unless medically required, so I will be discussing it with the specialist to weigh the pros and cons of continuing this pregnancy...

PS I need to stay away from Dr. Google!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 21/10/2019 07:04

Omg stupid auto correct
Sounds not soon and me not my*

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 21/10/2019 08:03

Dr Google is not your friend!

Ponoka7 · 21/10/2019 08:40

"don’t they say every child is a blessing?"

Priests do, but everyone else knows that isn't always the case, especially for women.

If your Mother shares your religion then she should be supportive.

You'll feel better when you've spoken to people about it.

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 21/10/2019 09:16

Thank you ladies, I appreciate the support!

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 21/10/2019 18:06

Hope the specialist can reassure you and glad you'll be seen quickly

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 23/10/2019 03:17

Just an update-

I started bleeding today and my HCg levels came back at 25 so might be a miscarriage we are thinking at the moment...

OP posts:
Windygate · 23/10/2019 04:38

Sorry to read your update. A miscarriage is never easy.

MyOtherProfile · 23/10/2019 05:10

Oh that's hard. Thinking of you Flowers

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